Thursday, June 22nd, 2000
The Ultimate Granny Gang Bang
Patrick Riley writes on RAME: Here's one for the fans of the old biddies. Frank S. and Mr. Facts especially take note! Why settle for just a middle-aged broad with a few wrinkles and a flabby body when you can have it all: a body that's practically all cellulite, a pussy that's all shriveled up, and an asshole... well, you don't want to know about her asshole.
Gigi walks...uh, correction, she "walkers" onto the set. That's right, she actually has a walker and is remarkably spry in using it. All the guys are standing around waxing their rockets and later in the proceedings I noticed a couple of them taking an avid interest in their neighbor's schlong. She strips out of her negligee and later granny underwear--hmmm, reminds me of The 1900 House currently on PBS--has a few words with the boys, and then gets down to the arduous task of sucking those dongs and doing some vaginal sex (no anal sex). After about an hour a couple of guys cum on her face and tits. Wow, what a movie. Guaranteed to turn any normal guy off sex for at least a couple of days.
Actually it's a little sad. At one stage after a particularly arduous round of a couple of guys she pushes the guy off and sits up (the action all takes place on a couch) looking bewildered.
Oh and let's not forget the stellar male cast: Tony Michaels, Alex San Paolo, John Janiero, Dick Nasty (Brit), Will Jarvis (Tal, the man who can't tell if a girl is beautiful or ugly), Paco Pasquel, Oliver Nitz (who took it up the butt from a strap-on wielding midget in another movie the same night), Claudio Cazzo, Titus, Arnold Schwartzpecker. Obviously there wasn't enough food to attract Ron Jeremy.
You can get this one from Filmco.
Oh, and does anyone know if Gigi is Gigi Appleton?
Kevin Moore from Stunningcurves.com: Luke, In response to Pat, Gigi Appleton of Avalon said this, "No, the 92 year old is not me...... However, I hope we are related cuz when I get there in the not too distant future I still want to be having that rocking sex."
Cindy Plenum & The Snakes
Luke: What do you think of the objections to the authenticity of your story?
Cindy: Hi Luke, its me, Cindy Plenum! Some of your readers proved to be very observant, but still wrong. The snake came from Africa and was transported by lorry and ferry from some place in Africa. That is why there were African plates on the truck. We learned later on that during this long trip in the back of the truck, the snake was not fed. Thats why it attacked a grown man. The story did NOT make local headlines because what we were doing was, well, not exactly legal, and we were careful to hide our tracks. We always are. Gotta be in this game. There is no official connection to the Hamburg Zoo. Again, we covered it all up pretty well. The bottom line is a man is dead, and not one of your readers offered condolences to me or to his family!
Brian: I see, when somebody does something illegal, it doesn't make the papers, right? The news sources are in the business of reporting what is good and law-abiding in the world, I suppose. And you did such a good job in hiding your tracks, that these pictures were found within 15 minutes on 3 different websites by myself (with Luke's being the only one not claiming it was a hilarious fake, except the fact that some poor snake was mutilated). No one is going to offer condolences to you and your family when you're trying to pull a scam on us. Don't get mad just because you can't fool us. I mean, for someone who is so upset that she requires condolences, would you actually be sending such gruesome photos for the world to see? I mean, if my wife was hit by a Mack truck, I don't think I'd be sending Luke F-rd pictures of her brains strewn across the pavement, would I?
Luke: Yeah Cindy, there do seem to be some questions about the authenticity of your story. Perhaps you do not have all your facts correct?
RAME's Role In Porn
> Which brings me to my next question; what is the prevailing opinion to this > newsgroup in the industry? I have noticed a few people who are on the > "inside" who refer to RAME from time to time, but what do many others think?
Lysa Stone from Astral Ocean writes on RAME: Regretfully, it's not good. They tend to dismiss us as a bunch of "porn/computer geeks who have nothing better to do than talk about how they could make movies better. Well let them try". This is something I've heard more than once. Of course I explain that we do that plus some creative critiquing of films and actors. I think the ones who don't read RAME are talking out of their rears because how can one have an opinion of something one has never seen or read!
Secondly, I know for a fact that many of the people who have uttered the above to me are also making terrible movies and are getting cut up by every review source so they need to be defensive that what they're doing is still cool. An even better explanation is that they KNOW they're stuff sucks and they are just unwilling to listen to ways to make it better. Then again, there are people in the biz that honestly don't care or even know about us (like the aforementioned Vivid).
So RAMErs, keep writing what you need to and don't let the industry people stop your ability to speak freely on a topic you enjoy.
Luke F-rd Live
I was live on Netpondradio.com Wednesday evening.
Click here to listen to tonight's show (here's the inauspicious beginning). My former boss Craig Vasiloff stopped by along with Laurie Holmes and Eddie Nash, recently charged again with the Wonderland murders.
My show gets off to a slow start, but hang in there, it gets crazy. Interview segments with Tony Eveready, Porsha, and various bitches. Cecil, the fat evangelical Christian ex-homosexual stoppped by along with Leon Trotsky.
Which porn star wants to be the first to give Luke phone sex (that I will record and broadcast over the site)? You can also give me a blow job in person, but I must be allowed to audiotape it and then broadcast it over this site. Email Luke
By the way, I am deadly serious that my sponsor seeks another contract girl to compliment Inari Vachs and I. Email skoskins@xxxgen.com (Steven Koskins).
Steve writes: "You might like to add a little detail such as the immense amount of promotion we are going to do for the girl - design and build/modify their website - make them famous.... what a wonderful person I am....
