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Thursday, April 27, 2000

Email Luke

Tuesdays With Robbie

An old man, a young man, and life's greatest lesson.

Photos from my Tuesday at Rob Spallone's Realpornworld.com in Sunland, in the San Fernando Valley.

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    Rob Spallone in his office

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    Realpornworld.com

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    Julie

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    Julie

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    Julie

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    Roy Shaft, Jay Ashley

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    Jay Cee Christ

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    Jay Cee, Devon

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    Robert Brickman, son of Charlie Brickman at Cinderella

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    Jay Cee

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    Jay Cee

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    Jay Cee

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    Jay Cee

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    Jay Cee

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    Jay Cee

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    Roy Shaft


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    Devon
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    Jay Ashley

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    Shawn Ricks

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    Shawn Ricks

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    Shawn Ricks

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    Cinnamon

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    Cinammon

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    Cinnamon

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    Cinnamon

Arnold Potter, our resident white supremacist on l-keford.com, writes: "that cinnamon is an ugly stanky looking negro whore. please remove her photo immediately. My god she is ugly."

On a sunny smoggy Tuesday, around noon, I wandered over to Rob Spallone's shooting house and family fun park in Sunland.

I walk up his driveway listening to the squawking of chickens. It's spring, and the perfume of citrus blossoms overwhelms me as I walk into his office.

I overhear Rob talking on the phone about the unreliable girls who live at his house. The redhead Julie ran off for a few days with Jack Hammer.

Rob says that Jay Cee and Julie used to live in a homeless shelter. And they've brought over boyfriends from the shelter.

All Rob's girls are registered through worldmodeling.com, and Jim South wants to make sure that he gets his $60 agent's fee whenever the girls appear in a video. Rob agrees.

Rob sees me, gets of the phone, and explodes.

Rob: "What the f--- are you doing here, Luke, you cocksucker. I f---ing asked you to take something off your site [StreamMagic] and you f---ing emailed me, "Sorry Rob, I can't do it. The story is too big." If I tell you to take something off, you f---ing take something off, you cocksucker. Otherwise I will kick the s--- out of you, the next time I see you, you f---ing prick. How dare you? You make me look like a f---ing idiot. I f---ing tell you to take something off your site, you f---ing don't ask no questions. Just boom, off."

Luke: "I'm sorry but that would compromise my journalistic integrity."

Rob: "It wont compromise nothing. I created you and I tell you what to do, you prick. How dare you? When you need $10,000, you come to me. When someone is bothering you, you come to me. So when I ask you to take something off, you do it. A friend of mine asked me to get it taken off... Now get out of here until you learn to f---ing apologize."

Luke: "I'm sorry."

Rob calms down. He's been on Prozac the past two months.

A young woman, Jay Cee, about 18 years old, walks around topless. Rob puts her to scrubbing pots and pans.

A few minutes later, she walks naked into Rob's office, looking for scissors to cut her vaginal bush. Rob suggests the lawnmower and Jay Ashley suggests a lighter.

Though he has his Deep Sea Diving certificate (at a cost of $33,000), Ashley is sticking to porno so he can be close to his 15-month old son. The Ventura County DA is bothering him constantly about coughing up child support payments.

Jay talks a few times a week with his ex-wife Kaitlyn, who's working as a teacher in Tennessee and plans to marry in a year. She wants to return to LA to do one last farewell movie.

Porner: "Hardly anyone pays in cash anymore. Most companies use payroll companies, so it takes performers two weeks to get checks. It's a good idea for porners to get incorporated, get a business ID number, so they can get paid quicker."

Rob Spallone takes Julie, a 22 year-old redhead wearing a white T-shirt that says "Pornstar" and small bluejean shorts, and I out to lunch. We are served by an attractive young waittress from Brooklyn. Rob's from Queens. They yell at each other.

Luke: "How come you have not asked her to do movies?"

Rob: "I'm not like that. I'm not a scumbag. You know that 90% of the guys in the industry would ask her, but I won't..."

Rob discourages people from enterting porn.

Rob: "I only speak the truth."

