Wednesday, June 14th, 2000
Criminal Charges Dropped Against Craig Vasiloff
Canadian police have dropped criminal theft charges against my former boss Craig Vasiloff. Police told FANtastic, my sponser, to go after Craig in civil court, if they must. Vasiloff parted ways from FANtastic in March. When he did so, he took some of their property with him, which he then returned in full.
I hear 4 major companies have been trying to lure Serenity away from Wicked with major contract offers $$$$.
Mr Marcus writes on MrMarcus.com: From what I know about Jake [Steed], he's alright. He took on alot, so it comes with the territory. Stress, but he's got help if he needs it. No doubt. Casting Couch...been on the prowl. I've actually got some of the girls you've mentioned on deck. Stephanie would be nice, the brunette thang that works for me. I'm thinking about doing a statewide tour with the couch. Just put the couch on a truck and go state to state, f---in. LOL...who knows it just might be the most famous couch in the world or at least in Los Angeles. Mi Vida Loca!!!
Pat Riley writes on RAME: >Beyond the competance of most directors yes, but whats so costly >about shooting someone walking around, or even (gasp) standing up?
It's not that it's *SO* costly but that everything in porn that isn't of an essential nature--i.e. essential to the copulation part--gets the toss. Videoing the girl standing or walking around adds a few minutes to the shooting time--and maybe more than a few if you want her to actually do something--so the director simply says "Screw it" and starts with her naked on the pool chair or bed. They "saved" those few minutes.
Of course there are ones such as the Pick Up lines and Peeping Tom
series and Dane Productions movies where they make an effort to video
the girl when she's not actually involved in copulation. Personally
I'd like to see them undress too but that would probably be asking too
much
Mike South: My next release Blowgirls 2 will ONLY be avaiable from my website.
Max Hardcore Is Doing It All Wrong
Pat Riley writes on RAME: Watching Max do his usual frenzied act with Layla Jade the other day and thinking about Stan Stewart's comments regarding Christy Canyon prompted the sudden realization of what's wrong with Max. It's not really that he uses the females badly--abuses them and inflicts pain on them--it's that he does it with the wrong females.
Look at the cast of his movies: Layla, for example. She looks like a coke whore and her eyes have that dead look characteristic of girls (people really) who have suffered much abuse in their lives. Not just sexual although in her case I wouldn't be surprised. However, she's young and lithe and petite--childlike. The ideal female. And this is the type Max specializes in. Melody Love, Barbie Angel, Alex Dane, Amythiest, Zoe May, Gia Marie, Leanni Lei... just taking a few from his past movies. Even when they're old, like Zarina, they're not stridently hard, and the Europeans are just rubber love dolls--no personality whatsoever. In other words Max beats up women/girls who can't fight back, a typical coward's attitude.
Max needs to change, to do the world a public service and teach the feminists about the power of the dick. But because he's physically weak (or looks it) he needs to bring in some muscle so I suggest he form the Nasty Brothers (Ed's use of this name was just silly) consisting of the bad boys of porn: Kahn Tusion for his directorial skills, TT Boy for his choke f---ing, Vince Voyeur for his contemptuous attitude, and the muscle: Lexington Steel, Jack Hammer when and if he finally gets out of jail, Jack Napier with appropriate spinal adjustment, Tony Everready for the really hard in-fighting...ah, hell, let's just round them up in South Central L.A.
As a first movie, I suggest Max flies to NYC and when Hillary loses her senatorial bid, he can offer her a part in his new feminist movie: "Broads Who Need To Learn Their Place In Life". Perhaps Monica might like to be a fluffer--nah, she's probably under option to Wild Bill (Big Top) for his next farm animals movie. He goes through his normal, "You little whore", "You're just a cunt", "You only exist to give men pleasure" routines while analing her with minimal clothing removal so as not to show too much cellulite. For a finale he has Jim Powers (don't forget the credit: "Courtesy of Notorious Productions") bring in a dozen or so Bukkake boys to give her a drenching. Of course everyone might have a little trouble getting a security clearance. Hey, I'd even buy that movie!
Continuing with his more normal series he should start to use the hard women of porn. #1 might be Christy Canyon, Veronica Hart (in her comeback), and Ashlyn Gere. This is where he needs help from the Nasty Brothers. Perhaps Robert Black (if his dick still works) might like to do a cameo with Veronica as I believe they're the best of buddies. But the mainstay has to be the black guys. With Max shouting obscenities from the sidelines, Lexington can ram his huge dick up Christy's asshole while TT holds her nose and thrusts down her throat until she chokes. After they splatter her face with cum, Max washes it off with a heavy stream of recycled Bud for the Euro version. They leave her lying in a pool of scuz while the boys go off and have a beer.