"Luke: Suggestion made to me that may be valid - the postings for a girl on your site appear to make it look as if you and the girl will be constantly working together. As you know, I think you're great for business - but it appears my views are not necessarily entirely in the majority - it may be wise to point out that the girl will benefit from your popularity (notoriety) and that while she will spend some time doing interviews with you - the majority of the time she will be working with Inari doing various promotions."
Luke: "She will be required to have sex with me, correct?"
Craig Vasiloff writes on Netpond: "The Razor Magazine site is going to kick off in August with a live Motorhead/Nashville Pussy show and the 'farewell' Colt .40 Feinberg performance. Print edition hits the streets in September."
KevinM> you can quote me on this luke - listening to your life through this mp3 makes me feel like I just smoked some crack.
Curious: Pornography may make you go blind, but it made Luke tone deaf. Dear God, man! Do not ever sing in a public forum again!
Marc Putative: luke--damn, i missed the radio show. i was at the theater (a not-too-lame musical, maybe more about that later). you played debbie friedman? i heard some of her stuff last week on the "rockin' rebbitzin" radio show. you should check it out, early friday mornings: www.wsia.fm
Luke: Dear friends, please listen here to my father preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ ("Suspicious of God #3"). And don't forget to tell your friends about Good News Unlimited.
Chaim Amalek writes: Ok I get it. just listened to the show and know what you were doing - reacting to what was happening on various chat sites. I don't think this works all that well. You need a guest to talk to, live or via telephone. Then, like on Berkowitz's show, you can supplement that with email or even what you see on chat, but you still need the live guest. Your voice alone is not enough to carry the show, just as Stern's voice alone, or Limbaugh's, are any other radio personality would not suffice for their shows. Also, the sound levels were way too low. Could barely hear this Debby Friedman person. (Next time play "mine shtetele Belz.")
What to do next: Contact the men who can green-light a show for you on TV or radio, and give them a porn tour to remember. Use the web site to generate topics of interest (e.g. snakes), and follow up on the radio show with live guests from Silicone Valley. Use the show to pump your web site. Get that synergy thing going. You are NOT making proper use of your shtick.
Marc Putative: a viable show for you would involve serving as an intersection between the monotheistic and secular world with guests from both sides at the same time. i just flipped through the latest issue of moment--on the same visit to tower records where i caught up on the porn racks--and there's an article about what a tyrant shmuley boteach is. but he'd adore you, i'm sure, knowing that you're spinning debbie friedman records between porn chatter; start sucking up to him. he's the man.
the musical i saw last night was called "romancin' the one i love". it's based on shakespeare's "the taming of the shrew". woman pushing thirty is thrust into marital bliss amongst much farce. the songs weren't bad, although they seemed awfully derivative (that might be more of a compliment, i don't pay attention to musicals much). once you get past the spit-take spectacle of a bunch of men who are most likely homosexual prancing around the stage and praising a woman's desirability, it all gets rather mundane. for whatever reason, me and my beloved were in a mutually bad mood afterward ... not sure why ...
Lou Scorbick: Luke- Am listening to your radio-web show replay today at work, and what can I say?... GENIUS. I'm serious man, you may be slightly crazy but what you're honing in on is absolutely brilliant. What I want and hope for you as a creative writer and observer is to maintain your perspective. Most great philosophy involves someone able to transcend the environment they're in and comment on it from a unique perspective. You show flashes of the ability to do this, but what sometimes happens is you'll get so caught up in the fun/sex/time-waste that these people engage in that you'll lose the ability to comment on it in any meaningful way. Let yourself go, but not all the way, Lukey. Keep that germ of intelligence that seperates you from the unwashed heathen. BTW: I banged another Jewess last week so just did another Mitzvah! I'm so proud of myself... I'm doing goodness in the eyes of God and enjoying hot Jewess snatch at the same time... ahhhh, it's good to be Jewish....
Anyway, back to the lunacy of your site: Your radio show is GREAT! Who cares about Kendra Jade retiring, though,... what is this akin to Michael Jordan leaving basketball? Gimme a break man, in two years there'll be so much hot snatch to replace her she'll have to beg Slash and/or Scott Baio to take her on a date... Protein bars, Judiasm, Kendra Jade, John Holmes, Jewish music, it's all hilarious, bro. Keep up the great work! When your Sponsor finally kicks you off the gravy-train I might know some legit writing jobs you can pursue,... although you'd have to actually work for a change! As to Tera Patrick, she is a Goddess. Your entire site should be devoted to worshiping the ground she walks on. And I'd also like to plug the Excalibur website, which ships me cheap adult product with no hassles and in a timely fashion. Thanks Excalibur! Get the Tera Patrick tapes ready, I just gots paid!!!!... Tell Chaim to shut the f--- up, though, he's not remotely funny. --Lou Scorbick
Luke: Chaim, what is your position on women praying at the Western Wall?
Chaim: For a country as small as it is, Israel has a great many interesting sites and sights, including the tableau about the Western Wall. I am not sure - in principle, I have no problem with this, especially since it irritates the hell out of the chassidim, who really ought to move to Poland or White Russia. On the other hand, there is lots more to the retaining wall than the so-called "Western" wall, including the recently excavated portions of the wall on the southern side of the temple mount. Why can't there be sections for women there, out of earshot of the hooker-addicted chassidim? When you get there, try to spend as little time with irritating American Jewesses as you can, and mingle with the natives, who are a whole lot more interesting.
