Thursday, June 15th, 2000
Kendra Do Your Duty!
Luke had one of his best traffic days ever Wednesday thanks to a link from Koam.com, a Howard Stern fan site.
Chaim writes: Pretty impressive, I think. (To be honest, what does it mean to be the 6,000th most popular site on the web?) The knowledge that tens of thousands of Americans and others have been exposed to the teachings of Reb Amalek warms my heart.
Why haven't you ever been on the Stern show? Why the hell hasn't your Stern-Groupie friend Kendra Jade done her duty by getting you on to talk about the book? Some friend of Luke you turn out to be, Kendra. Luke, you did her the favor of hooking her up with me, the least she could do in return is help get you on the Stern show, if only via telephone. You give me her email address and I will give her a piece of my mind.
Chaim writes Kendra: Dear Miss Jade:
Remember me? Our wild hot nights together on the Upper West Side of Manhattan a few weeks back, when you lovingly helped me roll over in bed and greased me so that I could squeeze through my apartment door and go out for a walk? Our dinner at Katz's Deli on Houston, when you came to understand what a hard Hebrew National Salami could do for a woman? Our bible study class, where you and I reviewed Leviticus in its entirety? Don't you get airs and pretend that all this meant nothing to you! There now. You know who this is - your good and very old friend Chaim.
I am writing to you on behalf of a mutual friend whose career is stuck in neutral, awaiting his next big break. Yes, I am speaking of Luke F-rd. He needs to get on the Howard Stern show, and you, as a frequent and influential guest of Mr. Stern's, could make it happen. But to date, you have not.
As a favor to me, in partial repayment for all that I have done to and for you, please give Luke a hand here. I do not know why you have not helped him out in this manner to date, but I am willing to assume that it is NOT because you hate jews (Luke is a jewish person). However, if you persist in refusing to extend a helping hand to Luke, I will have to report you to the Anti-Defamation League, as well as every Hollywood Jew I know.
Let's hope it does not come to that. Thinking back on the wonderful times we had together (and let's not forget your "Assistant" - she was great too!), why not work with Luke in getting him on the Stern show? Do right by him, and I will let you spend another weekend with me in my rent-controlled apartment the next time you are in New York.
Love and Kisses, Chaim Amalek
Chaim writes Luke: Wow Luke, you were right! Here is what KJ wrote back to me:
Dear Chaim:
I wish you had not cc'd Luke on that letter. It gives people the wrong ideas about me, and about us. Of course I remember the time we spent together in New York, and I will always cherish those memories, darling. But as I told you then, I am not willing to give up my career as an entertainer to settle down just yet. I have places to go, mountains to climb, things to prove. Just knowing that you will be waiting for me baby is enough to keep me going. Just don't ever tell me that you won't be there for me when I leave the business. (And please, no more jokes about my "re-inserting the figurative a one-way check valve back into my rectum", they are NOT funny to me.)
Now, about Luke, what more can I say than what I said in bed with you, nuzzling in the folds of the hairy rolls of sweaty, well-oiled fat that girdle your manly abdomen? To begin with, Luke has never, ever asked me to help him out career-wise. Except for money. I have lent him about $4,000 over the last year, and there is no sign that he will ever pay up. I have also given him a place to stay when he had to hide from others, as well as a sympathetic ear when times became too tough for him. I want to help him, but the truth is that Howard does not like Luke, and as between Howard and Luke, I have to side with Howard for now.
But enough about Luke. Chaim, you are Da Bomb! I think of you often, darling. Never forget me; we will always have New York. Love,
Your Kay-Jay
Luke Quite The Character In Hong Kong
My Dear Mr. Ford:
My name is Tsein Min Yuan. I live in Hong Kong, where I was born, and work in the hospitality and internet industries. I am writing to let you know that among the english-speaking people of Hong Kong (of whom there are many) and the mainland, you are a very popular character. I hate to say this, but many of us are coming to form our view of America from web sites such as yours!
With warm regards, Tsein Min Yuan
Jenna In Top 100
Jenna Jameson makes FHM "100 sexiest women in the world" list.... She is listed as #74 and is the only adult star listed.
Amused writes: My sources at FHM tell me that another famous porner just barely missed the 100 Sexiest Women in the World List . . . # 101 . . . Diana Roth. By FHM you do mean "Female Hirsute Monthly"?
JennaJ.com writes: FHM stands for "For Him Magazine". A sister magazine of Maxim.
Marc Putative writes: fhm isn't a sister publication to maxim. it's a competitor from the u.k. which has been similarly imported for a u.s. edition. both magazines make me dizzy when i flip through 'em, but maybe i'm just too old; the busy layout compensates for a dearth of actual inspiration. those brits are good at that. the managing editor at fhm used to work at bikini (which along with details, icon and p.o.v. was an american lad mag blown out by these well-funded british imports). he brought me on to write some stuff and then stopped returning my phone calls and made it possible for me to never get paid a dime for my efforts. yes, the life of a freelance writer can be frought with more depravation and desperation than anyone who copulates in front of a camera for $$$ that said, a hearty mazel tov to jenna jameson on her latest honor.
Dynamite's Hubby Gary Speaks Out
I talked Gary, proud husband of gangbang star Dynamite, Wednesday night.
Luke: "Did Highpitched Eric ejaculate?"
Gary: "He popped in her hand during a hand job. He lost his erections. He got three strokes and he lost it. So she started jerking him off to get him hard again and pffft, it was done."
Luke: "Do you think he's gay?"
Gary: "No. He likes black girls."
Luke: "So everything went well?"
Gary: "Yep. She got her 21 pops. And everything went relatively smoothly."
At Dynamite's Tuesday gangbang, I talked to porn star Nina Whett.
Nina: "My next movie is going to be 'f--- My Boyfriend, Bitch.' I will distribute it myself."
Luke: "Is that a dog collar you're wearing?"
Nina: "Yes. It's blue."
Luke: "Are you going to go around led by a chain today?"
Nina: "No, I'd love to do that but I'm just here having fun. I'm going to be VH1 at the end of the month talking on a half-hour special about four porn stars who want to be rock stars. I'm a musician first. I was one before I started in the business. And they're telling our life story."
Luke: "What sort of musician are you?"
Nina: "I sing. I used to play bass but I sucked."
Nina started stripping in the early '90s in San Francisco. Then I was a pro wrestler for years. I toured with California Wow, Blow, Glow, California Heat. Everybody. I'm wrestling now. You can contact me at Blowmelive.com. I have a song on the Porn To Rock CD at porntorock.com. And soon, Ninawhett.com."
Luke: "How many videos have you done now?"
Nina: "Over 100. I've done a lot of fetish videos... I work a lot on the internet. I have sex or do live strip shows. For VCA Xposed and Blowmelive.com and Planetary..."
Luke: "You look healthy."
Nina: "I am drug free. Alcohol free. Healthy. I was drinking and doing drugs periodically. I used to be in a 12-step program and I just rejoined the program. Yeah I have gotten out of control and wild but that's just my personality. I was at this one gangbang and I was getting really crazy and beating people up. That's because I like to. If the guys let me squeeze their cock hard and slap it on my face, then I like that. And they seem to like it too.
"If somebody else has a problem with how wild I am, then, to each his own. I'm not for them. They don't have to shoot me, they don't have to hang out with me, they don't have to f--- me. But I am a pervert, whether I am on drugs or drink or not. I was a pervert when I was a little kid."
Luke: "What happened to your relationship with Johnny Toxic?"
Nina: "There was absolutely no relationship between me and Johnny Toxic. I would call that the most dysfunctional friendship I've had in years. It was a bogus display of immaturity on both of our parts. We played it up a lot because they called us the Sid and Nancy of porn. We did a few movies. They all sucked. They suck because we were a couple of idiots acting out his fantasies with drug induced idiocy and I was going along with it for the ride. Because I needed a place to live and for a short time he was using. All the money I made went to whatever he thought he needed. I wised up to it. He was totally lying to me. And I don't want to associate with people like that.
"The last time I talked to him his girlfriend Cheri Swells came at me with a knife. He had this fat girlfriend who came barrelling through the window of his house with a butcher knife in her hand, trying to get us. I picked up all my s--- and moved to a hotel for a month and now I have my own house.