For Ashlyn we change the players (don't want them to get over-exposed) but the idea remains the same. Maybe Chessie could lend Rover for the web version? Maybe three women a tape might be too much, after all, unlike the current young girls, you're likely to have some resistance from this lot, and you want to emphasize the degredation--get the full flavor so to speak. Perhaps two would be better. Vince could advise on the contempt aspect like when the guys start talking about last night's game while DP'ing the bitch or when they wipe off their dicks first before throwing the cum-soaked rag to the used trash on the floor.
Other candidates for the Nasty Brothers (my most hated list) could be: Nina Hartley. Let her give her "Sexual empowerment of women" speech and then have Max simply bend her over and ram his dick up her asshole while she continues to babble on about "Loving, caring sex." Celeste. She's probably too fat now to even pass for normal but still Max could give her the old college try. Maybe some guest stud like Ron Jeremy would be appropriate. He'll screw anything.
And let's not forget the stuck up princesses: Jenna Jameson: "Here, act your way off this dick, slut!"
Serenity Wilde: No condom, and definitely needs a really big black dick. Maybe Jack Napier or someone old and used like Field Marshall Bradley. Black guys like big butts, right?
Janine: Here's a chance for a guest appearance by the Anabolic gang bang boys beefed up with a few recent graduates from Soledad.
But there's one I'm having trouble casting: Vanessa del Rio. Anything Max is capable of she'd probably love. This wouldn't do at all. The point is pure pain and degradation and how can you possibly degrade Vanessa? Hmmm, maybe the readership has some suggestions. ... And you think I'm joking...
Hustler's New Porn Kicks Ass
Peter Ramezap writes on RAME: I have watched Barely Legal 3 and Hustler XXX 1 so far from Hustler and I must say I have been impressed. Barely Legal 3 features 5 or 6 very fresh face porn chicks from which I only recognized Vivianne. All the girls are hot and have very nice natural bodies and believe it or not they are all Americans. Too bad only one of them takes it up the ass, otherwise this movie would've been a perfect ten. Hustler XXX is a new line produced in association with Private's Woodman, put Larry Flint and Woodman behind production of a film and you got this smoking anal kick ass film. All girls are hot, young and new with exception of Eva Roberts who by the way gets f---ed in the ass.
Reb Amalek Reviews Luke's Performance On Love Bytes
Chaim Amalek writes: This is a private message:
1. streaming audio really sucks, even with a cable modem. Real, tune-it-in and adjust-the-antenna radio, AM or FM, beats RealAudio every time. There must be some radio station you could talk your way onto as host, even if it is for free to start. Gotta be.
2. You stumbled twice: first, when justifying your republication of antisemitic material from the internet. Keep it up, but be better prepared for such questions. You were caught off guard there. Second, someone asked you to recommend some video for showing to guests, I think. You gave an answer that will always give the masses (of which I am one atomic component) the willies, no matter how much our Jewish and Homosexual Masters define deviancy down. You gotta burn those videos Luke. If watching regular porn is bad for the soul, God knows what watching that crap does, and this is not sarcasm!
3. You did a decent enough job of explaining yourself and your values to that secular jew Berkowitz.
4. What do people like "Dominoe" get paid for that sort of work? And - and this is a serious question, Luke -- as far as you can tell, are women who agree to being treated like that clearly mentally ill? Do they cut themselves up with razors or swallow Drano?
5. I really think that Cecil guy raised an interesting set of moral questions. Is sodomy by proxy contrary to the Torah? Do you think he is a babe magnet, or what? Maybe Kendra will want to marry him?
Luke: Oh yeah, what is my justification for publishing Pierce and co?
Chaim: 1. If talking to a jew, tell him that it is important for jews to know that not everyone wishes them well.
2. If talking to a goy, because bad heretical ideas take on a life of their own if not challenged, and the only way to challenge them is to expose them to the cold analytical skills of the mainstream by publishing them. Pretending that they are not out there will NOT make them go away.
3. If talking to a white guy, 'cause it's fun. (Just kidding!)
Luke: Thank you for listening to me, it was a real service given how real audio etc sucks. You've been a good friend to me. Curious and I had lunch Monday and we agreed that you are the KING!
Chaim: Thanks, but you still have not pimped for me. And where are all the worshipful hot biologically viable chicks who read your web site? When do they see the obvious, and drop to their knees to worship me? [DO NOT PRINT THIS!] (By the way, after watching "American Pimp" I rented "The Mack". No one who has seen both of these films can deny that Hollywood culture affects individuals.)
Cecil (cecil_seacil@yahoo.com) aka Highpitched Eric writes: "I am so depressed. I humiliate myself by offering my love to a woman sight unseen, and not one biologically viable woman answers my call for love. Luke, you are a moral man, a man of God who understands the bind I am in. Don't you know even one virtuous woman in porn who would really dig a man of my condition and marry me? How about that Czeck woman? Is she up for some of my take-out sex? Remember, everything she finds there, she gets to keep."