How many days will you be there, anyway? How scripted is your trip? Will you have any chance to meet with Christian girls from Russia who are being pimped by jews to Chassidim?
Luke: I will be there for two weeks and it will be highly scripted.
George writes: Hey Luke, Some guy wrote in about Tera Patrick to your WWW and stated how fantastic she is. Well dude, I have to agree. This chick is f@#$^& gorgeous. She's got a face as beautiful as Racquel Darrian. Boobs like Christy Canyon. A butt like Jenna Jameson. And she really gets into it. Pls. tell all you fans to rent her movies for a real thrill. She has got it ALL!! The only necomer who even comes close is Katja Kean... regards, George, PS. Did Lexus Locklear really get raped?
Luke: I don't think so.
Poke: Tera was extremely hot in NICE RACK #4 and I also believe that she is the most beautiful and erotic being to come into porn since Nikki Dial. Those breasts are unbelievable!!
Torris: Enjoy it while you can, b/c we're living on borrowed time. She's much too popular and is soon to be sucked up by one of the cretin porn companies like Wicked (Temptress? waaahhh booohooo), VCA or god forbid Vivid.
I surfed over to AsiaCarrera.com and read her bulletins page. Here are some excerpts:
6/9 I discovered too late that by catering to my shyness instead of trying to overcome it, I unwittingly allowed it to become a nearly paralyzing force in my life. I found out recently that I suffer from "Social Anxiety", the third largest psyche problem in the US (hey, I was greatly relieved to hear I'm not the only one struggling with this pain in the ass every day!!). I was also excited to read about a pill doctors have started prescribing for social anxiety, called "Paxil".
6/11 I've heard all I need to hear - although most users agreed that Paxil does help with depression, panic attacks, and social anxieties, I think any of those would be preferable to the battalion of side effects they endured! Over 80% of Paxil users mentioned a diminished sex drive and/or difficulty/inability to reach orgasm - cripeys, that's enough to make ME "just say 'NO'"! And the headaches, nausea, weight gain, lethargy, and decreased mental agility are all pretty good reasons too...
6/19 - I know it's long overdue, but I'm happy to finally announce the release of "A is for Asia" on DVD! It's a really high quality transfer, digitally remastered, with DTS digital surround sound, and lots of neat extras, like photo slide shows, new Asia interview footage, and other DVD-type bonuses.
Andy: dts is an expensive and very high end surround sound that works for a movie like the matrix or saving private ryan. WHY the hell would you need it for porn??? i mean, it's expensive
Curious writes: Would any Doctor seriously label a patient who f---s on camera as shy or socially phobic?
Hounder: The studies don't lie (I'd love to talk to the other 20% of people on Paxil). While on Paxil my sex drive hasn't declined, but my ability to climax has (how's that for being sexually frustrated)? I used to be able to orgasm in 10 minutes easily 2-3 times a day (I'm 27) . Now I'm lucky if I can reach orgasm in under an hour once every 2-3 days. Everything is normal with sensations etc until the stage where you're about to climax, then nothing happens... You keep trying, but it's hard to finish (if you can)... My other problems don't seem as bad, but as with other anti depressants in the SSRI category (Zoloft, Prozac) it f---s with your sexual performance...
Luke: Yes, I remember similar problems that I had with Zoloft. But on Nardil, my sex drive became more normal.
Compuserve Porn
Bonnie Murphy was a business partner with Compuserve Adult since 1994. She warned Compuserve that its company operated bulletin boards contained thousands of copyrighted images from such companies as Zmaster.com, Playboy, CD-Rom Distributors aka Adult Legal (Steve Tepper), Scarlet. Some of the Compuserve porn business partners surfed into the newsgroups and sucked up the images.
Thirty days later, Murphy was notified that her contract with Compuserve was up.
XXX: "AOL is for pedophiles and Compuserve is for people who want adult content. AOL doesn't get raunchier than R-rated material while Compuserve relies on Adult for its profits. That's why AOL has kept the company going as a separate company."
One prominent porn business partner with Compuserve is Ohio resident Ron Luks. A former Compuserve employee, he used to operate Military Forums.
Compuserve has about 12 business partners on the porn side.
Luke Gets Mail
Jim_Gunn> The two greatest problems our society faces 1- The fallacy of causation; 2- The fallacy of relativism. I would elaborate except that it's not as much fun withour Rog and Mike here, eh he.
Rumdar: Luke.. I don't have cable so I am not familiar with Pop music critic J.D. Considine. However I notice he Errrrrrr! Pops up now and again with Helpful and the rest of us morons and gullible herpetologists. I checked his bio and I have some useful info for him. Johnny Ace despite what ZZ Top may have said, died from a self inflicted gunshot wound. I was chatting with an old Houston blues guy about five years ago before a show at the River Cafe on Montrose Blvd. This fellow had played with Sam Cooke, Little Richard and many of the 50s greats.He told me Johnny learned to play Russian Roulette while touring in Germany. He blew his brains out when his luck ran out one night before a show in our great city. And (get this) the gun was handed to him by another Rus-Rou participant that night Mama Mae Thornton. This for Marc. I have it on good authority that Nice Jewish Girl is driven totally wild and crazy by men using "The Accommodator". So don't leave yours at home when you visit L.A... From East of the Pecos rum
Jck writes: What ever happened to "Lori" or "Lonnie" (???) Sanders, she sucked dick better than anyone in the business (I know, met her at a party and we had a great time for three days)......?????
Luke: She left Vivid Video owner Steve Hirsch.