Julie found Jim South through his ads looking for "figure models." Jim's pushed her to do videos but she thinks she only wants to do still photos. Jim sent her over to Rob who's given her a place to stay.

Later in the afternoon, I accidentally walk in on her diddling herself in front of a web camera and interacting with people over a microphone and chatboard.

For lunch, I order fruit salad and Rob and Julie order dishes with dead animals.

Julie: "Rob is a stand up guy."

Rob: "She's a very intelligent girl. She was in the Navy. We were having this conversation yesterday about how kids grow up to be f---ed up. They come from f---ed-up backgrounds.

"She's very lucky to come from a f---ed-up background and not be f---ed up."

Rob: "Doesn't she look like the typical girl next door? The typical college girl? Come over and help me with my homework type of girl? Wanna babysit my kids type of girl?"

Luke: "Yes. She doesn't belong in porn."

Rob to the waitress: "I want lots of dressing."

Waitress: "You didn't get a salad. You got a soup."

Luke to Julie: "What prompted you to explore the world of figure modeling?"

Rob: "Her mother was a figure model. Her father was a figure model. She's always wanted to be a nude model."

Julie: "No, I've always wanted to be a nude model but I knew that I was too short. I know I'm not Playboy material but maybe I'll get into Barely Legal. That would be cool to get into Playboy."

Luke: "Does it bother you that men might look at your pictures and gratify themselves?"

Julie: "I don't know."

Luke: "Rob, does it bother you that there are men looking at my internet site who look at pictures of you and gratify themselves?"

Rob: "It bothers me very much.

"Dynamite is f---ing 21 guys for us next week for her 21st birthday. And one of the Howard Stern listeners is going to be the 21st guy."

Luke: "It should be her husband Gary."

Rob: "He can be 22nd. The extra candle in the cake. Her husband happens to be a great guy. He's very helpful. Of course he's nuts for what he does."

Julie: "How much longer does Dynamite have before she's shot up? She's done 40 some videos already."

Rob: "They'll be around a while."

Luke: "Do your parents know about your new career?"

Julie: "No. They know I'm out here and with a website involved in porn."

Rob: "But they can go on and you don't do nothing wrong. You don't have sex on camera."

Julie: "Well, twice...]

Julie played around with a couple of guys at the shooting house. But she has not yet performed sex on videotape.

Rob: "If she likes you and you come around, she'll give you a little sex. If you ask nicely."

Julie: "Something like that."

Rob: "When did you first have sex?"

Julie, who's 22 years old: "When I was 12."

Rob: "A family member or stranger?"

Julie: "I knew the person but it was not a family member. He was 18.

"I was 19 when I did my first female. I was paid to do it."

Rob: "I'm glad I've got no daughters. I've got a lot of nieces though, seven."

Julie: "I've never been attracted to girls."

Rob: "Do you like black men?"

Julie: "No, not at all. No way."

Rob: "Are you prejudiced?"

Julie: "Maybe a little."

Rob: "I'm not."

Julie: "Only in that aspect. I'm friends with black people. I've just never been attracted in that way to black me or asian men."

Julie has had sex with about 50 people.

Rob: "When I was young and dating girls, I wanted to know how many they had slept with. I didn't want to be dating no f---ing garbage can. And these guys in this business who have wives and girlfriends, it's f---ing crazy."

Rob has been faithful to his wife for 15 years.

Rob: "I've never had sex for money. But I've paid, a lot. 'Helena [Rob's wife], please, I'll give you $200. I'll buy you a car.'"

Luke to Julie: "Do you think that patriarchal capitalism has pushed you into the sex industry?"

Julie: "I don't know. I'd wanted to try it once and my mother found out about it and said 'Get out of the house.'"

Julie entered the Navy after high school. Then she worked at a grocery store. Her mom encouraged her to become a bartender because you make more money.

Rob: "But it puts you around bad influences."

Julie: "I tried it... And my skirts got shorter and shorter."

Luke: "Did your tips get bigger and bigger?"

Julie: "Yeah... And my mother was dating a [female] stripper."

Luke: "Your mom goes both ways?"

Julie: "Yeah, whatever is convenient."