"Apparently Johhny had been seeing her on the side. She's really overweight. She's been doing those life in the fat lane movies. She felt that he had done her some wrong. She thought I was still dating him when I was just there picking up my things. He'd come out of the shower and she saw me sitting there on the couch and she just started stabbing through the window. She broke the window. And I said, you know what, I just don't need this drama."
Luke: "Did she stab him?"
Nina: "No, she didn't stab him. He too was running from the police. He was afraid that he too would go to jail. And he initially told me to call 9-1-1. I called 9-1-1. Then he changed his mind and started running down the street but the cops had already seen him.
"I'm doing music. I'm working on this new project, Porno Whore. It's a new band that I am working on. Before, on the CD, I was in Blind Suicide but nothing really came of that... And I didn't want to be affiliated with Johnny Toxic.
"The music industry and the porno industry are a lot alike. The difference between them is that when you're doing a porno movie, there's a camera and you're getting paid."
I meet Gino Greco, a male performer over the past five years. He was brought into the industry by photographer Bill Diehl.
Nina: "He tore up Ashley Shy's pussy. Made her bleed. She said, 'I will not work with him anymore.' He's too fat. And she has the smallest pussy in porn."
I run into Howie, who says I've put on 20 pounds since I last saw him 18 months ago.
Ashton Moore Update
Former Adam & Eve contract girl Ashton Moore writes: I am expecting my second child in August. My contract with Adam and Eve was terminated due to my pregnancy. I am still in constant contact with Nick at Ultimate and may return to work for him later this year. I would like to work exclusively with my husband and with other girls. Suze Randall has also contacted me to do some more photo shoots with her. I am enjoying the time away. The industry was a little too fast for me initially. My phone never stopped ringing and I had no time to spend with my family. I already have a 4 year old son with my husband and I was taking classes at xxx for interior design. I am also pursuing my real estate license.
Is Luke's Diet Juvenile?
For breakfast at 9AM, I had a toasted wholewheat bagel with cream cheese and sliced tomato and some cottage cheese and Bell Pepper. For lunch, (2:30PM), I had a lemon chiffon Promax protein bar, two overly sweet popsicles, a Dole lemonade fruit ice and some low fat cottage cheese. For dinner (6PM), two more sweet popsicles, a lemon chiffon Promax protein bar, Dole lemonade fruit ice and a power size Jamba Juice Mango A Go Go smoothie with a protein boost. Am I eating like a teenager? Does my diet reflect a lack of emotional maturity?
And is Harry Knowles and his website unethical? Does Aintitcoolnews.com fail to live up to high standards of journalistic ethics? I found some scary parallels to my own site.
In depression over my moral shortcomings, and due to technical difficulties, my pilot TV scheduled for June 20th will be pushed back a month.
I ran out the door last night at 7:18PM for a 7:30 PM meeting with the Jewish singles group leaving for Israel July 1st. I tell people that I write on entertainment for Composite magazine which is published in Japanese. I did write an article on porn for them in the summer of 1998. It's my safety out.
Unfortunately, when I arrive at the meeting I realize that I am wearing Craig Vasiloff's XXX Generation T-shirt as well as Lynne's fatboy boxers which hang down below my shorts.
Chaim Amalek writes: So you are going to the Holy Land (currently know as Israel) - good for you! But once you get there - no, once they close the door on the airplane - stop living a lie and come clean with what you do for a living. It will make your mission to zion a whole lot more interesting for those around you than not. I mean, don't you think people will remember Luke F-rd, the converted Aussie Jew porno camp follower, the expert on gang-bangs and matters equestrian, better than, say, Barry the proctologist, or Josh the lawyer? And the chicks, after feigning horror for a day or two, will really dig it. Especially since they will be stuck with you for the duration. How many days will you be there? Will you visit any other countries on this trip?
Luke: I will be gone for two weeks. I'll also spend a few days in Greece.
Marc Putative writes: i had dinner tonight with a motley crew of radio folks including iain grant, the program director on talk 640 responsible for your on-air appearances ... and, by extention, our current acquaintance. he said his main motivation in getting you on-air was to have you and marsha lederman hooking up. is there really any distinction between what you cover and any other media these days? once the national enquirer was considered degenerate--heck, my own mother wouldn't let me bring it in the house, she seemed to be more repelled by it than any type of porn. i don't understand the need to be so reticent about what you do with the israel trip people. i know it takes a lot of 'splainin' but if most of them are listening to radio, reading papers or watching news programming, they're bound to have come across the same material you cover. (and, do any of those other outlets feature dollops of chaim amalek?) having your own entrepeneurial website is way more impressive than being some hack for a japanese rag--besides, you're only making yourself look like a moron, since any material you'd submit would have to be written in this simplistic "dick and jane" style for translation.
Steve Neece writes: Hate to tellya,Luke,but your diet is a recipe for disaster.Like most Americans,and probably Aussies as well,you are a sugar addict!!!!Don't you know that refined sugar is poison and has killed more people than all the hard drugs combined.Read the labels.If it says ....sugar,sucrose,corn sweeteners,evaporated cane juice,brown sugar,turbinado sugar or raw sugar....they are all just clever ways of saying..refined table sugar..or white death. Pick up a book called SUGAR BLUES by WILLIAM DUFTY.You can probably find it in any natural foods store and if not,try the public library.
I doubt you have the willpower to change your habits,very few people do.Are you a slave or a master?Sugar addicts are on a day long roller coaster ride of sugar rushes followed by crashes where they can barely function.They are also responsible for sudden murderous outbursts of rage.What do you wanna bet that fatass XXX is a sugar addict?! There have been many experiments in prisons and jails where groups of prisoners were taken off refined sugar and in every case the instances of violence in this group was a fraction of that of the general prison population. Porn is mostly junkfood sex for sexual cripples and subhuman morons.As the IQ of the nation sinks ever lower porn will devolve along with it. If it addicts the bottom 9/10 of the gene pool and prevents them from breeding then it will have served its best possible purpose.
Apropos of this,I notice more and more hatred of women in your posters.They want nothing but to abuse them and begrudge their slightests efforts to better themselves . They hate what they desire.That shows hows ridiculously f---ed up they are.Even Patrick Riley has descended to this level.By the way,Patty boy,the last I saw Nina Hartley(1998) she still had 6 pack abs and one of the better bodies in the biz.Do strong women frighten you?When I hear you guys disparage those engaging in 3 figure gangbangs you might stop to think that it may take 200-300-400 or more of you to satisfy one REAL woman!!!The shame should be yours,not hers.
Lynne writes: You eat like a Jewish Princess on a diet, Luke. And were they the "birds & bees" boxers or the "lions & lambs" boxers? Your own description of your appearance at the Jewish Singles meeting makes it clear why I did NOT ask you for advice on how to dress for my first visit to synagogue in almost thirty years. I am afraid I'll chicken out over not knowing what to wear to attract single doctors and lawyers and not go at all, especially since my diet has been far more juvenile than yours and I've taken to eating far too many sweets lately.
Luke: They were the birds and bees boxers.
Andy Edmond Speaks Out
Wednesday afternoon I interviewed Andy Edmond, owner of SexTracker and YNOTmasters.com.
Luke: "Andy, how was the Cybernet Expo?"
Andy: "I think it went well. There are issues facing all of us in the industry, like child porn, stolen content, regulation of content, credit card issues. They affect everybody.
"We've talked to a lot of governmental agencies about these issues, particularly child porn, and I felt that my job at the Expo was to download the information that we've [SexTracker] gathered to everyone who was interested. I think the first half went great. The second half went not so great.
"The only problem that I really had in the second half was not really people disagreeing with me. I say things that people disagree with. Other people say things that I disagree with. My problem was that we started focusing on each other and stopped focusing on the issue. That's why people walked away disappointed."
Luke: "You became the focus of the child porn panel."
Andy: "Yeah, and I kept trying to divert it back to the issue but a couple of people came up and started talking about stuff totally unrelated to the panel. Turning some personal issues that I had with people in the business into a totally inappropriate arena. I kept wanting to return to the child pornography issue. We had the greatest minds sitting up on the panel. But a vocal minority wanted to derail the great work we were doing into something that was more personal in nature. But I think that after it was over the great minds did get together in a more secluded and controlled place and talked about the issues. We decided to share our resources and promote each other's efforts."