Olympia: Hi Luke, Just wanted to comment on some faulty New Testament theology posted on your site. The "war" described in Revelations Chapter 12 is occurring in Heaven, not in the earthly realm as suggested. And more obviously, it is between Michael and his angels, and the Dragon and his rebel angels....not between Jews and gentiles.
Hector: Kendra Jade is sweet, not a hardened bitch as could be inferred from her escapades e.g. with Jerry Springer, or her stickiness to rockers. Very open. I was not in the guise of a big spender (I spent nothing, actually) or other important personage, so she had no financial incentive to talk to me, but talk she did. If she is not a very nice person then she is one hell of an awesome actress.
Prophecy Comes True
Chaim Amalek: I was on this chat a few hours ago when some Rabbi Gadol predicted more violence in LA. Seriously, the AP is reporting more thuggish behavior about the Staples center
What the f--- is going on in this country? And for how long are we supposed to pretend not to notice that the perps are usually members of minority groups? (And I don't mean Japanese or Jews)
AP: LOS ANGELES –– Groups of youths leaving the Los Angeles Lakers victory celebration Wednesday overturned barriers, pounded on a transit bus, vandalized a catering truck and reportedly tried to attack a woman.
Police in riot gear rounded up several dozen youths south of downtown, lining them up against a building, hands bound behind their backs. It was not immediately known how many of those youths were arrested.
Lt. Horace Frank, a police spokesman, said early reports for the day indicated a man was arrested for investigation of sexual battery, and about a dozen other arrests were made for offenses including possession of narcotics and knives.
Dennis Prager writes in today's Los Angeles Times: Ever since the Los Angeles riots of 1992, I thought I would never again see police standing by as criminals smashed windows, looted stores, burned cars, terrorized people in their autos and set police cars on fire. But I did, just Monday night.
After the Los Angeles Lakers won the National Basketball Assn. championship, roving bands of young men challenged civilization as most of us understand that term.
While that is awful, it is unworthy of much attention. Every society has thugs.
What is worthy of immense attention is the absence of police intervention. While media people, City Hall and police headquarters are all telling us that the police should be commended for a wonderful job, the fact remains that for hours people were terrorized, stores were looted and police and other vehicles were destroyed and burned--all within a block or two of hundreds of police personnel. Yet the police did not stop one criminal and arrested a mere 11.
Came The Dawn
Lynne writes: I guess I have to find another synagogue, too. Traditional? Or should I just go to an orthodox one and get it over with? I want to sense people communing with a vital god...I want a sense of moral uplift when I leave. Or am I asking too much from Judaism? Is it just a "cover your ass" religion?
When I worked with Chris Mann at CPLC, and our boss was XX, she typlified your short hair Republicans (only a female version) who probably professed belief in God and also did business with Sturman. Rich, smart, well-dressed. Then there's me, right? I saw her literally step over an unconscious junkie on the sidewalk to get to work. She was the boss and set the tone for the rest of us. She didn't call authorities, nothing. None of us could then do anything about it, either.
Granted, a business needs to be run to make a profit. But I didn't think that was ethical. If you think you can escape the same tar and feathers you use on the rest of us, you are deluding yourself. But if you think you can, I would like to know the rationale. Because, in the eyes of the civilian world, aren't you seen as the same as Mila or some bukkake girl? And do you flatter yourself to believe otherwise?
Something must allow you to compartmentalize the conflict. That's why I let you (and others) label me however -- what matters to me is how I am judged by my actions in the here and now. I may be a porn slut etc. but I'm not going to let anyone die in front of my business, junkie or not.
By the way, I got my grades. Three A's, a B. 3.75. So even a skanky drug addicted tattooed porn slut nymphomaniac can go back to school after eighteen of contemptible conduct and derision and succeed? Or am I special?
Anyway, the whole point of today's masturbation diary is to most humbly and modestly submit that perhaps even though I am not the ILLUSTRIOUS Luke F-rd my time is equally valuable. To me, at least. It runs out and gets late and I get tired!
I feel manic depressive with you -- love you and covet you and am so angry with you, want to have sex with you and am revolted by it, all like a rubber band and so very confused. All sorts of new bad habits, and moving and school... Emotional illness can be catching, too.
Poor Luke. Poor Lynne. No one to tell poor Luke "nice work" for weeks.... No one to tell Lynne "nice work" for weeks....(that's not true -- I trust you)
I only had time to skim the section you did on tantra a few days ago. The Star people made sure I learned tantric technique early on. It is sorta nice to sit on the front porch and give one's self multiple orgasms through mind power alone, but ultimately it is just more masturbation.
Masturbation is like the stereotypical chinese food: full now, hungry an hour later. Making for compulsion. Whereas I can easily wait twelve hours before needing more sex.
Luke: Goddess really is a woman.
Chaim: Wow - a non-porn woman on l-keford.com? How has her gender been confirmed? I recall a posting from NJG (who I take to be pretty astute about such matters) that very strongly implied Goddess was an e-trannie, full of mystery. That actual Y-free hominids write to you is impressive indeed. Your redhead should be jealous.
By the way, I went to a trade show a while back - does not matter on what, it was not porn related - and felt more sexual energy from the women who were there than I have ever felt at any jewish singles event (or any jewish event of any sort) or Learning Annex class. You seem to have more luck at these things than most others have had. Is that because you are forbidden fruit to them?
Luke: No, it is because of my charm, good looks and grounding in Judaism.