Luke: "What about your dad?"

Julie: "I've never met him."

Luke: "Does your mother work in the sex industry?"

Julie: "She's never worked a day in her life."

Rob: "She works in a penitentiary."

Julie: "True."

Rob: "She's under a guard's supervision in a penitentiary. She works for the state. They pay her about 40c a day."

Julie: "She goes in and out [of prison]. She worked one job as a teenager. That was it. She's a whore... She's not a streetwalker..."

Luke: "She [Julie] should get as far away from this industry as possible."

Rob: "She should run."

Julie: "That's what I am going to do. I am going to make some money [doing porn], and then run."

Luke: "Run now."

Rob: "It's a lot easier to run now, then to make the money and then run. Because once you've made the money, you wont want to run."

Luke: "And you'll just spend the money..."

Rob: "Just blast through it."

Luke: "Julie, has sex work changed your view of men?"

Julie: "Totally... No one paid attention to me in high school."

Rob: "You weren't the whore of the class? Banging the football team?"

Julie: "No. If I walked into the classroom, they wouldn't remember who I was... Except for my butt... I like attention.

"When I saw these dancers, they'd do anything for a dollar. I saw this one girl in a private room. I see her on her knees."

Rob: "With something in her mouth?"

Julie: "All I know is that she was on her knees..."

Rob: "Maybe she dropped something..."

Julie: "I said something to the manager..."

Rob: "She'd been living at the house for a few days before I noticed her. Then she came in one morning and started asking me questions about the business. I said you have to get an AIDS test. She said, 'Don't you have to get other kinds of tests as well?' No. They don't test for gonorrhea or whatever... She said, 'I'm going to have to talk to this Jim South. Maybe they should get tested all the time for everything.' I was trying to explain to her that that isn't how this business works. They don't give a f---."

Julie to Rob: "These girls in the business. Do you think less of them?"

Rob: "I don't think of them at all as persons. I think of them as animals.

"I'm scared to touch these girls. Any girl who would do this for a living, I'm afraid of."

Julie: "I haven't done it yet."

Rob: "I'm afraid of you for even thinking about doing it. My wife and my ex-girlfriends wouldn't even think of doing this. Anybody who'd let ten guys throw their loads on them, that's like being a garbage can. Would you eat out the garbage can?"

Julie: "No."

Rob: "I rest my case."

Luke to Julie: "Who was the first president of the United States?"

Julie: "Oh come on. George Washington."

Luke: "Who was president during the Civil War?"

Julie: "Umm, I want to say U.S. Grant but he was probably too late for that."

Luke: "It was Abraham Lincoln."

Julie: "Oh really?"

Rob to Julie: "Do you believe in God?"

Julie: "Yes."

Rob: "How can you believe in God and do this?"

Julie: "I'll ask for forgiveness.

"I don't get it. Rob doesn't approve of porn, yet he works in it. Why is what I might do any worse than what he does?"

Luke: "Because you're doing it in front of the camera."

Julie: "We're doing the same thing. We're trying to make money."

Luke: "Yeah, but you're having sex in front of the camera. You're exposing private stuff."

Later in the afternoon, I talk to a pornographer who's going to write a book for Christians entitled "How To Tell If Your Child Is A Satanist: Reclaiming American Youth in a New Millenium."

Porner: "If they wear dark clothes, listen to depressing music, or read the l-keford.com website, they're probably Satanists."

I talk to Devon Sapphire and his business partner Robert Brickman (DirtyRob.com), 28 years old, who're shooting "Deep Oral Ladies 4" for Cinderella, owned by Rob's dad Charlie.

Rob: "I've been around the busines the last ten years... In production, about a year. I've shot four videos.

"I shot three "Sexual Harassment" videos... It's a take on the sexual harassment aspect of business. People harassing their secretaries to get a piece of ass and things you can't do in real life. The girl will get harassed sexually and then it will turn into an anal scene. Then sometimes she gets fired and sometimes she keeps her job.

"I met Devon at the 1998 CES and we started shooting right after that."

Luke: "What was it like growing up around this industry?"