Dynamite Gangbang
Donedone writes: I feel terrible that Dynamite [who'll earn about $5000] is banging High Pitched Eric. For those that listen to the Stern show, they know that he is extremely gay (hes all about guys), and that his gums just started bleeding while he was on the show one day. They bled for no reason, they just started bleeding. Can you imagine finishing off your first gang bang on your 21st birthday with a gum bleeder. What happened to drinking till you puked? Now its gang banging? Now if there was a dalmation at the end of the gang bang, that would make it different.....
Dave Cummings, who participated in the gangbang, writes: In case you need a name for the porn actress photos you took today (the ones of her and I "misbehaving" at the bar), she's Kristen Kane---I "worked" with her a couple of week's ago in "Screw MY Wife, Please, Vol 14" from Wildlife Productions ( www.wildlifexxx.com ). She's a super-nice person! Dave www.davecummings.com
P.S. Ask Rob which guy did a second cum shot 15 minutes after his first one (as "insurance" in case another one is needed to make the 21 money shots in celebration of Dynamite's 21st birthday)!
Ben writes: Hi Luke, I came across Dynamite doing a gangbang for her 21st brithday. Luke! I just about tossed my dinner! Where in the Hell did they get that lot from?Did the bar close early? Those people involved in that shoot,have they gone completely MAD? The stock in TJC (Amy) went from a SELL to a BUY, She maybe right! PORN will f--- up a guys mind. I know if you seen pictures of that gangbang,say 3 times a day, Jenny would be out of business. Howard must be on the floor laughing,when he seen those pictures. Im not even going to ask how manny times Dynamite had a orgasm! I know that answer! ( 0 ) In fact she may never have one for the next week or so.
Key members of my media porn tour Tuesday cancelled. We will do it another day.
So I went on my own porn tour Tuesday, beginning with the Family Medical Clinic at 12629 Riverside Dr in North Hollywood. 818-487-1987.
They offer free tubal ligations and vasectomys, STD screening, pregnancy tests and treatment for menstrual disorders and infertility.
Cezar Cazares, the office manger told me: "They do have to fill out a form [for these free services paid for by the state of California's Health Department]... There are some income qualifications but we can't do a check on their income. They have to tell us how much they make. We have to take their word for it. We can't check IDs. We don't ask for pay stubbs or letters from their employers or even tax forms. So anything they tell us, we have to accept.
"When the stars come in, when they check into the front office, rather than have them sit with the general public, we'll bring them on back. So they don't have to hang out in the waiting room and get interrogated and feel uncomfortable."
Luke: "Can you tell who they are when they walk in?"
Dr Lepley: "You can tell who they are."
Cezar: "Most of the time... Yesterday I had a couple of them come in and I just had them come on back. They appreciated that. Since we've been tending to the adult industry, we've been able to tell who works in it... The girls at the front desk are trained to screen for them and bring them right on back... They don't have to fill out any paperwork [in the reception area]."
I then stopped by AIM (Adult Industry Medicine. 818-981-5681) which is run by Sharon Mitchell. I ran into office assistant Jacklyn and Maggie Knowles, who operate's AIM's website.
I found some flyers:
URGENT NOTICE!!
The county of Los ANgeles has declared an outbreak of syphilis in Los Angeles County. AIM...has been designated a tsting site by the Los Angeles County Health Department. Free syhpilis testing at AIM begins immediately and through June 24th. The tests are free...
AIM also offers free chlamydia and gonorrhea screening (by urine test).
We are underfunded and understaffed - You run the industry, we'll keep the industry running - please consider donations.
Luke: I also found a flyer for the "Sex by Sex Workers" Film & Video Festival in Portland, Oregon, October 20, 2000. For more info, mlucas@teleport.com.
I ran into Dave Cummings at AIM and who tells me about his recent scene with Dynamite.
Dave: "She comes out to the pool and starts playing with herself. I make believe that I am sound asleep. She looks into the camera and says, I'm horny. It's too bad that guy is so old. But I hear that guys get hardons when they're sleeping. I wonder if that old guy can? She comes over and starts touching me. She gives me head. I still look like I am sleeping. Then the camera pans up. I wink at it and smile and we go on... Then we did a second scene after that. She showed me all around Realpornworld.com. It's in Sex Fun 4 from Dave Cummings Productions."
Maggie: AIM is doing surveys for people with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
LF: which can be provoked by a good anal session with Max Hardcore.
From AIM I drove West on the 101 Freeway to Chatsworth and stopped by Toshi Gold's Astral Ocean to see my friend, sales manager Lysa Stone.