TV reporter sends her picture to rapist
MediaNews.org: The lawyer for serial rapist Dennis Rabbitt was surprised when the handwritten note and picture of KSDK's Deanne Lane (at left) arrived. "Think about it," says the St. Louis attorney. "Sending a picture of yourself to a sex offender -- what do you think he's gonna do with it? It was just gross." Even the man who pleaded guilty to 14 rapes thought it strange, claims the attorney. "Dennis gave it to me. He said, 'This is what I got. You keep it.'"
NetpondRadio.com Chat
Session
Start: Wed Jun 21 18:00:55 2000
***
Now talking in #netpond
***
laurieholmes has joined #netpond
<CraigV>
www.razormagazine.com
<CraigV>
wow Luke brings 'em all intonight
<laurieholmes>
luke i got a question for ya
<laurieholmes>
will gotti get with melody love :)
<CraigV>
k - guys - just thought I'd look in - I'm outta here
<laurieholmes>
luke: if a train left seattle for chicago with tiffany mynx on it at
2:00 and a train left l.a. at 3:00 with mike south on it which train
will get to jim gunns house first?
<ObnoxiousBitch>
Hey Luke why don't you make up some s--- about Sahara Sands...
I could use the traffic, www.sahara-sands.com
<TDavid>
this BLEEP! guy would BLEEP! have every !BLEEP other BLEEP! motherbleep!
bleeped out lol
<jaYMan>
Luke has all the goodies
<SykkBoy>
yup TDavid, but there's no censorship on NetPond Radio :)
<p0rn0man>
i wanna f--- porcshe just because i own a mercedes..
<jaYMan>
but Lukes views are not neccisarily our own... LOL
<Curious>
Can a woman who f---s on camera really be a victim of shyness?
Gimme a break!
<ObnoxiousBitch>
Curious, you'd be surprised
<eddieNASH>
f--- compuserve
<ObnoxiousBitch>
there's a difference being surrounded by a bunch of friends you work
with and being out in public
<Curious>
She f---s strangers. Shy?
<p0rn0man>
ob. asia is way too hot..
<ObnoxiousBitch>
They're not strangers, what the hell are you saying, Curious?
<eddieNASH>
did you know that rog t pipe is gonna interview tera patrick?
<p0rn0man>
i watch gail harris on like jailhouse sisters the other night..
<p0rn0man>
ob.. she is way way hot..
<Curious>
Have you ever noticed in interviews she always brings up he alleged
IQ and Carangie Hall performance
<ObnoxiousBitch>
pornoman, my daughter thinks she's the prettiest girl in the world
<ObnoxiousBitch>
Curious, I've SEEN her academic awards, there's nothing alleged about
it
<eddieNASH>
luke did you know tiffany mynx has a new video coming out called a toe
story?
<ObnoxiousBitch>
Curious you sound jealous
<Curious>
Does Kendras retirement from porn include no whoring at Bunny Ranch
:(
<p0rn0man>
damn tell porsche i am an attorney..
<eddieNASH>
i know attorneys
<Curious>
l-keford.com listens don't have to wear a condom with Kendra since we
never have sex. It's true!
<p0rn0man>
she is f---ing everyone..
<p0rn0man>
did she f--- luke to get on the radio show?
<p0rn0man>
eddie when do you go to trial?
<eddieNASH>
luke is it true you did porscha?
<Curious>
Can we have a moritorium on the word porsche for porn stars or cars
in general
<eddieNASH>
luke can you set me up with porscha?
<Guest1>
Who here likes playing wtih snakes?
<Curious>
Luke Do Protein Bars cause impotentcy???????
<Guest1>
Luke, I have important things to tell your right now. Are you there you agent of ZOG you?
<eddieNASH>
i didnt have anything to do with the 4 on the floor murders
<ObnoxiousBitch>
Gail saved my ass when the server crashed and lost all my Sahara content
<Curious>
Will Luke go to Israeli Brothels for "research"?
<Curious>
Do Jews make out to this s---?
<Curious>
Boner Poison!
<SykkBoy>
don't confuse my long hair and tight ass for being female...
<mdl>
jews dont make out they have reproductive sex to it
<ObnoxiousBitch>
and monotheism sucks
<Curious>
The race is doomed. That
won't get me to f---. Terrible
music!
***
Rabbi_Gadol has joined #netpond
<Rabbi_Gadol>
Who here has done a mitzvah today that he is especially proud of? Please
share.
<Ironhorse>
i mitzvahd earlier today but I used my left hand, does that count?
<ObnoxiousBitch>
I'm with Curious, if that's sex music, the race is doomed
<eddieNASH>
i know rabbi lavitansky from chabad
<Rabbi_Gadol>
You too Luke, unless you can live an ethical life, your are doomed to
a life of onanistic misery.
<Curious>
Don't skirt the issue Luke F-rd = Kendra's Pimp
<p0rn0man>
i feel like i am really missin out not taking advantage of all these
pornstars..
<mdl>
impotence
<mdl>
the zionist conspiacy
<eddieNASH>
zionist organization group
<eddieNASH>
zog
<Rabbi_Gadol>
Clearly you never went to yeshiva.
<Weston>
who is host tonight ... ??????
<SykkBoy>
Weston, Luke F-rd
<eddieNASH>
why are you avoiding the question luke?
<Rabbi_Gadol>
The Lord of Hosts is always the host, this and every night.
<ObnoxiousBitch>
It sounds like 1970 washing machine commercial music
<eddieNASH>
debbie friedman is doing a bukkake
<p0rn0man>
debbie freidman is at the bunny ranch
<Rabbi_Gadol>
I am new to this mode of communication.
Clearly if this is the wave of the future, we are doomed.
