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Sunday, July 9th, 2000

Jasmine St Clair & The Blue Meanie

From Craig "The Foreman" Whyel: Regarding Jasmine St. Clair and The Blue Meanie-The poor chap's choice of bedfellows certainly didn't help his getting released from the World Wrestling Federation's Farm Club promotion in Memphis. Meanie, a likeable and aptly talented ectomorph, never took himself too seriously. He dropped from well over three hundred pounds down into a healthier range and was trying to get back to the big leagues. At the same time, his preciouse Jasmine was cozying up to the opposing World Championship Wrestling-a direct competitor of The Meanie's employer.

I can't help but wonder if her being involved with him, which he confirms on his website, hurt his chances of getting back to Hartford Ct. (Home of the WWF.). So, it would seem, for now, They are an out-of-work porn star trying to get involved in the wrestling business with an out-of-work wrestler. Sounds like a premise for a sitcom.

Seriously though, the two will get work on the independents throughout the country (in fact I think they have already). If Jasmine thinks that she is going to catch on with one of the big league promotions, she must have done one anal scene too many and had some woodsmen's knob hit her brain stem.

The girl's got some changing to do. In the meantime, I hope Meanie gets past her because he does have a chance at working in the mainstream wrestling. I think Jasmine will definitely get in the way.

Howard Stern's Friday Night E! Show

John writes: Luke, Friday Night (7/7) I was watching Stern's E! show at 11 p.m. His guests for that show were 2 women. One called herself a "doctor." Turns out she went to some B.S. "school" and got some "doctorate in sexual behavior" or something bogus, like that. This "doctor" brought along someone named Sandra who looked very familiar but I couldn't put a name to the face. Sandra spoke up and said she used to be a porno actress. She said she did a 15-man gang bang once and that she's done around 800-1000 guys in her life.

The crux of the show was that the doctor was going to stick a small TV camera inside Sandra so they could show Howard where a woman's g-spot is located. They were also pushing their videos on this topic, too. Eventually the actress says she is formerly known as "Tyffany Million." Looking at her you can tell getting stuck by that many dicks has started to take its toll. She looked ok - but nothing spectacular. Don't know when this show will be repeated but my guess is soon.

The Twenty Porn Commandments As Dictated To The Prophet Lynne L-patin

1. Thou shalt keep current thy PCR DNA test and forsake the Eliza, for it is flawed.

2. Thou shalt not spell thy name six different ways in disrespect of RAME, for they art my loyal servants and their numbers are legion.

3. Thou shalt not bare false witness on Mr. Marcus's posting board, nor inflate the number of gang bang participants nor thy breasts with silicone or other foreign substance.

4. Thou shalt not question the ratings of AVN, for though my intentions may not be known to the minds of men, yet I have my purposes in obtaining advertising revenue.

5. Thou shalt not reissue crappy 80's era porn in EP mode, in boxes current and modern, for retail sale at $19.99.

6. Thou shalt not question Luke's beauty, which is above that of other men, for I have blessed him in compensation for his shortcomings.

7. Thou shalt not claim a greater penis than that which I have deigned to give you, for 5.5 inches is holy, and satisfactory in the eyes of the Lord if not woman.

8. Thou shalt not covet that which belongs to Gene Ross, his copy, his job nor his whipcord thighs, nor shalt thy covet thy neighbor's bestiality tapes, nor his speculum, nor his URL to sell on eBay

9. Thou shalt keep my Sabbath holy except during CES.

10. Thou shalt not question Nina Hartley's true age, for the Lord conceals that which man need not know.

11. Thou shalt never produce a book as poorly edited as History of X again.

12. Thou shalt not publicize thy masturbation through diary nor website.

13. Thou shalt not purchase a large gun to compensate for a small penis, nor fondle thy gun in a rude fashion as if it were thy penis, for you have received thy penis in my image.

14. Thou shalt not claim a speech impediment as an Australian accent to impress chicks.

15. Thou shalt not insert thy protein bars into any of thy orifices other than thy mouth.

16. Thou shalt not pleasure thyself nor experience pleasure of any kind whilst listening to Debbie Friedman.

17. Thou shalt respect and honor all women, though they be small of bosom or brain, or unwed mothers, or geriatric porn stars looking for the resurrection of their careers.

18. Thou shalt pity the Debutantes of Ed Powers, and Ed Powers as well, for his hair receedeth, his ponytail be feeble and his penis be smaller than thine.

19. Thou shalt honor thy agent, though he be Regan Senter, Jim South or Reb Sawitz, for his suitcase is holy and his commissions never cease.

20. Woman shalt not lay with hedgehog as with man, for that is an abomination in the eyes of all, nor shall woman lay with woman unless video camera and still photographer be present.

Luke Gets Mail

Floorman writes: Why is Brooke Waters in jail? She is due out 6/3/01 and she has a ad on JAIL BABES. Jail Babe Profile - JB03530

Nicole writes: i am getting so tired of kid vegas ( or as i like to call him kid bounce, since his checks aren't any good) talking a bunch of s---. he is the biggest pussy i've ever met. he talks a bunch of s---, but can never back it up. he gets into fights because of his mouth and runs like a bitch. then he puts on this " why is everybody picking on me" attitude. he's sorry! nobody wants to hire him, probably because no woman will f--- him. he's got to drug up the girls that do preform in his video's. i hope that his girlfriend does go to rob spallones house, i know that tony eveready will pay an extended visit to her. hell, maybe i'll join him!