Rob: "It was interesting. My dad has been in the business since I was six years old. Everyone in the business has known me since I was a toddler..."

Luke: "How do you think growing up in the industry has affected you?"

Rob: "I couldn't tell. I have no way of gauging it against anything else. I'm not too messed up."

Luke: "Have you ever spent time in prison?"

Rob: "No."

I chat with Roy Shaft, who recently took two months off to battle bronchitis. He's been back in porn for two weeks.

I talk by phone to Devon's girlfriend Bunny Luv, who's recovering from a nose job. She mainly does her boy-girl scenes with Devon, who's appeared in about 14 scenes.

Devon: "I'm so happy at home, I'm not looking to go out. I just do it when I need money."

XXX: "Chuck Martino is like Tony Robbins. He hypnotizes you with his big white teeth and you open your wallet."

Rob tells me about the theory behind his "Private Moments" masturbation series.

Rob: "People watching the video feel that the woman is actually in their room, masturbating in front of them. That the girl is there with the guy, she's actually talking to him."

Rob shoots Jay Cee, who appears about 19 years old and lives at Realpornworld.com.

I run into Shawn Ricks sitting in Rob's office. He gives me a demo tape of a 20-minute sitcom he's pitching to Showtime - The Pornstar Comedian.

Shawn: "It's like "Seinfeld Meets Porn."

"For the past year, I've been recovering from my fall. I broke my heel bones, shattered them both, and I grew two inches... I fell 12 feet after helping these kids get their football down from a patio.

"For three months I couldn't walk... I had to crawl on my knees. On Ventura Blvd... I had to pull my wheelchair out... That time allowed me to create my own distribution. I wrote "Pornstar Comedian.""

Ricks operates a couple of websites, www.pornstarcomedian.com, and www.arthouseporno.com.

Luke: "And you're drug free now?"

Shawn: "Yes. I don't call drinking a beer or enjoying a beer a drug..."

Ricks has been with the same girlfriend, an executive at Playboy cable TV, for almost five years.

Herschel Savage works in an improv comedy troupe that performs above Jerry's Deli on Ventura Blvd on Mondays starting at 7:30 PM.

PST: 'This is Take Your Child To Work Day, Tell your kids to grab a Cum Mop and get on the Set.'

Do Hasidim Really Make Love Through A Hole In The Sheet?

Laura Logic writes: Hiya Luke! I was wondering if perhaps you can help me win a bet with my friends. It involves your two favorite subjects (Judaism and sex) so I figured you would be the perfect man to consult... Ok. Rumour has it that in the Hasidic Jewish tradition, man and wife are supposed to have sex (f---,screw, ball, make panty gravy etc) through a sheet with an entry sized hole for the man to slip his (circumsied) penis through. I was approached about this by a gentile friend of mine, and boy was I embarassed as to my ignorance of Kosher sex (after all, Im representing the chosen ones in my social circles)... so whats the deal? Is this true? Where does one get this coital cloth (besides Borough Park Brooklyn)? Do they have a variety of colors? Are they blessed by a rabbi? If you get remarried do you use the same sheet? Is there a special one for infidells? Converts? Inquiring minds want (and need) to know.

Help a sister make some cash the way she likes to (by proving her male friends wrong....) yours unconditionally, lauralogic

Luke: No, they do not. It is a myth. But religious Jews do exercise modesty even in the bedroom. They do not undress until they are ready to get into bed. They tend to make love at night and with the lights off. Many do not practice oral sex.

Mendal Slutsky's Coital Clothery

That Laura person is going to have to pay up. When I was a yingel, growing up on the lower east side, I got a job (and boy were jobs scarce back then!) at Mendal Slutsky's Coital Clothery on Rivington Street at Ludlow. Today, the place is a hip bodega. But back then, it specialized in shields to prevent jewish men from thinking impure thoughts while engaged in procreative acts. The most sought after models were not those made of cloth (some of which were gossamar thin), but one we called "The Door", essentially a heavy wooden plank covered with velvet on the side facing the man, and unadorned on the other side. And yes, it had a hole in the expected place. What ultimately killed the business was the issue of size. Yes, you guessed it. There was much internal conflict in our customers between the desire to demand a very large hole for a presumably large penis, and the demands of tznious, which required a very small hole. The very orthodox would insist on a hole so small that the only way they could have coitus was by inserting their limp member into the whole prior to arousal. You can well imaging the sort of problems that arose from this. After a few serious incidents, the Rebbe put a heckshur on the practice, and it died out.