Lysa: "We started out our duplication with just a few machines and now we're full on. We can duplicate about 500 an hour. We use the BASF high quality grade A tape. And I've been told by most distributors that we have the lowest rate of defectives in the country. I take it personally when people call me and say your tapes are defective."
Lysa takes me through the Astral Ocean facilities (about 40 employees) and then we head next door to Hotelbabes.com. It's a house filled with attractive women in various states of undress and sexual fever. Hotelbabes.com offers a workout room, a shower room, two bedrooms...
We meet Zdena, a tall blonde beauty from the Czech Republic who I decide to name Czech Jewish Girl, even if she's not Jewish.
Chaim: That's not honest! Seriously, since the previous one proved to be a fraud (likely an e-trannie), you should not mislead your readers into thinking that women who are both jewish and sexually desirable (and Czech) are writing to your web site. Such conduct is contrary to Torah.
Please send photos of all these women you're dating so that I can better advise you. Unless they are not pleasing to the eye, in which case I am not interested. And please, stop publishing anything from sexually undesirable women about sexuality or "relationships" or their pets.
Lysa: We get all the cutest girls. They come to us through friends. We'll get one cute girl and she'll ask four or five of her friends. You saw it's a nice working environment. They can bring their boyfriends in. It's live 24 hours a day.
Toshi Gold also owns Netbroadcastservices.com for a mainstream market. Lysa shows me its full business plan. There's a special section for marketing to religious organizations.
Lysa: "We're doing a shul in Los Angeles. We'll do their live streaming. We'll have pay-per-view live services over the web.
I read from the business plan: "Any religious organization can broadcast a feed from their house of worship in real time. This media stream can gurantee a large congregation and help with the infirm or shutins that are unable to make it to their religious institutions.
"Highest example: The Vatican from Rome could broadcast their Mass from Rome on a pay-per-view donation basis to millions of Catholics..."
Lysa shows me a tantric site Astrol Ocean operates, DivinePleasure.com.
Lysa: "It's like Hotelbabes.com but with a different bent. It's all tantric and goddesses and kama sutra and they get very offended when you try to lump them in with hardcore. They take their spiritual sexuality so seriously."
I drive to the former offices of Sin City, which Rob Spallone is now renting for his Realpornworld.com operation. Tuesday is Dynamite's 21st birthday, and she's banging 21 guys in front of her hubby Gary to celebrate. Guy number 21 is Eric, the high pitched guy from the Howard Stern show who'll be losing his virginity.
I meet Twigget, who stands about three feet tall. She's doing a scene for Ron Sullivan with Tony, a black guy from Arizona with an 18" inch dick.
Twigget: "I'm not a midget, I'm a dwarf. My height is stunted. My bones don't get enough nutrients."
Rob Spallone: "I'm a little guy and you're a little girl. I'm a dwarf."
Twigget: "No you're not. Do you have scars all over your legs? Did you have to get your legs fixed? I had Rickets."
Rob: "Did you know that the guy she's f---ing today, his dick is bigger than her. I know a racehorse. His dick is bigger than a racehorse. Keep your mouth open, I want to see the tip of his dick."
Twigget: "Oh, you're sick. You are like one of those mobster guys."
Luke: "Rob, do you have ties to organized crime?"
Rob: "Do you want a picture with Twigget? Get Eric. Isn't she adorable? Look at her eyes."
Luke: "Please take one of the three of us."
I sit between Twigget and Eric.
Rob: "Put your hand on her tit."
Luke: "No."
Rob: "Put it on her little box."
Twigget: "On my little box? That box right there.
"You can put it on my ass."
Rob: "Eric, I want a smile. Luke F-rd is a very famous guy in the porno business. He has a famous book."
Twigget to Luke: "You're in the porno business and you're that much of a gentleman? They usually don't go together."
Dynamite is finishing her first man of the day, Herschel Savage. Rob calls VCA owner Russ Hampshire to see where he wants the pop shot. VCA has insisted on no facials and condoms only for the past two years but today Russ tells Rob to go ahead with the facials. The Dynamite gangbang will be released by VCA Xplicit.
Mickey Ray and Damien Michaels had a fight last Friday. About 18 months ago, Damien wrote Mickey Ray a bad check. So Mickey Ray held back the still photos until he was paid. Then angry words were exchanged, leading to the fight.
Mickey Ray appeared prominently in the E! Channel special on Savannah. He shot nude layouts of her as well as her first movie, a lesbian scene for VCA.
Mickey remembers taking Savannah to the Free Speech "Night of the Stars" dinner in 1991.
MR: "Within 30 minutes she was in the bathroom with Sam Kinison. He had drugs. She comes up to me and says, Do you mind if I go home with Sam Kinison? She lived with me at the time. She didn't want to do porn at the time.