<Curious>
Debbie must have blown Luke to get the air play
<jaYMan>
Curious, I promise I will play Pink Floyd as soon as Luke has expelled
his demons
<SykkBoy>
it's ok Luke, they're actually guys pretending to be women
<mdl>
get the rabbi to do it - they are good with demons
<Weston>
It's heartening to know he's not missing any days in his masturbatation
cycle
<mdl>
i thought we established he was doomed in gay porn
<ObnoxiousBitch>
Debbie needs a big fat cock in her mouth to shut her up
<p0rn0man>
lots of jews in porn biz..
<ObnoxiousBitch>
entertainment in general
<mdl>
lots of jews in all biz
<Curious>
That music will keep the Arabs out!
<l-keford>
praise the lord
<Curious>
Sonic Warfare
<l-keford>
hallelujah!
<Curious>
Luke You don't stroke to this do you?
<Rabbi_Gadol>
Luke, will you say a prayer for me at the wailing wall?
<John-xxxpix>
i love this music, its like porno music
<Curious>
The sound of Max Hardcoes urine is better!
<ObnoxiousBitch>
s---, the sound of Jeanna Fine in a sex scene is better... and that's
pretty bad
<Curious>
Porn music = really bad jazz
<Curious>
bad jazz is that redundant?
<John-xxxpix>
who is Luke talking too>?
<mdl>
some self destructive jewish girl
<Curious>
Her voice is irritating bring back Debbie Friedman!
<mdl>
all his women have a deathwish
<Curious>
She's a valley girl
<Curious>
Fer shure
<mdl>
yeah the valley of the shadow of death
<Curious>
Boring. Is this Lynne L-patin?
<mdl>
no she is the other self destructive jewish girl
<Weston>
this almost makes me want to immigrate to Isreal
<Curious>
I have a tape of me f---ing Asia Carerra .... Opps I lost it.
Damn
<Weston>
Yeah....more Debbie Friedman, please
<Curious>
If this music is Jewish aphrodesiac no wonder jewish women are frigid.
<Curious>
That's Luke's sister.
<Weston>
Jewish womn aren't frigid from my experience...
<p0rn0man>
why are jewish women so obnoxious?
<mdl>
luke until you can marry yourself you are doomed to be single
<Rabbi_Gadol>
Jewish women have higher IQs than most, and some insecurities about
their looks.
<Curious>
Asia is Jewish?
<mdl>
because you are the only one that can do you justice
<l-keford>
hear these chicks fighting over me?
<SykkBoy>
Luke, be honest, you paid these women, right? LOL
<Rabbi_Gadol>
The higher IQ gives them greater verbal intelligence, which, when expressed
through their insecurities, makes for some irritating behavior.
<Curious>
They are not fighting over him.
<p0rn0man>
rabbi otherwise they are obnoxious?
<mdl>
ioh yeas i am so impressed -to self destructive girls arguing over who
you will hurt
<Curious>
NJG is trying to shine the light of truth.
<Rabbi_Gadol>
Well, they often are insecure.
They see the blonde icons on television and in movies and know
that they cannot measure up.
<Curious>
Is that Gloria Leonard's voice?
Luke you Fossil Shark!
<Curious>
She's a catholic girl. Luke!
<Rabbi_Gadol>
Posting nude photographs of women is immodest and violative of jewish
concepts of modesty known as tznious.
<SykkBoy>
so, when is Luke gonna pose nude?
<Rabbi_Gadol>
This too, would be considered immodest.
<mdl>
such a honor
<mdl>
to be contested for
<l-keford>
I would never pose nude, it is against the Torah
<mdl>
so is being a gossip monger
<l-keford>
Rabbi, I am just trying to expose what is going on in the adult industry
so the authorities can better control things
<Curious>
There is no demand for you to pose nude.
<Rabbi_Gadol>
Quite right. But the kasha
of the day is this - is it permitted to pose nude in the dark?
<mdl>
you are just getting off on the manipulation of the week
<esco>
luck ford owns all your asses!
<mdl>
he just rents mine
<Rabbi_Gadol>
That is a good answer. But
if one is not, then not because we must build fences around the torah.
<Rabbi_Gadol>
And these fences must be secure, with watchtowers and madchine guns,
if at all possible.
<Curious>
Bring back Debbie Friedman!
<Rabbi_Gadol>
Luke, have you ever had sex with a needa?
<Weston>
What is a needa?
<p0rn0man>
i think i liked the jewish music better
<Curious>
Friedman! Friedman!
<Rabbi_Gadol>
Isit common among the goyim to have sex while the woman is having her
period? The term "needa"
is aramaic, and refers to the menstrating woman'
<Curious>
Including oral sex during period
<p0rn0man>
dont jewish women put a carp in the bathtub when they are on the rag?
<Rabbi_Gadol>
Weston, you have talmudically correct instincts. Mazel tov!
<mdl>
play that funky music jew boy
<Curious>
Luke-You earned your "Red Wings"!
<Rabbi_Gadol>
No, be a man. The drinking of blood, even figuratively, is for cannibals.
<p0rn0man>
man if asian carrera needs a sedative, have her listen to this show..
<Curious>
Is there gonna be anymore porn or just this tampon commercial music?
<SykkBoy>
Debbie Freidman rules!
<buffdaddy>
must be cuz i already gotta a rag site lol
<Rabbi_Gadol>
Why are so many of you racist?