Concerning "Goddess's" plea for help, I cannot help but picture her as a black man in a wig who towers over this South character. And, since she is "married", shouldn't her "man" be taking care of her? Be very careful there, Luke! Be VERY careful.

Reb Chaim Amalek (awaiting the call to Moshiachdum)

Galifrey@aol.com writes: Luke- As one genuinely proud to be Jewish, why hang with that self-hating pseudo intellectual snob Chaim Amalek, anyway? The guy clearly has nothing but contempt for the Jewish religion, and what's sadder, when he makes fun of it, he's not even funny (is there a graver Jewish sin then boorishness? If so, Chaim better find it). The guy writes a long discourse referring to Jews as "they", which as I needn't remind him, is one of the four questions at the Passover table, in reference to the "Wicked" son. (the son who calls Jews "they" instead of "we"). Luke, I'm curious if you could comment on your feelings towards Chaim in regards to how he views the Jewish religion. While I know you fear opinions more then anonymity, it would be nice to hear your comments.

Luke: I love Chaim Amalek. Chaim and I are so convinced of the superiority of the Jewish way of life, so exuberantly confident of its wisdom, that we can make fun of it. I find Chaim hilarious. He's wickedly wonderful and vicious. I enjoy a lot of self-hating Jewish humor, such as Philip Roth's "Pointnoy Complaint." All the while leading a seriously Jewish life.

There is nothing and no one towards whom I only have positive feelings. I love Judaism but I also hate it. I love God and also hate God. I hate porn and also love porn. Chaim expresses many things that I barely feel legitimate to print. In fact, "Chaim Amalek" is but an expression of my forbidden thoughts that I am too frightened to publish under the moniker "Luke F-rd."

Responsa For A Confused Age

Like all good Jews, Chaim Amalek and Luke F-rd were in a Modern Orthodox shul this morning praying to HaShem [God]. We were most surprised when the rabbi called a woman up to the bima [platform] to deliver the sermon. It was the first time that we had seen a woman deliver a sermon to an Orthodox congregation which routinely separates men and women and gives them different roles. The role of rabbi is not one to be filled by a woman in a traditional synagogue.

The appearance of this spunky sheila caused Amalek great consternation, though Luke has more tolerant views of such matters. While thinking through the implications of women entering into previously all-male territory, Chaim Amalek wrote the following, which, during kiddush after prayers, I handed out to all members of the congregation as fodder for the afternoon study session:

Good evening, Luke. The name of Nina Hartley comes up every now and then as a commendable sort of soul well worth emulating. Back in the eighties, this woman gave an interview with the Jewish magazine "Shmata", in which she conceded that:

1. she was of jewish descent;

2. she performed sexual acts on film for money, i.e., that she was a whore; and

3. that she was a communist (and, indeed, a red diaper baby).

Years ago she appeared on a panel on the old Phil Donahue Show, as part of a panel of "swingers," as they were then called. The only one of the above three facts that was revealed to the audience was that Hartley, like ALL of the other guests, was jewish. A striking coincidence that Donahue did not have the balls to comment on. He never let loose that she was a prostitute or a communist, although I am certain his research department must have apprised him of these grim facts. (By the way, before anybody wastes any keystrokes to flame me, perhaps you can ask her if I have mischaracterized her in any way here. My ancient jewish head is working off memory here.) It is bad enough that our mass media present the likes of this or that Hollywood star as a suitable role model for our youth. But a Communist Jewish whore as a role model? Even the New York/Hollywood mainline purveyors of the degenerate art of our age do not go that far.

Concerning one Mr. "Weissblott" who asks: "why does acknowledging a higher power meet with so much hostility amongst jews of a certain age and downtown disposition? what are all these people scared of, anyway?"