"Then I went to Hawaii and she met Jim South and she was gone after that. Perry Ross called me up. Perry Ross was a piece of s---. He called me up to break my legs and about two months later he was dead of a heroin overdose, with a needle in the anus. Suspicious circumstances.
"So Raquel and her boyfriend Brad [now her husband] leave in their limo. They start making out. They look over at me and say, do you want to join in? So we have this threeway. Then the limo driver finally pulls up to where we lived. I came tumbling out the door. We went upstairs and we f---ed her [Raquel Darrian] all the night. It was the best. Because Savannah was a piss poor f---."
Mickey Ray and his buddy Chuck Martino plan to fly up to the Lifestyles Swingers Convention after the VSDA show next month in Las Vegas.
Last year Anna Malle's husband Hank Armstrong had sex with about 30 girls, remembers Mickey.
MR: "He'd be over in a corner. He's pounding this girl. And Anna
finally just lost it. "Hey, quit f---ing that girl." It was
funny. Everybody I met and stayed in contact with.... A lot of attractive
girls. I shot five scenes while I was there for Anna Malle's Wildlife
- Lifestyles. A lot of the girls didn't even want to get paid. They
just did it for fun."
Mickey Ray met Dynamite and her husband Gary at Deja Vu Showgirls in
Tampa Bay, Florida for the Nightmoves Awards in September of 1999.
MR: "Anna picked her up out of the bar."
Dynamite: "Gary said to go with you guys."
MR: "We took her back and we didn't shoot anything that night. It was the next night when we were in Dennis Hof's room. He owns the Bunny Ranch."
Dynamite: "I'm going back up to the Bunny Ranch June 20th to the 30th."
Mickey Ray: "Tampa was fun until Anna Malle and Hank got in a big fight."
Dynamite: "I caught the tailend of it. I was stuck in one of her T-shirts."
MR: "It sounded like the building was going to come down."
Rob: "The reason we left Tuxford St is that the Permit Office said we could not shoot there no more. And the Permit Office will not permit that location anymore. The neighbors complained."
The owner of the Tuxford St shooting house in Sunland has a different story. He's unaware of any problems with the Permit Office. He says the problems came from all the fights and loud partying going on while Rob ran the place.
Earl Slate and Kianna Bradley were hanging out Sunday. Earl's lost a lot of weight. Kianna's trying to go clean so she stayed for a couple of nights at Mickey Ray's house.
James DiGiorgio's daughter graduated from highschool Tuesday.
Rob Spallone talks on the phone to Kaitlyn Ashley, who lives back East. Kaitlyn's the first porn girl Rob met.
I talk to 18" Tony.
Luke: "How did you get discovered?"
Tony: "Just through friends. Just partying around. He heard of me. I like Mike [Esposito]. He's a gentleman. I enjoy it."
Luke: "Have people on the street recognized you from your videos?"
Tony: "No. But I prefer it that way. If I did it more often, I probably would be but because I am exclusive with Mike [Gentleman's Video]..."
I talk to Nena Whett, who I first met two years ago when she was entering videos.
Nena: "Someone wrote to you that I was crawling around on the floor at the Free Speech Coalition benefit at Bob Classy Lady? I was looking for a contact lens.
"Because of what that person wrote, I got into a little argument with my boyfriend [Ty from Zane Video]. We had a spat. I was intoxicated. What did they think I was looking for? A piece of crack. For the record, I no longer do drugs or drink. But back then I did. But since then I've quit drinking.
"I just completed my movie. It's called 'Nena Whett's Sexual Perversions.' It stars myself, Jennifer Lee, Luscious Girl, Nancy Vee. It's perverted. Peeing and rough sex. Lots of boy-girl. Anal. There's one scene where I get f---ed, tied up to an ab roller.
Rumdar writes: Luke... Nice Jewish Czech Girl is totally outrageous (but we all know that ,don't we?) Why don't you drop Kendra Jade and marry her before she is forever mired in the vile, evil, dehumanizing porn biz? You won't find quality like her standing around the cheese and stale cracker spread at the Heb Hops. And who is that fat greaseball with the gold chains and three toned shirt sitting at the desk behind her? Joey Buttafuoco? Sammy The Bull? Al Capone? I hope she doesn't have to f--- that shlunk to get a job...The Horror ...The Horror...
Nikki writes: Hi, I'm e-mailing you because I'm a very hot babe who loves porn and Howard Stern. I missed his show with Dynamite and today I just happened upon your site. I dance at a club in Detroit (Centerfold).Dynamite worked with us there, her DJ buddy Rockin Rob told us about her gangbang on her B-day. Much success to you baby girl!!! Luke, I have been searching for a site for Gerry Pike,I've only found his bio. I want pictures, e-mail any info. He is the hottest mother f---er in the world. He has a huge fan base here in Detroit . He has the best cock and balls in the business, not to mention body , hair, face, position and f--- ability.