DC writes: Great site! Only one suggestion, when and if you get the time, for your stars tab you might consider adding on to your list of people in porn. Also include what the stars make per scene, which ones are producing their own product or movies (successfully). Another great addition would be to list and show what exactly what goes into the making of a porn movie from gonzo to the bigger budget features. You have definately made a name for yourself in the craziest job market there is that seems to surround "legitimate" business everyday.

Portion of the Week

Chaim Amalek writes: This weeks portion of the week contains as good an argument for hating an entire group based on what a subset of it has done as there is. I leave it to you to find and read (in the usual place). Of course, such an argument could be constructed agaisnt virtually any group of people. Which does not make it false!

More specifically, consider this portion: What are the Jews really like? Which is the true Jew: is it the leering,hook-nosed slave dealer in Tel Aviv who brutalizes our women because his religion and the laws of his country permit him to do so, or is it the sensitive, violin-playing philanthropist Jew presented to us by Hollywood?

More generally, is the real Jew the Israeli citizen who, while not a slave dealer himself, is comfortable with the traditions of his people and with the fact that his fellow Jews are still in the slave business -- or is it the friendly Jew who owns the clothing store at the mall where you shop and seems no more sinister than any other shop owner? Is it the alien-looking Orthodox Talmud-Jew, with his long sidelocks and yarmulke and black garb, that one sees in New York's "diamond district," or is it the normal-looking Jewish economics professor one had in college, who seemed like a nice guy?

Luke, here is an idea for you, to help you achieve both fame and do a mitzvah (albeit not one according to jewish law). Remember that scene in "The Graduate" at the end where the jew Dustin Hoffman breaks into that Christian wedding celebration and humiliates the goy groom by literally running off with his bride? Why don't you break into a jewish brothel in Israel and run off with one of the jews' Christian slave girls and free her from her captivity? Wouldn't that be something?

Luke: Here's an excerpt from evil Nazi Dr. William Pierce's weekly rant:

Last week we spoke about the growing trade in White sex slaves in Israel and the reaction -- or lack of reaction -- to that trade in America. I read to you from the June 16 edition of one of Israel's major newspapers, the Jerusalem Post, in which two Israeli feminists reported on the luring of Gentile girls from Russia, Ukraine, Latvia, Hungary, and other eastern European countries to Israel with the false promise of high-paying jobs as secretaries or teachers and then the grabbing of these girls by Jewish slave dealers as soon as they land in Israel. The girls are raped, beaten, and terrorized by the Jewish slave dealers to make them compliant, and then they are auctioned to the owners of brothels and sex clubs, where they are kept in locked apartments and forced to work as prostitutes. The Jerusalem Post article also reported that the reason Israel is the center of the international trade in White female slaves is that in Israel it is perfectly legal to buy and sell human beings and to own slaves, provided they are not Jews.

Our first tendency might be to dismiss such listeners as hopelessly primitive Bible-thumpers. Why should we take seriously any White person who believes literally and lets himself be governed by the Jews' own collection of superstition, myth, and pseudo-history? Well, one reason for taking the thumpers seriously is that, unfortunately, there still are a lot of them out there -- and many of them, aside from their habit of Bible thumping, are not really bad people. They have been deluded by preachers and churches; they have had a lot of nonsense pounded into their heads when they were young. But really, are people who believe that the universe was created in six days and that the Jewish fortuneteller Isaiah was able to make the sun reverse its course across the sky -- are they any more ignorant or gullible than people who maintain that the only difference between Whites and Blacks is the color of their skin? Is the religion of the Bible worse than the religion of egalitarianism, the TV religion?

A better reason for listening to the thumpers is that they have a good point: a point which is relevant to our own concern with the Jews. The Jews are the "chosen people," the so-called "people of the Book." It's not just the more primitive Christian sects which make that claim; it is the Jews themselves. That claim, in fact, is the fundament on which all of their religion, all of Judaism, is based, and it merits our serious consideration. We don't have time on this program for a comprehensive study of the Bible, but I recommend strongly such a course of study to anyone who is seriously interested in the Jewish question.

We can note quickly a couple of things about the Jews' Bible, however: about the Old Testament. It does condone slavery; it does condone the buying and selling of human beings. The Jewish god, Yahweh, or Jehovah, also sets his own stamp of approval on slavery in the Jews' Bible; he gives specific instructions to the Jews on buying and selling slaves. Slavery, of course, was an institution practiced by others as well as the Jews during the period of the Old Testament. What makes it relevant to the subject under discussion here is that Judaism is the most conservative of religions practiced in the world today. The Jews always have regarded every word of their Bible as inerrant. For centuries their rabbis have quibbled legalistically over the tiniest details, and their quibbling is set down in the Talmud, to serve as a guide for all observant Jews today. Every comment in the Old Testament about diet or clothing or grooming is taken as a divine commandment, which must be obeyed today by Orthodox Jews.