Luke: "Is there child porn on sites that SexTracker hosts?"
Andy: "There's very little child porn on sites that SexTracker hosts. There was a problem. Over the past two years we've seen the amount of child pornography online double every six months to the point where it got way out of any one company's scope to do anything about it. We have a quality assurance job who's only job is to kill any child pornography they run across.
"The people who are actually running the child porn rings have gotten so profuse and prolific and the distribution and the free tools out there, like the tools I innovated and brought to market, that's become almost unbearable handling it by ourselves. The truth is, it's like going and getting drunk in one bar and getting kicked out and then going and getting drunk in another bar and getting kicked out and so on... You go around the circuit and you've always got bars that are open to you. My idea was, if we band together and we can make sure that the drunks stay out of our bars collectively. All the child pornographers should stay away from our tools that allow them to distribute this information.
"Internet Quality Check was pioneered to do that. That allows us to give the child pornographers a much harder time to have repeat offences on our tools... One problem that we still have with child pornography is with our counters. That's totally separate. So even though we don't host any child pornography any longer on our free hosting, our counters still does link to a lot of child pornography. We are trying to come up with ways with the government to use that data to send people to jail. We're working with the FBI to allow our backyard to appear as clean as it is and still put people in jail."
Luke: "You posted that the government wanted you to keep your tools in place on sites that contained child porn."
Andy: "When Customs notices major organized rings of international child pornography distribution channels, when they notice them [child porners] using our system, they ask us to keep the child pornography up so they can gather as much data as possible to bust these child porn rings. The people we're allowed to take down are the mom and pop child pornographers. They're not in any major organized child ring. At the moment there are no open cases of child pornography with our free hosts with the Customs department. We have an instant takedown policy.
"Webmasters get confused when they see Internet Quality Check doing a great job cleaning up our hosting systems but they don't see the counter itself getting cleaned up... Customs have given us threats that we need to keep our counter open to child pornographers because they use it as a source of information to find new portions of the ring as they surface. We have a problem with that. We do not like counting hits on child pornography sites. If we had a choice, we wouldn't accept those sites in the first place.
"Until we get orders otherwise... We hope to hear from the FBI in a written statement that says (A) that we can stop listening to Customs and (B) that your policy can be instant takedown of any counters, or free hosting, with porno. Customs and FBI have a turf war going on right now. I'd rather side with the FBI so I can get my entire neck of the woods completely clean of the stuff."
Luke: "Andy, when you took over YNOTmasters, you assumed a leadership role in the internet porn industry."
Andy: "I would say that Netpond, Topniche and YNOT are all vehicles for webmasters to share ideas that ebb and flow. One day it is a sponsor getting flamed and one day it is a sponsor getting lauded for doing a great job. The posting boards are vehicles for opinion... YNOT allows me to participate in this...but YNOT is not the end all or be all in being the solution to the problems that affect us. We're all responsible for that. We all have to learn what we can learn from the message boards... And take that into our own backyards and implement those solutions.
"One thing I don't like about the message boards, YNOT included, is the ability to stimulate fighting and bickering. I think that's here to stay no matter how much I idealize that... I might think that it is a place for mature public debate but it isn't. I've backed away from the message boards for now as far as my way to institute leadership."
Luke: "It sounds like there are a few people in the adult industry who don't want you to be their leader."
Andy: "I am not out to be anybody's leader. I'm certainly not out to be anybody's elected leader. There is no vote for leadership in this business. My job is to protect my company. I think everybody out there has their own assets to protect. I have more resources than most people. When I take care of my neighborhood, I take care of a big neighborhood. And I like telling people how I did it so they can do it with their own. When I say that I am doing something, it is not because I am vying for leadership or any appreciation from the community because I've done all these great things, I'm simply telling people how I handled a problem that they face as well. I think there's been a misinterpretation of that by a vocal minority who've promoted me as a leader more than I have promoted me as a leader as a way to get people negatively against me. Which is undeserved..."
Luke: "Do you have character flaws that encourage people to hate you? Such as not listening to people?"
Andy: "I am a good listener. I like having respectful conversations with people. I do not deal well with people who are hostile or belittling or are just in a conversation to get their own way. I like organized formal respectful meetings. And in those organized formal respectful meetings, where people can sit down as equals, I think that works great. I think a lot of people in this business struggle so much for notoriety and fame and name recognition that they only thing they can do, because I have so much, is to try to draw me down. And I don't think that is something that I care to expose myself to anymore. I've always prided myself about being accessible to the smallest adult webmasters and the largest adult webmasters. And some of this vocal minority is taking that accessibility and disrespecting it. So I am just going to back away and not make myself accessible to those portions anymore."
Luke: "Andy, what is your association with the website Lycaeum.org? And do you think that any association you might have with it could hurt you?"
Andy: "When I was a college student at the University of Wyoming, I was involved in a Master's thesis as a ethno-Botany student. It focused on the cultural use of plants and medicines throughout time. I started a website called "The Lycaeum," which was one of the first websites out there. It was 1995. It was a school project. It got a lot bigger than I ever thought it would be. Certain people in a community way put up a lot of information that I wasn't responsible for even though I hosted the site. I have not been involved in 'The Lycaeum' for four years. It still runs a lot of original work on it but it is still run by a completely different community of people.
"Can it negatively reflect on me? I don't think so. A lot of your new money which is on the internet is very libertarian. Look at the Paul Allens and how they spend their money and the things they do with buying basketball teams and building shrines to Jimi Hendrix. If you read Steve Jobs, he talks about his acid trips to major magazines like Time and Newsweek. I think an eclectic culture is expected of the top businessmen these days, especially when it comes down to the industrialists of the silicone era."
Luke: "Do you support the legalization of drugs, such as the hallucinogenic ones detailed on Lycaeum.org?"
Andy: "I don't support legalization. I do believe in a relaxation of some laws. But that is my personal opinion. That is not my primary agenda right now. My agenda is to grow my business and to protect the industry by sharing the knowledge."
Luke: "Daniel from PornTrack writes: Ask Andy why he attacks PornTrack every opportunity he gets?"
Andy: "Hey Daniel, I don't attack PornTrack every opportunity I get. I was under the mistaken assumption that PornTrack was outside US jurisdiction. And I had alluded to that in the conference and how that made certain government officials nervous. I apologize deeply. I will even take some time now to promote your new efforts. Hypercounts is a new counter that Daniel is coming out with in conjunction with Porn City. I've seen the site. It looks great. I have nothing against Daniel. We've competed before and my respect for him has endured."
Luke: "What is going on with the credit card processing issue and what are you doing about it? It seems that many webmasters are concerned that Visa and Mastercard might pull processing for adult websites?"
Andy: "That's one of the issues I'm proudest of working on. Even though Child Porn backfired in my face at the last tradeshow...we've had a lot of success with the Credit Card issue. I've been on the phone with a lot of the big players. They all support the [Andy Edmond] site Creditcardwatch.com. We've issued statements and platforms and written letters to American Express. We've been in 14 major markets with TV interviews and airtime. We've been in about ten magazine articles, with about 30 more coming up. With the Department of Justice going after Visa and Mastercard...they can't talk about it. The only group who is CreditCard Watch. We're shifting public awareness away from Visa and Mastercard being financial giants to financial duopolies that harm the consumer. And mostly harm the merchants. I use my non-adult industry connections with big places like The Industry Standard, Wired Magazine, friends at Real Networks and other people in San Jose to get across that credit cards run the entire internet. And after a trillion worth of investment into this internet thing, the only way that people can make money back on it...is for the credit card industry to get a clue. They don't have a clue right now.
"We're using the stuff that they've done with the adult internet to advocate change with credit card companies and make them more merchant friendly. Is it working? Hell yeah it is work. American Express has already backed away from its policy of not processing adult websites. American Express is still processing adult websites today. It was supposed to be shut off two weeks ago. You can still sign up for a new adult account with American Express.