Donedone: Excellent photos from the Dynamite gangbang. Amazing that two days after we are kicking it you are watching some hole get filled by 21 guys. How is that experience? I would love to get a rundown of how it is to be at a gangbang, how does it smell, what goes on? Most of the guys that you had pictures of are clowns. And high pitched Eric definitely has a Dick Do. You know where your belly sticks out more than your Dick Do. Correct me if Im wrong, but arent these staged gangbangs a way for lesser or B/C talent to get some notoriety? I see them all the time on your site, and the girls are always subpar. Finally, the picture of that girl Jade is amazing, she is very nice. The next picture of that girl Fawna is downright scary. OOFA.
Luke Gets Mail
John writes: If Leslie Glass had had cancers that extensive for that amount of time she would be dead. I saw her last week on Howard Stern show. Looked pretty lively to me.
Rumdar writes: Luke.. I read with some interest the interview Tom Byron did with Roger Pipe. I was so interested in fact that I clicked on over to Rog's site and skimmed the whole thing. Golly Luke. Did you read where Byron admits having sex with a transvestite? No wonder he finds your site somewhat boring. Not enough T.V.action. Then he goes on to claim that although he has had sex with transsexuals he is definitely not gay. I don't know what part of Texas he comes from but here in H-town. Anyway, If that reformed Christian Cecil (Chaim) is still looking to link up with an experienced porn chick you might want to introduce him to Tom Byron.
PS.. I am somewhat pissed that I didn't make Fred "The Jewish" Lawyer's Crackpot list. All work and no recognition. What does he have against Rumdar, X Peace Corps Volunteer?
Michael: Ginger did a video, "Between the Cheeks" back around mid-eighties when she was in her "prime," that had her taking on several black guys - a mini gang bang I guess. And she did "dp" a couple of 'em and I'm pretty sure had black cock in all three of her holes simultaneously during that vid. Strangely enough, I have been to several "appearances" or "signings" she's done, but never seen that video for sale amongst the several that she usually has with her.
Brad writes: l-keford gets sued for $50 Million. This seems like a big joke. Even if Cohen has a point what are his chances. He's not going to get $50 Million from Luke. Luke is maybe a 6 figure/year man(unless Luke has something else on the side we don't know about). I've heard this comment about you before Luke not checking out the facts before posting them. I would have to agree that if untrue statements posted as facts cause financial or other damage those responsible should be punished for it. Not sure who's in the wrong in this case but I just hope Luke you know what you are doing. I like that fact that you don't censor what people want to say especially since most who are being addressed "Can't handle the truth". Honesty and sincerety is what I think l-keford.com should be about.
Max: I read in your column today that "VCA is releasing uncut collector's edition DVDs" of both Misty Beethoven & Barbara Broadcast. You also mentioned that one of their spokesperson's whose name was Whit(half-wit?) said that "a few seconds will have to be cut here & there". Isn't the term "uncut collector's edition" an oxymoron here? I am sure that a true collector would want a "fully intact collector's edition".
Chaim: Luke, Chaim is not Cecil. Cecil, whoever he is, is not Chaim. For starters, I am neither Canadian by birth nor speak with a Canadian accent. And further speaking of imposters, what ever became of that Czech Chick? Another female wannabe, scared away from the boy's club that is LF.Com.
Luke: See the pictures above for a look at Czech Jewish Chick. I met her today at Hotelbabes.com in Chatsworth.
Nice Jewish Girl writes Lynne: You didn't yell at him enough for dumping that girl the way he did. I gave it to him big time though, was pissed and he said she was a friend of a reader! Like THAT excuses such nasty behaviour, and that he was bored with her!! No, he doesn't love us Lynne, and I don't really care if he does or not. He's sort of a friend. Sort of. And, I don't love him, that's for sure. I have moved on :) that's what I mean, you will to, you'll see. It'll happen, and I'm glad it did.
Lynne replies: Dear NJG: It's sorta early for Therapy Day, but i am forwarding this to him, because he probably doesn't understand the vehemence of your anger. Luke took two days off and then, instead of returning to work, went to breakfast with a stranger (Luke IS a lazy slut). He got bored, so he excused himself (with no tact whatsoever) and went back to work and e-mailed me three times. He's got a lawsuit on his mind (again) and was supposed to be working...
It's hard for me to yell at that beyond, "Luke, your lack of tact is a real problem and not something you'll overcome just by dating a girl you have a crush on..." but he knows... To you it may sound like total denial and excuses, but I assure you, he loves you and me and probably some other people. Mostly because of the attention we pay him -- he can't live without attention. But pushes people away with his behavior. Hence keeping loved ones at arms' length. He's learned what distance works best for him the way he is, and he keeps us there...he's going to have to relearn all that and it is going to take years.