Here are some possible answers to mull over at your next meeting with these hairy-palmed, hook-nosed, bagel-eating so-called hipsters who everyone knows really are jewish no matter how they dress or how much rhinoplasty they may have had:

1. Such jews hate god because they fear that their ancestors may indeed have killed the Son of God.

2. Because their parents raised them that way.

3. Because they were raised in a fundamentally unpleasant religious tradition.

4. Because they are of bad seed.

5. Because they are arrogant.

6. Because they are liberal democrats (or whatever the hell you call such people in lands adjacent the arctic).

7. Because they hate their religion, and wish everyone else hated theirs as well (misery loves company).

8. Because they are communists, like Nina Hartley (the atheistic jewish pornographer communist).

9. Because they are bad people.

9. Because there is no god and they are smarter than everyone else, which is what they likely think anyway.

10. Because much of the AMERICAN jewish "religious" (actually, "communal" would be a better word) experience is repulsive.

OR maybe it is because jews are indeed the spawn of Satan, as the Black Hebrews and the Aryan Nations (the local, nazified version of the British Israelite movement) have it.

Another Responsa for a Confused Age, from:

Ha Goan [Great rabbi] Chaim Amalek, Melech Moshiach [King - Messiah]?

If you want to see a really depressing movie, go see "The Specialist". It is a documentary about the grand-uncle of the woman whose flag burning led to a land-mark case on that subject. 'Nuff said.

Luke: While Chaim and I were praying this morning, we took time out to study the January issue of The Prager Perspective. Dennis Prager writes under the headline "Men Need Men."

Prager writes that just as a man needs one good woman to marry, he needs the company of many good men. Unfortunately, in today's America, men are not allowed to be with other men. Thanks to a Democratic administration that wants the support of the feminist movement, and makes a totalitarian interpretation of Title IX of the Higher Education Act, there's a national move to gut male sports programs. My alma mater, UCLA, no longer has a men's swiming or diving team, which together earned the U.S. 16 Olympic Gold medals.

The all-male college dorm has been replaced with co-ed dorms and even co-ed bathrooms. The military has allowed in women, to the detriment of its efficiency, fight ability and morale. And service organizations like Kiwanis and the Rotary Club have been forced to allow in women.

So about the only places left for men to associate with men are gay bars and strip clubs. And l-keford.com, where no sheilas are allowed unless they're on their knees sucking a dick.

See Spot. See Spot Run.

Chaim Amalek writes: Before a jewish woman can be permitted into the holy inner sanctuary of the Torah, she should be deeply probed for any trace of menstrual blood by men of high moral standing in the community, men who are armed with suitable probes, rubber gloves, and blood sensitive paper.

I just checked out your Praeger web site. My suggestion is that you can it for one dedicated to David Geffen and all the other mighty jewish Hollywood Homosexuals. Might thrust your career into high gear! Possible names for the web site:

HollywoodHebrewHomos.edu
HoHeHo.org

And do not sound at all critical! Make it appear that you are some timid little gay jew-boy who finds much that is admirable in these Juden.

Chaim Amalek (career counselor)

Luke: Can't we publish an email address for you so the goyim can write in to you with their halakhic questions and you can provide career advice?

Chaim: No can do. I am afraid that I have seen enough to have a pretty good understanding of the thought processes of the wankers who float your web site to know that I would not find that at all useful. (Especially those guys who get all hot and bothered by what this or that pornet has said or done. Or, worse, these endless recitations of XXXX's problems with drugs or boyfriends or the law etc. Dealing with that crap brings Alzheimer's disease that much closer.) I am willing to have you forward queries from sexually desirable women of good breeding stock (which excludes the transgendered), but we already know that no such women visit your web site. Besides, I am really you, am I not? Chaim Amalek, Former Lovestonite

Luke: BTW, ever since you told me to propose marriage to that liberal New York jew Laura, she has not written me. Thanks a lot for costing me tons of free material. Thanks Chaim.