"American Express has battled us in the public marketplace when it comes down to interviewing, cross referencing our story and their story. American Express says right now that they don't believe they will change their policy but it is under review. We're having an affect. And I think we are going to see conversion ratios and signups across the board.
"With VISA and Mastercard, we're going to participate as much as we can with our Washington DC and media connections to make sure that everybody knows that VISA is the enemy for the internet as a whole. Nobody is going to jump on a bandwagon to save the adult internet. It's not going to happen. But if the bandwagon was spun to say, let's save the internet as a whole, the adult internet is going to benefit. Our conversions will go up and our pay per signups and pay per clicks will go up and I hope that my efforts will help reverse the trend towards declining profits in the past six months."
Luke: "If MasterCard or VISA stopped processing adult sites, it would be a catastrophe for the adult web?"
Andy: "There are some major contingency plans out there that I can not talk about. Major weapons of war, so to speak, that have been built, are armed, that are ready to be lit and are pointing right at MasterCard and VISA's headquarters. I don't mean that in a literal sense. I mean that in a legal, public relations and regulatory sense. That VISA and MasterCard have been made aware of this weapon and they're not going to touch us. Amex was left off the map. They're finding out later that the adult industry has more power than they might've thought."
Luke: "Wenchy writes: Ask Andy if he has any upcoming releases or projects?"
Andy: "The big one that I am proud of, which is not a profitable release, it is more of a community release, is my continued work to put together a trade association. I'm spending most of the summer on this. I feel that the message boards can only do so much good as a way of sharing information. But as a way to come up with a unified grassroots effort, it's not the best place. I want to create a trade association that will allow us to have an affect on child pornography, children's access to pornography, stolen content, a bill of rights for adult webmasters, free hosting, paid hosting, business ethics for adult webmasters... People who want to get involved in a more orderly structured environment for conversation and action will have the place to do so.
"We're totally renovating our free hosting system. We also have SexTracker 2.0 which has been in development for over a year. Moneytree 3.0 will be supercompetitive with lots of sponsor programs. The Sex Ad Network is a new project we've released over the past month in quiet beta tests. You can find that at sexadnet.com. It is a banner rotation and tracking and signup tracking program. It's built for traffic brokers."
Luke: "Andy, what's your history with Lee Noga? Was there anything you had in your history with her that may have provoked her outbursts against you at the Cybernet Expo?"
Andy: "I talked to Lee once in Miami. We caught each other on the way to the Players Ball. I asked someone who that was. They said, that's Lee Noga. I said, Oh, I know Lee. I'm going over to her to shake her hand. We had a nice conversation about XXX counter... Little did I know, totally off the map, I saw Lee coming at me in this conference personally. Totally dropping the child porn issue and just talking about a lot of real personal grunts... It surprised me. I had no idea where that came from. I don't know of anything I've done to piss her off. All I know is that she had some dislike of me and rather than calling me and rapping about who I am and who she is, she made a big public spectacle of her feelings on a situation that was totally off topic from child pornography. And that's cool. I think people noticed that Lee was pretty hot under the collar. People get way at times. You've got to let it go. I've got no hard feelings against Lee. She runs a great site - OneTheRopes.com.
"The truth is, when she did focus on the child pornography issue, which she did on the boards later on, she had some great points. And I was glad to have the opportunity to address them. I wish that I had had a more respectful audience when I was writing back. I just answered her questions and that's the way it went."
Luke: "How many employees do you have?"
Andy: "We have 115 employees. We have offices in four cities across the United States (Virginia, San Diego, Los Angeles and Seattle). We might open a new office in Georgia."
Luke: "When you took over YNOTmasters and became more prominent, did you expect to receive this much heat?"
Andy: "I expect to receive heat on anything that I do. Any person who feels strongly and has the bravery to stand up in front of an audience and tell someone how they feel, has to respect... You can't please all the people all the time... There's certain people that you do business with and then stop doing business with, and sometimes you have let people go. You have to end a relationship. You make enemies in business. I expected the heat, but I still was disappointed that the information that I had to share about child pornography got sidetracked..."
Luke: "What sort of job is AVN doing with IA2000?"
Andy: "I think AVN is doing an awesome job. If I look at tradeshows in the last three years and then I look at the last Miami show [when AVN took over], it was perfect. It gave everybody a place to speak. It was an awesome networking show. It was at the best location. It was well run. There were no hijinks. There were no wrenches in the mechanism. Everything was smooth and everybody walked away so much more wealthy than before after three days of networking at that show than any event previously in the past. AVNonline magazine is a great magazine that all of us get and look forward to. It allows us to see how other webmasters are marketing their programs. Certainly the articles are not as investigative as the Luke F-rd site but I think it has a lot of value for this business... I encourage people to identify who has value and use those sources to grow your business. AVN has value, Luke F-rd has value, Lee Noga has value, I have value..."
Luke: "Thanks. Anything you'd like to add?"
Andy: "I'd like to let everybody know that even after all the heat I got in the past couple of weeks, which was a little more than I expected, that I am still hanging in there and as motivated as ever to contribute to solving some of the problems we face as an industry. The next year or two will be very telling as to who succeeds... Those people who read the boards all the time and communicate well with other people and work well with businesses like mine and Cybererotica and CENs and Topniches and Netponds, are going to do well. Those that get caught in bitter battles with personalities will find that their welcomeness in the business will be lessened. Pay attention to your business. Even though we don't need to band together under a singular leader, like some people have accused me of trying to do, we need stop from dividing each other so much on issues that don't matter."
Luke writes Curious and Chaim Amalek and the hard hearted who don't care much about the above issues: As you read the Andy Edmond interview, don't you feel the least bit guilty over your lack of concern for adult webmaster credit card processing?
Curious: You are correct sir! How can the mainstream media continue to ignore this abomination? When will the UN send in peace keepers? The time for action is NOW!
Luke: First they came for the adult webmaster credit card processers, and I stood silent because I was not one. Then they came for the Jews...
Chaim: I normally skip all that webmaster mishegas, and thus do not really know what you are talking about. But if there is a problem here, rest assured that the jews are behind it.
Lynne writes: Dear Luke: Thank you for your attention to adult webmaster credit card processing issues. As you know, I have a very tender heart. I felt badly for all the honorable adult webmasters who had trouble finding credit card processing centers and lost business from sex-obsessed losers like myself, who were looking for quick porn thrills when they fell into the hands of disreputable adult webmasters and resolved never again to give their credit card number to an "adult" site.
And why AREN'T you on the Howard Stern Show? Because you expect him to call you? "Howard, e-mail Luke if you want him on the show." I have never heard the Howard Stern Show, but when Chaim and I agree, you are in trouble, Luke...
Netpond Opines On Gangbangs
The adult webmaster posting board Netpond provided these thoughts on Dynamite's gangbang and the genre in general:
Bad Unkle: I was just looking at pics on Luke F-rds site from some gangbang that just happened and I am really curious. Who is the bigger loser. The girl who gets payed 5 grand to f--- 20+ guys or the guys who sign up to f--- the girl? I thought I had issues..
Arg: Ever watch any Houston 500? You really gotta wonder about #427, going down on the sloppy starlet.
Djinna, who's site carries the Houston 500, writes: I read an article in, I think it was, Esquire or Details about all the sad sacks that drove for 5 hours with their little "clean" certificate to line up, since their only chance to get laid any time in the 90's was with Houston, and then realized that getting it up in front of hundreds of people wasn't as easy as it looks. Sad! Hmmm. But if gangbangers and gangbangees are all losers... the loser count for men to women based on the Houston 620 alone is 620:1! ;-)
Bad Unkle: I seem to recall a couple chicks with strap-ons at the shoot... And then there are the fluff girls, one of the few jobs where the saying "it beats flipping burgers" does not apply..
Djinna: I seem to recall a couple chicks with strap-ons at the shoot... And then there are the fluff girls, one of the few jobs where the saying "it beats flipping burgers" does not apply..
Mona: Hmph. Pretty judgemental comments here on guys who come gangbangs, and the women who take part in them. It's a fetish, like any other... the fact that it isn't your fetish doesn't make the guys who ARE into that "losers". As far as the girl who gets paid to be in a gangbang, enlighten me - something would be wrong with her- why? Having sex with a lot of men makes her somehow less worthy than a woman who only has sex with one man, or two - or perhaps a woman? I'm not really trying to fight with anyone, but had to comment, as the double standard appearance makes my hackles raise... particularly when judgements are being handed down by anyone whose bread and butter is in any way related to the willingness of those men and women to participate in such an activity.