<ObnoxiousBitch>
This music sucks, Debbie Friedman oughtta be shot
<ObnoxiousBitch>
Rabbi, we're not racist, we have taste in music is all... we know this
sucks
<mdl>
was there a bush when he freed the slaves? I thought it was in the dessert
<Weston>
Is Luke F-rd Jewish/
<p0rn0man>
only thing worse than amy freidman is luke signing
<Curious>
I bet Gene Ross likes cool music.
<Rabbi_Gadol>
Who here can recite the 613 commandments?
<Gumby>
Oh god lukes signing
<ObnoxiousBitch>
pornoman if he was SIGNING that would be good... it's his SINGING that
sucks LOL
<KingK>
lay off the crack-pipe, Luke
<buffdaddy>
only 612 dont believe in number 613
<Curious>
To many protein bars effects the brain.
<Rabbi_Gadol>
Luke, is this a place of torah, or is this a place of gehena?
<l-keford>
this is gehenna, Rabbi
<SykkBoy>
Luke F-rd = Bon Jovi? ;))
<Gumby>
Is luke drunk?
<ObnoxiousBitch>
wtf is 'ethical' monotheism?
<ObnoxiousBitch>
Luke's high on Judaism
<Rabbi_Gadol>
Then I urge you to leave this place of moral sewage and crack open a
shulcahn orek.
<mdl>
one god who wants stuff
<Curious>
Debbie sounds like a man
<l-keford>
I am witnessing rabbi
<ObnoxiousBitch>
One jealous and vengeful god... warms the cockles of one's heart I'd
say
<p0rn0man>
gefelta fish looks like giant turds..
<Rabbi_Gadol>
Do any of you have any questions for the rabbi concerning future prophecy?
<Amy1>
I do Rabbi
<l-keford>
yes, what is going to happen?
<Rabbi_Gadol>
"Witnessing" is a goyishe concept
<Rabbi_Gadol>
The colored of Los Angeles will riot again before the decade is out..
<Curious>
What was Dynamite gang bang like.
Was Eric that lame? Be
honest.
<p0rn0man>
rabbi they did that yesterday..
<p0rn0man>
the colored of los angeles will mostly be out of work...
<Amy1>
um Rabbi, they riot like every other month
<mdl>
okay here is a question - what kind of man would kill his son &
what kind of god wld ask him to
<Curious>
They don't riot at Debbie Friedman concerts.
<p0rn0man>
250k people at the laker parade.. not one of them missed work..
<ObnoxiousBitch>
I don't believe in Yahweh as the God
<Rabbi_Gadol>
God believes in you my child
<Rabbi_Gadol>
No, cant you see that even here, people are crying out to speak about
God?
<buffdaddy>
religion is man made over and out
<KingK>
organized religion is only a way to control the masses
<Rabbi_Gadol>
Luke, you would make a Grand Rabbi.
<Amy1>
actually yes, I think most organized religions are used as power bases
to control the masses
<Rabbi_Gadol>
I see you in a grand temple in Hollywood, preaching the word of God
to the Hollywood Gedolim.
<Weston>
yes, jayman. i agree.
Luke F-rd and netpond radio is one coincidence too many to deny
the existence of at least 2 gods
<Rabbi_Gadol>
I see multitudes of goyim flocking to your shul, adult men with penis
in hand, demanding to be circumcised.
<Tino>
so rabbi, I just started following. Will we go to hell for distributing
pornography?
<ObnoxiousBitch>
I wonder how MaxCash's programs will convert in Hell?
<Amy1>
god created man, man is god's work, so why would any expression that
shows off god's work be something that god would object to?
<mdl>
be ethical as well as montheistic
<p0rn0man>
my conversions suck everywhere..
<Rabbi_Gadol>
Whether one goes to hell is a decision that God makes.
He takes into account ALL of ones deeds and all the circumstances
of his life.
<Amy1>
i would think god would be more pissed off of us being ashamed of his
work than anything
<Tino>
so if I like do a lot of good stuff also- I can run a porn industry
next to it and still go to heaven?
<TDavid>
there are 3 Gods, we forgot about Debbie Friedman :)
<Rabbi_Gadol>
The real question is can one have the mindset to do good while oppressing
others?
<Curious>
This show is failing at all levels porn/religion/music.
<Curious>
Guys I am flacid here. Can
we talk pron now?
<Tino>
who the hell invited a rabbi? lol
<ObnoxiousBitch>
Luke did, he wants to make sure his show is kosher
<LeonTrotsky>
Religion is the opiate of the masses.
Pornography at least, can be counted on to provide the reliable
release of orgasm to the oprressed of the earth.
<Amy1>
I hate religion talk coz most people are just blind sheep who dont question
what they've been brainwashed with so they don't understand why they
believe what they do and as such, they can't support it in a discussion
so they either ignore you or yell at you
<LeonTrotsky>
Yes Amy1, you are correct to despise all religion.
<ObnoxiousBitch>
Well, with the deity known as either Father or Shepherd, I guess followers
must reckon themselves to being either children or sheep... neither
of which are very bright
<Headless>
what the hell is this on the air?
<l-keford>
Leon, why are there so many Jews in porno and communism?
<LeonTrotsky>
The instinct to revolt against oppression is hardwired!
Arise ye victims of masturbation, ye wretched of the earth!
<jaYMan>
somehow i believe our brains hold the collective conciouxness and experience
of every one of our ancestors
<Amy1>
i like masturbation, i think its fun, I have a whole bunch of toys too!
though battery prices are a bitch!
<mdl>
jews predominate in entertainment and banking because of the fringe
nature of those occupations
<Headless>
Luke what are you doing?