He's the best friend he can be, given his emotional disability. And that's all he needs back from you is your friendship. When he does to me what he did to that girl, I am furious, because not only am I NOT the friend of a reader but I am a special friend. And I don't even get breakfast out of it. And he knows. His lack of impulse control is like someone else's nail biting or drug taking -- it's become a very bad habit. And it is better to practice until one gets it right than to avoid the situation altogether.
Media Quiz
Chaim Amalek writes: Pop Quiz! Part one: of the following five stories, taken from today's Drudge Report, one does not belong: TWO-FACED CAT DIES... VIDEOTAPED MAYHEM: Women molested; 'wolfpack' attacks in NYC's Central Park... BRITISH STUDENT TELLS OF PARK ATTACK... NY COPS IGNORED CENTRAL PARK SEX ATTACK VICTIM... Gang-related homicides have jumped dramatically in Los Angeles in the past three
Did you eliminate the two-headed cat story? Good for you! Indeed, it does not belong. Now for the harder question. What have the other stories in common? And to make it harder, I want you to pretend that you are on a national televised talk show discussing this question.
Now it is easy. Go on - that's right - white racism! Let us redouble our efforts to eradicate it. You may now return to your regular programming.
Rodger Jacobs writes: What's up with that? In respect to the Central Park attacks over the weekend, at least two of the victims were white (including an executive with a dot com company who was roller blading through the park) and two men who were apprehended and charged were black. Many of those attacking were said to be of Hispanic origin; in fact, the attacks occurred shortly after the annual Puerto Rican Day parade concluded. Chaim needs to do his homework.
Lynne writes: As an acknowledged fornicator, I have made peace with my sexual adventures. Some were glorious, some were stupid, and and I have no doubt there will be more.
In the context of formal spirituality, particularly the western triad of Judaism/Christianity/Islam, women's sexuality is perhaps the most powerful source of sin. It does not help my case with Luke F-rd, that a nontheist may be more committed to their own personal morality than a monotheist who receives one's morality from others by supernatural direction, that I have not now or ever been frigid or phobic towards sex. My biggest sin seems to be sexual desire -- all my other sins flow from the stress of having sexual desire despite my unmarried state, whether or not I involve myself in an actual physical act. Whether I am horny and therefore cranky and depressed, leading to stimulant use and self-abuse, or whether I actually go out and fornicate makes no difference in the eyes of most deities.
Now that Luke has been called upon the carpet for behaving badly toward women, I have an opportunity to regain some lost ground as Luke and I race neck and neck toward the finish line of Yom Kippur, when we shall confess our sins.
To pollute one's body is a sin. Smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol are bad, because they poison the temple of the flesh, which should be held in highest regard and in perfect fitness for the marital bed. Actually, my body has always been more like an amusement park than a temple. Be they moral weakness, psychological coping mechanism or physiological addiction, I shall call upon my inner strength and desire to be more morally fit than Luke and stop smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol a la Nancy Reagan. Believe it or not, I can say, "No!"
My other major "sin," as Luke would label it, is my disregard for the Sabbath, spirituality, deity, laws of My People, etc. When I spoke with Luke on last week's special Jewish holiday, he was dismayed to find me doing laundry and other housework and assigned me to read the biblical chapter of Deuteronomy.
It is always dangerous to ask me to read something, because I CAN read and am apt to find things in my reading that others have missed. Deuteronomy is both hysterical and historical, and I found much within it that pertains directly to our times:
LORD NIXES JEWESS FOR JOHN WAYNE BOBBIT
John Wayne Bobbit, a media celebrity because of and a porn star despite his severed penis, had his final appeal over his request for permission to convert to Judaism denied by the Lord earlier today. Moses, speaking to the assembled multitudes gathered beyond the Jordan in the land of Moab, quoted the Lord saying, "He whose testicles are crushed or whose male member is cut off shall not enter the Assembly of the Lord." Bobbitt wanted to become a Jew in order to marry oral sex queen and fellow media celebrity, Monica Lewinsky. (Deut. 23.1)
Chaim Amalek: I don't know if LA media is covering the Central Park story to the extent of showing the video that was made of the central part attacks, but the New York Media are showing it over and over again. All of the attackers appear to be Puerto Ricans or Negroes. Given that the parade, which brought large numbers of the males of these groups together and this year was held to honor the memory of a terrorist, why the f--- is anyone shocked? Is there no limit to the evil of white racism?