Chris: I think Brad Shaw is doing an anal gangbang at the next IA2k to debut his newest niche site, bradtakesitintheass.com , and I think he is paying on check signups and will not take password traffic. I do not judge what brad does in his gangbangs.
Djinna: Mona, True, I was judgemental. And it is questionable from someone who's bread and butter is related to what I'm dumping on. I guess I separate my personal and professional judgment, a little, when it comes to some of the content. I guess personally speaking, I just find gang-bangs...yucky. But the most important thing is that no-one who participates has any health effects or regrets after, and that's what I hope. Some of them no doubt have loserish reasons for participating, but others wouldn't. (Maybe I'm just digging myself in deeper, but it's a confusing topic.)
Mona: Dijanna - thanks for the honest post. I don't think you are digging yourself in deeper. Everyone is entitled to their personal tastes, after all. :) But I will always jump on general, blanket statements about sexual preferences. Believe me, there are certain things I am personally grossed out by - and in many cases, there's no rational explanation for it. But - I try not to judge someone elese because their taste is different than mine. As far as loserish reasons.... to me the only really loserish reasons someone could have would be: A. They are personally degraded by the act (don't like doing it) - but do it for the money anyway. B. Doing something dangerously, eg, if you are a known health risk. C. Infidelity D. The obvious - non consensuality, which includes child porn. And of course, on this particular subject, I am biased... I have been trying to put together a large gangbang so I could get f*cked silly for months now...... (sly smile)
Chris: I think gangbangs are just lame nowadays. Something like insertion counts and same guy counts over and over.. we need gangbang regulation immediately.. I demand it. Do you think sextracker could start a committee on gangbang regulation?
Mona: I guess what I'm really saying is this: if a guy who comes to a gangbang is a loser, then a guy who looks at a porn photo and masturbates is a loser as well. It's all in the same boat. And I don't happen to think there's anything wrong with it.
Bad Unkle: As far as loserish reasons.... to me the only really loserish reasons someone could have would be: A. They are personally degraded by the act (don't like doing it) - but do it for the money anyway. JASMINE ST.CLAIRE B. Doing something dangerously, eg, if you are a known health risk. MARC WALLACE C. Infidelity MANY OF THE MEN THERE (well at least the ones on the springer show) D. The obvious - non consensuality, which includes child porn. (no comment)
Serge: Chris, my sources in Washington report that "Gangbang Regulations" are high on the agenda in 2001 of new administration. My other source from NYC reports that Gangbangers from 5 families infiltrated Wall Street, not a pretty picture, really! Mona, what do your sources tell you? Do you think Wall Street Ganbang should be outlawed?
Arg: I read an article about anal gangbang queens of a decade ago, who all have HIV as a result. They kept trying to outdo each other in competing videos. Not enough data to say on the ultragangbangs of late, but with the upcoming event that was mentioned here, I don't see how you can run 2500 men through 5 women, regardless of condom use, and not have some serious disease transfer. After 24 hours of latex rubbing on them, the women will have to be bleeding to some extent, the rate of misapplied or failed condoms runs at several percent, and HIV tests typically don't pick up on the disease until it's had time to gestate for several months. Personal choice, sure, but I think it's nuts.
Dragonking: I had a four some once when I was younger while camping. I was drunk and stumbled across these three girls in a tent. Does that qualify as a gand bang? What number does it take to make a gang? Because I liked it does that make me immoral? on a side note--------
One woman can do 627 guys "Because She Can"!! One man might find it hard to please two women in one sitting... or in my case three` Mona, maybe they're just jealous of the females capability to do an unlimitted amount of men. If a man had the capabilies to do 627 women in one night, would he or would his moral and ethics come into play?
You people forget what you do for a living. You left your ethics at the door the first time you "Clicked Here to Enter"
Restricted: Ever Been Screwed by C.E.N.(cyber entertainment network) ??? Webmasters? Well heres your chance to fight Back! I plus a number of other webmasters are beeing screwed by CEN! Some have Deleted accounts for no reason others have been give the usual ( we've increased are security 10 fold and cant pay you for 6 weeks) then never get the money! There have been countless e-mails sent to CEN with No return! So We Are in the middle of filing a lawsuit agianst CEN The More webmasters we Get, the better chance we have! So please if you have been screwed by CEN, Doensnt matter if they screwed you for $10,000. or $1. Just E-mail me at screwedbycen@nightmail.com
Serge: Dear Restricted, class action against CEN...what a sissy job!? 2 days ago we started the class action law suit aganst 1-99 inclusive, which means, 98 defendants can be added to the law suit duiring discovery, webmaster who participate in our Class Action suit, can practically sue entire industry in the comfort of one's home!!!! one suit fits 'em all!!!!!! this is innovation atributed to our company and we have all intentions of copy protecting and patenting the method. If you would like to participate in our law suit, please e-mail your entrance fee to bama@alabama.com your fee is fully non-refundable.
Brad Shaw: Does it count as being screwed by CEN if JoeE got you laid? Meni wanted me to ask.
Joe Elkin from CEN: Somebody has a bug up their ass;-} Anon Restricted.... Your a PUSSY;=} Please sue me for paying webmasters weekly! Please sue me for paying webmasters when we were shut down! Please sue me for ALL YOUR PERSONAL PROBLEMS;-}}} The only CEN fault is truecelebs is a lil' slow due to 500,000 uniques a day and we are currently adding 5 servers at CaveCreek to handle the front ends.... And the "other" celeb site that knocked ours off.... hats off to you for a day;-} Watch your back.....backend;-}}
RB from MaxCash writes: The sky is falling…Amex has dropped out of the game, Visa's gone mad and Master Card has sat on the fence for so long, they have splinters in their ass. Paysite owners are looking to sell. Sponsors are passing on chargebacks and credits and stand accused of pilfering signups. Others have ceased taking credit cards from high risk international areas. More than one has mentioned the "need" to lower payouts and these days the word "ratio" is spoken through gritted teeth. So I have only one question for you…
Ready to make more money? Good, because we want to give you more. Starting this Thursday, June 15th, Maximum Cash will begin paying Dialer Dollars. As you are aware, dialers are becoming a huge part of our industry. With the current, unstable state of credit card processing combined with our long standing policy to pay on EVERY signup, we have decided to be proactive during this period by upping our dialer exposure and passing the profits on to our clients. This means, potentially, you will be able to make cash off of a surfer whose card is declined AND it presents another opportunity to make money off of a surfer leaving a Max Cash site tour…This is found money!!!
Over the past month, we have been beta testing different dialers and the results have been astonishing. We're expecting the impact on the bottom line of ALL Max Cash members to be felt almost immediately. For one, the hold times during the test period have been extraordinary. Firstly, our dialer stays on the desktop, practically guaranteeing repeat business and more minutes. Additionally, our setup allows all international customers to choose ANY of our Max Cash sites (US dialer customers are directed to Adult Dreams). This means the customer can spend an hour looking at Kara's one day and another hour looking at Teen Steam the next. Given the wealth of content in all of our sites, we are certain that our hold times will be near the best in the business.
Mutt: I'm all for anything that makes the bastards pay more for porn specially the stuff with high production costs like live feeds and exclusive photography original flash movies etc. Here's my problem with the dialer.......... there's somebody besides the webmasters and sponsors taking way too much of the pie. RJB is going to split the pool of what the dialer company and the long distance companies leave for them. Reminds me of the days of third party processors charging 30%. If dialers are going to be a significant part of the adult biz it is best for all of us to have sponsors like RJB with their own dialer so RJB makes more money and their webmasters make more money. Anybody have a breakdown of how the revenue of a dialer call to these foreign countries are split up?
Visa/MC article KimmyKim pointed out: "So-called smart cards, widely used in some European countries, let people store personal financial data and money on the chip, unlike the magnetic stripe on the back of credit cards that enables merchants to authorize card purchases."