<Headless>
lmao
<jaYMan>
yeah Luke what are you doing?
<jaYMan>
This is a porn channel mate!
<mdl>
singing badly
<LeonTrotsky>
There is in fact no porn here.
Just as there are no women here.
<Reverend>
sup pornographers
<Curious>
I always wondered why porn sites didn't have Jewish pop music.
Now I know why.
<Cecil>
This is gay pride week. Are
there any proud gays here?
<l-keford>
Does it bother you guys that Cecil is an obese man?
<Reverend>
doesnt bother me cause i aint getting down with him
<l-keford>
There are loads of hot women out there who like to screw morbidly obese
men. Even men with very
strong pheremones!
<Reverend>
there is someone for everyone
<ObnoxiousBitch>
to each his own, Luke
<Cecil>
Such women are known as "fatty f---ers", and they often are
amazingly hot.
<Cecil>
Fatty f---ers, chub chasers, whatever your alliteration,
they are out there. Way
out there.
<Cecil>
I have one woman to feed me, another to help me put my shoes on in the
morning. And I have sex
with each as often as I like.
<Cecil>
Thanks for the hook-up last week, Luke!
<l-keford>
you're welcome
<l-keford>
how many women responded?
<Cecil>
Well, at first only a few. But
when I came back later to describe the treasures that could be found
in the folds of fat on my frame, many!
<Cecil>
There are loads of hot women out there who like to screw morbidly obese
men. Even men with very
strong pheremones!
<l-keford>
wow
<l-keford>
that is so cool
<l-keford>
I'm sorry the Netponder weren't very friendly, try nudging them again
<Cecil>
Yes, the internet in the answer to my dreams.
Again, there are no females here.
But thats ok.
PornStarTrading.com
<Eddie_Nash>
luke will you say the word bukkake?>
<TheRogSays>
How do I get a radio gig like this? I have an Air Supply CD I can play
<TheRogSays>
Did NJG just say cocksocket?
<TheRogSays>
I want my own radio show
<TheRogSays>
Is Luke high?
<jaYMan>
what kind of connection you have Rog?
<TheRogSays>
DSL
<jaYMan>
all youd need is a small mixer and a medium quality mic
<jaYMan>
winamp, shoutcast plugin, and a membership to live365.com
<jaYMan>
live365.com will step you throuhg it step by step
<TheRogSays>
There we go, Rog REviews on the air. 2 Thumbs up will have a whole new
meaning.
<jaYMan>
whats Rog Reviews?
<TheRogSays>
Is Luke going to play a long distance dedication?
<Joner>
ive heard some wild things about www.nicejewishgirl.com
crazy web cam activities
;-)
<KevinM>
l-keford[1]:[1]
this is getting wacky
<KevinM>
the music is driving me to drink
<KevinM>
and the njg three way is crazy
<KevinM>
people will love this s---
<KevinM>
i mean LOVE it
<njg>
Kev: how have I instigated anything?
<KevinM>
it seems to me from just listening this that you and this other girl
are fighting over Luke
<KevinM>
"getting vagina"
<njg>
I merely said that goddess is not a real girl
<njg>
had nothing to do with luke
<njg>
what do you mean "getting vagina'? kevin?
<KevinM>
I'm listening to you rigth now
<KevinM>
talking
<KevinM>
with this other girl
<KevinM>
and luke
<njg>
me?
<KevinM>
yup
<KevinM>
he posted it
<KevinM>
you didn't know?
<njg>
you are listening to me?
<njg>
no
<KevinM>
yup
<KevinM>
HAHAHAHAHA!
<njg>
LUKE!
<jrage>
njg u got a crush on luke?
<njg>
no
<KevinM>
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
<l-keford>
a few mins from the threeway NJG
<KevinM>
I can't get over this stuff
<njg>
what threeway?
<KevinM>
though you do have a really nice voice njg
<l-keford>
with the southern chick
<njg>
oh yeah
<njg>
the Southern chick that Luke insisted *wrongfully* that she was a Kennedy!
<njg>
a real one! as IF!
<njg>
omg, that is SO OLD LUKE!
<njg>
Kevin, that tape is over a year old
<njg>
so much has changed then
<njg>
Luke you need to preface it with how old that tape is
<l-keford>
ok
<KevinM>
it maybe - but just still wacky to listen to
<KevinM>
some of this stuff is funny as hell
<KevinM>
spinning the hits!!!
<KevinM>
luke your killing me
<l-keford>
u luv that jew music kevin?
<njg>
without me, luke is nothing....right luke?
<l-keford>
right
<njg>
I'm the talent, he's just the suitcase pimp making me famous
<njg>
right lukey?
<l-keford>
yes
<KevinM>
OMG! in the middle of the jewish musick he mentions getting oral sex
<njg>
to whom?
<JimGunn>
Remeber that old new wave song from the 80's with the chorus "You
got the looks, I got the brains..let's make a lot of money..."
<l-keford>
yes
<KevinM>
you can quote me on this luke - listening to your life through this
mp3 makes me feel like I just smoked some crack
<KevinM>
OMG your signing
<KevinM>
please don't ever do that again
<njg>
you know this doesn't sound like Luke's voice
<njg>
luke's real voice doesn't sound like this
<njg>
it's better
<KevinM>
ok I got one request
<KevinM>
get people to call in
<KevinM>
I want to hear the folks that visit your site actually talk
<KevinM>
yeah I'm hitting LA right after AVN Expo - flying in the 11th and staying
for a few days
<KevinM>
Metro is having a big party at night on the 11th