Miguel: Chaim Amalek's Central Park attack comments are simply the words of a bigot. What exacly do Puerto Ricans look like? I bet Chaim has not been anywhere near Puerto Rico. Did Chaim get a look a this year's census information and determined a composite of the "Puerto Rican look?" Puerto Ricans (please check this) come in all shapes, colors and sizes. You probably look more Puerto Rican than I do. A bunch of people near here look pretty much like Aussie Luke. So what is this comment of yours? What are Negroes? Are Chaim and Luke Jewios? As I recall, two people were arrested, neither one with a Hispanic name. Even if they were, what does this prove about anything? The National Media or the New York media (for those of you L.A. centric dudes, New York is a city on the other coast) is no more racist than Mr. Amalek, whose obvious ignorance he airs with frequency. Finally, I am not a fan of Dr. Albizu Campos. But calling him a terrorist and trying, (because Chaim, you thought you were being witty) to relate the Puerto Rican Parade's dedication to him with the attacks in Central Park is just plain dumb. Nothing, not one iota of Albizu Campos life relates him to acts of violence against women. Albizu's acts, right or wrong, were political, like those of many around the world who have fought for the independence of their nation.
Chaim: Some putative hispanic wrote to you. Here are my comments:
"Chaim Amalek's Central Park attack comments are simply the words of a bigot."
CA - I am no more of a bigot than the average human being, and possibly quite a bit less. Those who read this web site with care note that I have pretty harsh things to say about one and all, even Chaim Amalek. I certainly am less of a bigot than the hispanics who run Spanish language television, who insist that latin americans are just white folk with naturally black hair. And anyway, sometimes bigots are right.
"What exacly do Puerto Ricans look like? I bet Chaim has not been anywhere near Puerto Rico." [Other comments questioning my association of the Central Park thugs with Puerto Ricans.]
CA Well, it's like this. I live in New York City, and grew up in a big city in a neighborhood with a large Puerto Rican population. So at the very least, I know what the Puerto Rican flag looks like. And on the video of the assault I saw, lots of the males participating in the attacks were decked out in various regalia of the PR flag. Sure, they might have been closet Dominicans or Cubans or even Mexicans, but let's get real. (And if you are really PR, you know damn well what I am talking about.) Only ethnic Puerto Ricans dress in those colors.
Do Puerto Ricans come in all colors? Yes. I was not criticising the Puerto Rican race per se, since I know that there is no such thing, but rather the culture of the Puerto Rican louts who turn out year after year for the Puerto Rican Day Parade up 5th Avenue. This sort of crap occurs every year here, and seasoned New Yorkers know to give that parade a far wider berth than they would, for example, Israel Independence Day, the Macy's Parade or any of those Homo Pride Parades we have.
"Are Chaim and Luke Jewios?" CA I am as dark as midnight and as white as a Swedish leper's dandruff.
"As I recall, two people were arrested, neither one with a Hispanic name."
CA Valid point - but again, all those guys I saw on television were wearing PR colors, and on the day of the PR parade, so what is the average person to think?
"Even if they were, what does this prove about anything? The National Media or the New York media (for those of you L.A. centric dudes, New York is a city on the other coast) is no more racist than Mr. Amalek, whose obvious ignorance he airs with frequency."
CA Now who's being naive.
"Finally, I am not a fan of Dr. Albizu Campos. But calling him a terrorist and trying, (because Chaim, you thought you were being witty) to relate the Puerto Rican Parade's dedication to him with the attacks in Central Park is just plain dumb. Nothing, not one iota of Albizu Campos life relates him to acts of violence against women."
CA Yup, since we have yet to have a female president (Albizu plotted to assassinate the President of the United States), and since there were damn few women in congress at the time of various PR terrorist attacks, maybe that is so. Like I, as an American, am supposed to be moved by that sort of argument? It is a disgrace that this man was honored by the parade committee. "Albizu's acts, right or wrong, were political, like those of many around the world who have fought for the independence of their nation." CA Far more than religion, politics have been used as justification for slaughtering more human beings this century than have been killed in the name of God in all previous centuries. Yes, Albizu's acts were political. So too were Hitler's, Stalin's, Mao's, and Pol Pot's. Is that supposed to make one respect them more?
Like it or not, we are judged by what the least of our tribe do. That is true of PRs, Jews, Negroes, queers, irishmen (the second worst parade in NYC is St. Patrick's Day Parade), feminists, hookers, models, ugly people, cubans, germans, you name it. Like it or not, that so many PR males choose to act this way every year reflects very badly on the PR community as a whole, as I am sure you secretly agree. Peace.
John: I lived in NYC for about 13 years and Chaim Amalek is right. I have been around Central Park and Fifth Avenue on parade day and the Puerto Rican parade is really rowdy, easily the rowdiest parade in New York. The subways, especially, are filled with rowdy revelers. It's sort of like Puerto Ricans take over the city for the day. Remember how the columnist, Taki criticized the behavior of some Puerto Ricans during the parade two or three years ago? People called his remarks racist. I think he used the words "fat" and "ugly" though.