YNOT's Greg Geelan writes: I see two sides of the proverbial coin here. First off, if we had smart cards right now, then none of the credit card companies (assuming they all issued smart cards) could refuse to accept certain transactions, such as adult-related (i.e. porn) Internet purchases. Credit card companies would no longer be able to dictate what vendors they will do business with and which they won't. So, smart cards would be good for our industry, as we wouldn't have to mess with dialers, and would reinforce the consumers' right of choice.
On the other hand, do people really want their financial information stored on a credit card that could be lost or stolen? Also, as it is now, if your card gets lost or stolen, if you notify the credit card company immediately, you most likely won't have to pay a penny even if a thief takes your card and goes on a spending spree. With smart cards, would you lose all money stored in the chip on the card if the thief went on a spending spree?
Remember Dad On Father's Day
Dear Readers: The staff at l-keford.com wishes to remind everyone that this Sunday is Father's Day. It is the one day of the year set aside for the most influential man in your life. Our staff asks how will you honor your father this year? Another set of cheap golf balls? Another goofy coffee mug? Another ugly tie? Or will this be the year you give him what he really wants? Click here.
Luke - You bastard! Someone posted here that you wrote your own customer review for your book! Have you no bloody shame? lol
Livin' La Vida Lukey
Guest Editor Curious writes: Gentle Readers, I have just arrived back home to fair Modesto from my extended stay in Southern California. I spent a lot of time with my family and old friends, but most importantly, I completed my stint as Luke F-rd's "shabbas goy" ( a non-Jew who works for a Jew on high holidays ). I am now able to share with you some personal insights that I gained while working next to the enigma called, Luke F-rd.
My internship at l-keford.com began late Thursday night when I arrived at Luke's "slums of Beverly Hills" apartment. Really, to call it an "apartment" is a gross exaggeration. It is more like a casket with a shower attached. Clearly there was not enough room for me to stay in his disheveled den so he put me up in his "guest house." His "guest house" was his surplus Pacific Gas and Electric work van. It was very difficult for me to sleep in the van, not because it wasn't roomy, it was, but because of the frequent bumps and rattles created by the Mexicans trying to break into the van. No doubt they were expecting to liberate it of leaf blowers and other gardening equipment.
Friday morning finally came and Luke greeted me with a breakfast fit for a vegetarian inmate, an old HTML instruction book and my "To Do List." The day went as follows:
8:00 am Arise from the gardener van.
8:15 am Breakfast: lemon protein bar and soymilk.
8:30 am Go to Jamba Juice to get Luke a large strawberry smoothie.
9:15 am Tell summons server that a "Luke F-rd" no longer lives here.
9:30 am Tell collections agent that a "Luke F-rd" no longer lives here.
10:00 am Tell Lynne L-patin that a "Luke F-rd" no longer lives here.
10:15 am Tell Dr. and Mrs. Ford that their son, a "Luke F-rd," no longer lives here.
10:30 am Drop Luke off at the Museum of Tolerance so he can "pick up vulnerable Jewish chicks."
11:00 am Go to Larry Flynt building to rummage through Hustler's dumpster looking for discarded photos for posting on l-keford.com. Usable photos located = 0 , Larry Flynt's soiled diapers located = 3.
11:45 am Lunch: lemon protein bar and soymilk.
12:20 pm Receive call from Museum of Tolerance to pick up Luke F-rd. Luke ejected for necking with a 16 year old girl by the "Krystal Nacht" display.
1:00 pm An irritated Luke FINALLY shows me how the porn internet journalism game is really played. Go to geneross.com. Copy. Paste. Repeat. This is f---ing easy! Thank you, Gene Ross!
1:30 pm Go to l-keford.com's email. "Which letters should I post?", I ask. "All of 'em. They're all written by Chaim!", he snaps.
2:00 pm Midafternoon snack: half a lemon protein bar and soymilk.
2:15 pm Watch Luke's movie "What Women Want" four times! He fast forwards over the cool hard-core sex scenes and focuses only on his on camera "comedy" segments.
3:15 pm Fetch Luke's mail from PO box. Sort per Luke's instructions: If the envelope says: "FINAL NOTICE". Shred. If the return address says: "From the Law Offices of …" Shred. All packages. Submerge in bucket of water until the ticking stops.
4:00 pm Check geneross.com for late updates and cut / paste accordingly.
4:30 pm Luke checks www.amazon.com to see if his book, "A History of X," has cracked their top ten yet.
4:40 pm Luke checks eBay for the high bidder on his used underwear that is up for auction. High bidder: "Diana Roth" Bid Amount $75.00 !!!
5:00 pm Go to east Los Angeles to Javier's house to score Luke's Mexican Black Tar Heroin for tomorrow. He says it "Takes the edge off."
6:00 pm Dinner: CHOCOLATE protein bar and RICE milk!!!!
7:00 pm Relax by viewing selections from Luke's extensive library of bestiality videos.
8:00 pm Begin Talmudic studies.
8:05 pm End Talmudic studies.
8:30 pm Drive Luke to the "Spearmint Rhino" for meeting with his theological study group.
12:05 am I retrieve an exhausted Luke from the "Spearmint Rhino." It is now Saturday. Shuvuot has passed and I am now relieved of my duties as a "shabbas goy."
There you have it l-keford.com readers. A glimpse into the glamorous life of an internet porn journalist.
Ps I snapped a rare candid photo of Luke "receiving inspiration" at his computer keyboard. It speaks volumes about Luke. Enjoy!
John: Bull crap--that's a manipulated photo, I'm sure. Although I read somewhere (was it here?) that 3 out of 1000 guys can do it.
Curious responds: John, The photo is real. You sir are just frustrated, jealous and probably have a very sore neck too.
John: Curious, How the heck do you know I'm not one of the 3 out of 1,000? What if I sent you a photo, undoctored, of me lickin' my dick? How much would you pay me?
Curious responds: John, I would not pay two cents for a photo of you sucking your own dick as your photo has been floating around the web for months. See.
John: Curious, I'll tell you the problem with suckin' your own dick: You can't tongue the very very sensitive part--right under your cockhead, the part of your cock that is the equivalent of the female clit. You just can't tongue-lash it yourself, because your tongue is on the topside of your cockhead, not like if someone else is giving you head, facing you. Know what I mean? If you don't get it, look at the photo and you'll see what I mean. That's been my experience with sucking myself, anyway...
Lynne: There are some great videos out there of guys doing it, and because I worked on them, I know that watching them won't turn anyone homo. Buy them over the internet pretending to be a woman and fulfill two fantasies with one e-mail. Autofellatio is the clinical word for it, and "Holding Your Own" or "Their Own" is a great guys' get together flick. For the non-homophobes, www.pridesites.com/autofellatio is the self-proclaimed Auto-fellatio Kingdom.
Goddess writes: Great post, Curious, but the next time you stay with Luke, teach him the importance of running a virus scan!!
If all you're eating is protein bars, why the hell is Lynne sending you "FATBOY silk boxers," Luke?
Gossip
I hear Rob Black and Extreme Associates owe numerous people (including LP Duplication) money. The major distributors like GVA and IVD take 90 days plus to pay their bills. Even Morrison Distributing is late.
When I stopped by Astral Ocean on Tuesday, I saw numerous autographed pictures of President Clinton, Vice President Gore and Senator Ted Kennedy, specially autographed to Astral Ocean owner Toshi Gold and his wife, who are generous supporters of the Democratic Party. The autographs describe Toshi and Mrs Toshi as friends of the president.
I saw this at AIM Tuesday: > We are underfunded and understaffed - You run > the industry, we'll keep the industry running > - please consider donations. 818-981-5681.
Hank: Luke, this is TOO funny!. That's the exact same line given by the agencies that should have long ago shut down AIM, revoked licenses and perhaps even sent down indictments. Tell ya what, make the donations to the proper state agencies so they won't be so underfunded and understaffed and it'll take care of itself.
David Aaron Clark
Director and writer David Aaron Clark writes on RAME about Erotica LA and other matters: Wouldn't it be cool to be able to have your choice of the last six months of Evil Angel product, or whatever company your favorite is? But instead it's a couple of distributors, who are selling their absolute worst leftover comp crap -- you know, the s--- that qualifies as the crack of porn -- or more accurately, the fuzz on the carpet that the hapless addict shrugs and stuffs in his pipe anyway, because hey, maybe it's not fuzz. Or only 90 percent fuzz.
As for your assessment of the lack of glamour since it's hometown ... I'm sure that plays a part with some to many, but there are a heapin' helpin' of porn sluts and craphouse auteurs who would show up at a Del Taco opening if there wuz gonna be a degree of fan adulation -- and cameras! -- there.
Yeah, you're right, some manufacturers were insisting on charging 25-30 for their product, and I think 15-20 would be more appropriate -- a nice break, but still a healthy profit margin. Sure, alot of them sell to distributors at $5 a pop ... and that's one of the things that steering the industry toward an implosion, as profit margins versus fixed operating costs go careening against each other .... fans who don't know better might say "what operating costs," but anybody out there who has run their own business, including renting office space, insurance, payroll services, ad infinitum know it's not simple or cheap ...
I also agree any booths where there was a constant, ongoing attempt to block patrons from using their cameras in favor of buying a polaroid should be chastised ... though imagine the vendor's chagrin at realizing he has not only paid to rent space, to put up a booth, to pay actresses and employees, only to find that all those guys crowding in with their cameras are too cheap to even buy a tape to have the starlet sign in person ... and as to what collector's value that has, it's all what price you put on it, bunkie ... me, if I were still a fanboy I'd consider starting to mylar-bag a lot of the promotional slicks from the last ten years ... ready-made artifacts, produced in relative bulk but mostly discarded ... pretty eye-candy but easily damaged by fingerprints, folding or tearing ... why, it's the next step in kooky kollectables ....
And as for giving Erotica L.A. a chance to establish itself and let people know what it's about, the show's been around for three years, and taken place in other cities, as well. So there's no excuse for not shaping a more specific image or presenting a slate of events. Ron's had plenty of time to start expanding or at least fine-tuning, but just depends on the companies and vendors who are buying space to provide any entertainment, it seems.
To call Ed Powers on being a trick is disengenuious, especially if you're a consumer of pornography, which makes you a once-removed trick. The truth is, Redman, most of the time, we ALL pay for it. Maybe not cash. Maybe not on the spot. But we pay for it. You do, I do, Ed does, Patrick Riley does, Voyager7, all of us. It's the f---en law of nature. The quaint and warm thing about the porn industry is that it's fundamentally the only place where a guy can turn BEING a trick into a career. Now that's what goddamn America's all about.
Ramsey, the boring movies ALWAYS win the big awards. It's a law of physics. But I don't think Jonathan M.'s heart was in the HellX persona. It was more perhaps a case of Greg getting to be Johnny Bravo for the day because there was an empty suit and somebody needed to fill it. Zane product was in the creative pits since they had just ripped off John T. Bone and Max Hardcore to the point where they didn't have any house directors anymore, and since those guys had brought Zane its initial success with their groundbreaking, over-the-top surreal nastiness, they figured, hey, we'll find some hungry kid we can rip off to make some s--- just like that. And before the big awards, Jonathan was hungry.
Jade Marcella must NOT be overlooked. She's a fairy f--- princess, plain & simple! The Eurasian tinkerbell of the ass-to-mouth set!
Sierra Knight was/is a stripper from Seattle who came down to Porn Valley two or three times about a year and a half ago, did a handful of appearances (is also in an early Van Damage Extreme title, as well as John Bone's WINDSONG and WALL BANGERS), and then scooted back on up North, where it's safe except for the weather and the serial killers.
The last scene in John T. Bone's most recent feature, MAJOR SLUT, has several girls riding/being porked by an assortment of motorized dildo machines of various design, including one that comes up out of a chair, one that IS a chair, a freestanding one, a humanoid one, etc. The girls are: Kurious, Zoe, Ginger, Gina Rome, Deelicious.
SCREWED had brief runs at the Cinema Village in NYC and at an L.A. art theater. I don't believe there's been an official video release, though there are plenty of bootlegs floating around, and there was a soundtrack album! It uses Al Goldstein as the center of the porn universe, and is the result of following the finest of Jewish whiners around for a year and a half, therefore victimizing all those around him as they get dragged into the documentary's very constructed narrative (yours truly experiences one of the less dignified moments of his life on-screen, or at least the fallout thereof). And actually, the film is directed by Alex Crawford, the more thoughtful of the original NYU team that shot HATED and started the New York Underground Film Festival.
As it turned out, Crawford was breaking up with his girlfriend amid painful scenarios of betrayal at the time he edited the flick, so mirroring events in Al's life (and my life), as well as general bad karma produced by the eternal war over sex between the genders results in an elegantly smart, watchable but extreme downer of a look at porn and what effect it has on its producers and consumers, fans and opponents. It's a lot more brooding and deep than the geek-show thrill-a-minute feel of HATED.
Nothing makes a director or producer's heart sink quite as much as when the stunner you've cast shows up on set with a nice big old zit on her ass, or razor burn. The former should be disguised as best as possible with makeup, the latter is a tough one ... unfortunately, with the high mileage a lot of these asses see, they tend to suffer road rash.
Had a funny experience last year when introducing an adorable, 20-year-old talent to an AVN reporter. She had been discovered while escorting in Vegas, and saw herself that hooking to porn is the same continuum, so saw nothing wrong with saying she'd been a hooker. The producer who wanted to make her a "staaah," however, went into connipitions and said, "No, strike that," and told her she wanted to say that she was "the girl next door, who got into it because of sexual curiousity and the promise of riches."
And, uh, yes, Tal, just like the marijuana supporters who admit to smoking pot in interviewers, and others who prefer to be frank about their lives, I would (and have admitted) in interviews to having done illegal things.
Leah Santiago was a real little cutie, a carbon copy of her sister except for that she'd whelped and her breasts reflected it; she also struggled mightily with the condom issue and ended up retiring early on. Too bad; she was genuinely turned on even by doing bjs!
John Leslie did INDEED make some challenging work for Evil Angel -- FRESH MEAT: A GHOST STORY, which still INMO stands as one of the best porn features, ever, and DROP SEX. True, he's given up ambitious narratives at this point, which I think reflects more the state of the industry, which will pay no more -- and in fact, end up punishing -- a meticulously crafted, ambitiously conceived, story-driven porn, no matter if you're the famous John Leslie or Joe Schmuck off the street. Even Evil Angel has to deal with retailers who buy shallow and don't re-order because there's always a hundred new titles a week to buy instead -- and another hundred comps offered by pirates and bottom-feeders at five dollars a piece, often with handsome box cover art that grabs the typical porn consumer's eye just as easily as the more expensive packages from Art Attack (the top independent box cover house, BTW -- they do Evil, Elegant, Extreme, and a couple of the other biggies).
The only place for features to make their money back these days is on cable. And though there are more cable options than before, the providers still adhere to levels of censorship on the storytelling content (in regards to violence, implied violence, etc) that make trying to tell an effective, meaningful story that is anything BUT a Paul Thomas soap opera quite difficult. So, at this point in his career, having proved himself, why should John Leslie continue to bang his head against a wall to prove a point that nobody's paying attention to, anyway? Did Anthony Spinelli (god rest his soul) or any of the other masters continue to show the ambition and striving of their early days when confronted with today's marketplace?
Anyway, despite all this, the bar has risen in terms of technical quality in porn -- if you look at a lot of what Greg's done in the porn arena, he's certainly marked a lot of time, and turned in a lot of relatively mediocre product in his day (The Creasemaster's Wife, anyone? Deep Inside Centerfold Girls? The Shocking Truth?). There's a decent amount of cinematically influenced work being done by upstarts, such as Slain Wayne at Extreme (check out his camera work and editing on "Last Breath"), Kris Kramski, Michael Raven (at times), and yes, I'll say it, me, dammit (Sex Driver, Poison Candy, Aurora's Last Sin, etc, ad nauseum). Check out the new blood before simply bemoaning the passing of the last generation!
Um, in fact copyrights do expire, but more importantly, they also become invalid if the legal entity holding the copyright is dissolved without a suceeding entity to legally assert right of ownership. I don't know if everything Alpha Blue puts out falls under this loophole, but when they started out, it all did. Regardless, this is material you simply can't find elsewhere, so if indeed there are copyrights on some of the material being held by some unknowing lawyer or porn company somewhere, so what? As far as I know, there haven't been any wholesale occurence of copyright owners popping up to claim profits -- or to put out "authorized" versions. Viva Alpha Blue!
Ah, yes, all amateur proctocologists are familiar with the Cronenbergesque phenomenon of the prolapsed rectum, but what about the question of exactly how this wayward female cossack's rectum actually got wrecked? The legend I hear involves a shoot in which a serious amount of M&Ms was shoveled up her diarrhea duct and then not-so gently excavated with a garden hose that some blithe fool thought would make a good enema tube and turned on full blast. At least that's what I heard.
Although everybody sure does deserve to get the porn they want -- and boy, do I mean that! -- it always strikes me as a laff-riot when guys who obsess over seeing their fave porn sluts descend/rise to whatever outlandish act of sexual exploration and debasement a jaded porn director can think up, they start gagging, retching and calling for the witchhunt when the guys participate in any activity that involves sexual experimentation beyond that the viewer has attempted in his own, perhaps mostly vicarious sex-life. Tom Byron has always had the balls to try new things -- girls with strap-ons, she-males, having his salad tossed, what have you ... which makes him the owner of a much fuller, rich and varied sex life than any guy who considers a visit to the video store the equivalent of a date. I know it appears I'm falling back on the "nyah-nyah, you guy don't get laid like he does" defense, but what I'm saying is -- don't watch it if you don't wanna see it, but don't knock it 'till you've tried it. Byron is one of the few male performers who doesn't live by a neandrethal sort of double-standard, and I say more power to him for that.
I have no respect for prostitutes, pornographers, etc. Now avid pornography CONSUMERS who like to spend what leisure time they have left over when they finish jerking off posting to porn newsgroups, imagining that THEY'RE somehow more morally upright and/or socially acceptable because they only keep us pornographers, prostitutes, etc in business through their constant consumption of our work and images, THAT'S who I REALLY respect.
I agree that talking dirty is a wonderful art and skill that enhances porn -- and the sexual experience. And woe is me (and other directors) -- getting 80 percent of the current crop of actresses to do so becomes low comedy. Giving them a script isn't the answer, because they won't read it. Having them read a voiceover isn't the answer, because more often than not they can't read it without struggling through. Believe me, with a few golden exceptions -- and these are the girls I hire again and again -- you're lucky if they show up on time prepared to have the sex you've hired them to have. But such is the jizz biz ...
Luke Gets Mail
Gam writes Luke: You're a sick f---. Maybe you should find something important to write about dont you think? I mean writing all day long on your website about porn is pretty damn sick
Gam's AOL profiles reads: Member Name: tia Sex: Female Marital Status: single Occupation: student
Luke: What do you think of Holocaust scholars, who write all day about the Holocaust? Surely that is more sick? Should one only write about uplifting themes? Anyway, how did you find my site?
Gam: I found your site by looking on kingofallmedia.com they had a link to high pitched erics gangbang. Anyway keep up the umm good work.
Luke: Thanks, are you going to visit again? I am exposing this stuff so that authorities can better control what is going on.
Gam: I just never knew there was so much to write about when it came to porn but my god after looking at a bit of your site im definitely wrong Dont you ever just want to talk these girls out of what they are doing?
[LF: I discourage people from entering porn. I would not want anyone I cared about performing sex for money.]
Ill watch porn once in awhile but not something where guys are choking girls, or gang banging, or haha kabookying them this stuff should be illegal maybe dont you think?
[LF: I agree there should be legal limits set somewhere, and not just anything that consenting adults want to do is fine. I think pornography is one of the greatest moral threats to America and I'm doing everything I can to expose what's going on so the American people can take action.]
btw Its so sad this sweet little dynamite girl had a gang bang on her 21st birthday she looks so innocent
Anyway im sorry for waisting your time with this ok take care you seem very dedicated to your work and if we all had that this world would be a better place.
Brad responds to Gam and Luke: While not all senarios in porno are men's sex fantasies, porno is the next best thing to real life sex. Men want to f--- as many beautiful women as possible. Art imitates life. Accept it and deal with it. And people wonder why the divorce rate is so high.
And Luke. Women have always been payed for sex. And it continues today. You don't have to be a woman working in adult entertainment to sell your body. Almost every good looking woman in the world is using her looks and sexuality as a bargaining tool to get something she wants. Any guy who wants a hottie must invest in the nicest car he can afford, nice condo/house,and buy her clothes and s---. How different is this really from hiring a hooker, stripper, model? People whore themselves for much worse things than sex or variations of it. Grow up and listen to the Europeans who claim Americans live in the dark ages when it comes to sex.
La Fiesto Loca
Rumdar: Luke... No one would deny it has been a bad year for Puerto Rico. Number one embarrassment would be Ricky Martin allegedly living La Vida Loca in conjunction with La Vida Homo (hey, that name doesn't sound Rican)...Next up to ad insult to injury was Booty-rific Jennifer Lopez getting busted with Amero Afro Gansta Puff Daddy(or was it Dr. Dre? Or Ice T??)....There were more than a couple Hispanic lads I know of who were personally chagrined to learn their Diva was getting drilled in her voicebox and booty by Daddy's Black Momba. A Salena she ain't. And now the Fiesta Fiasco in Central Park...
Your contributor yesterday attempted to lay guilt for all this on the stooped shoulders of your guru Chaim Amalek. Instead of defending himself in good l-keford.com fashion (f--- you, I will say what I want). Amalek, good progressive Heb that he is, hid behind his alleged liberal credentials (I'm not a bigot, Gee, I'm voting for Hillary). O.K. Chaim, I'll speak up for you.
Yesterday's Puerto Rican guy asked the question "what does a Puerto Rican look like"...Well buddy, you may resemble Dolph Lundgren but if anyone cares to find out what the alleged perpetrators resemble check out today's New York Post online www.nypost.com. Scary looking dudes all. Not a Robert Redford clone among them. The kind of fellows one would avoid eye contact with in the subway if they had imbibed one sangria to many, which seemed to be the case with many revelers at the parade.
You offer a lame excuse that those who were arrested didn't have Hispanic last names (refer to Ricky Martin) No matter. It was a Puerto Rican day parade. If non Ricans (Costa Ricans?) or Poles, or Serbs, or whoever, were acting out of line shouldn't right minded Puerto Ricans have interceded? After all, that is what being a Spanish gentleman is all about. Wouldn't you stop obnoxious Eskimos from acting up at your private party?
In closing I would like to advise yesterday's Puerto Rican to open a bag of salted plantain chips, crack open a coconut soda and relax. Anglos (some of us look like Cheech Marin) have been taking s--- for years. We are used to it. Write it off to a bad day and try again next time. Whatever though, do not lay guilt at the swollen feet of poor Chaim Amalek. He is Jewish, he has tons of guilt he is carrying around on his corpulent frame already. He is also Luke's Holy Man. Should he suffer and die from your accusations the column would surely never be the same. This son of Juda is many things (fat, obnoxious, humorous, intelligent, insightful, impotent?) but a bigot? I believe not. And if he is who gives a s---? Not I. From East of the Pecos....rum
Luke F-rd Live
My second radio show was inauspicious as we worked on technical bugs.
Marc Putative writes: in the early days of online broadcasting (1997), i was lured into doing a daily morning show; two hours a day, an easy $300/wk. right? i was assured that the site was getting lotsa traffic, and even got an item in one of the big papers that i figured would make the prospect irresistible. but when i got the ratings for the first day's efforts, and found out that all of 7 people had logged onto the site (that doesn't even mean they listened, either), i was too dismayed. i lasted all of three days at the gig, compounded by being in a miserable environment. i still see little evidence that internet radio can garner any kind of notable audience, even though the prospect is at least more appealing than all those endless-download sub-student films that have infested the web. check out comedyworld.com for its pseudo-stern fare that might stand half a chance of generating an audience. can't you pitch them a show on the grounds of being innately inherent satire? i'd be happy to linger around the chat room with my moronic little barbs. (i'd venture my trip to PST was the most entertaining thing tonight.)