Chaim writes: BELIEVE ME when I tell you that these "Laura-person" types are among the most irritating of G-d's creatures on the face of the earth. It is a damn good thing that in two generations, they will be gone. Anyway, assuming she was female (likely she was), she probably was some hideous looking jap from Lawnguyland with a bad nose job. And if it's mail you want, why not write a letter to Bertrum Fields asking if he would be so kind as to put you in touch with all of his HoHeHo clients for a book you are working on? THAT should generate lots of interesting mail!

Laura writes: In answer to Chaim Amalek's question as to why so many Jews are hostile to religion the anwer is first of all it's not only Jews who are hostile to organized religion many Christians are as well and for good reason. Organized religion in my view is sexually repressive especially concerning women's sexuality and is used as an excuse to repress women in general. Religious right rhetoric has resulted in hatred and intolerance towards gays which has led to their being denied basic rights. Also the fact is most religious extremists tend to be very hypocritical in preaching morality to others while never living up to their own standards. Religious extremism has been the cause of violence and wars throughout history. Thanks to religious nuts some school districts will not teach evolution denying those kids a scientific education and instead making them believe in the false creationism nonsense so they can turn those kids into ignorant religious right kooks like themselves. That's just some of the reasons to distrust organized religion and turn against it. BTW I'm an admirer of Nina Hartley. From the liberal Jew Laura.

Let Us State Some Facts!

Chaim Amalek writes: 1. "In fact, 'Chaim Amalek' is but an expression of my forbidden thoughts that I am too frightened to publish under the moniker 'Luke F-rd'. And yet even now, the readers of this web site just don't get it. I mean, they JUST DON'T GET IT. ONE MORE TIME - Amalek = Am Luke Just why you cannot see this, I do not know.

2. No sooner do I complain that I have lost the attention of Laura, the Liberal Jewess, then she is risen! And in less time than Jesus is said to have taken to raise himself from the dead, too! (But note: I mean no disrespect to Christianity, Judaism, or any other faith by such comments.)

3. By the way, Laura, it remains the case that in this, the bloodiest century of all human history (we are still in the 20th CE), nations driven by atheistic creeds slaughtered orders of magnitude more innocents than were killed because of religious disputes. German National Socialism, Bolshevism, Maoism were all atheistic creeds. Next to their carnage, the body count of all other causes fades into statistical noise. Your Jewish icon Nina Hartley chooses to identify with the bloodiest of ideologies - communism. That makes her a bad person, notwithstanding all of her self-indulgent whoring in front of the camera. You need to pull the needle of popular culture out of your arm, yank the MTV from your eyes, and read some history.

4. And for the record, all of you - THIS MISSIVE WAS COMPOSED BY Luke F-rd!! THERE IS NO "CHAIM AMALEK"!!!!

Luke: "Chaim Amalek" is a low part of myself that I just now coming to grips with, thanks to years of therapy. We call the unwanted selfish racist bigoted part of me "Chaim Amalek," and we're learning to accept this wounded and angry inner child.

Siobhan Hunter

Olly writes: As a big fan of Siobhan Hunter, pretty much a supporting role starlet from the mid-to-late '80s, I am wondering.... 1) What is her real name? 2) What is her nationality? 3) What is she doing now? 4) Is it true that she worked as an escort for the "Mayflower Madam" following her retirement from porn, and 5) Has she considered a return to the industry?

Muse writes on RAME: Don't you just hate it when those porn stars go out and get married or get a boyfriend and leave you high and dry? I mean, dammit, don't they apreciate our feelings at all?

Idiot's Guide to Mendacity

Rabbi Stiffkugel writes on RAME: The Rabbi Stiffkugel once again finds himself hocking a chinik about truth in porno labeling. After a weeks long boredom-induced hiatus, the R S has averted his gaze to a movie entitled "Idiot's Guide to Making Porno Movies" In fairness, the R S quickly acknowledges that there is some truth in the title, i.e., the idiot part. The title would suggest some sort of behind-the-scenes scenario. In fact, the thing has nothing to do with making movies, and is mostly just a collection of scenes using the old "pizza delivery" plotline. One of the scenes *did* involve a pizza girl (Ronnie Cox) dropping off a pepperoni at an actual porno studio and getting a couple of Hebrew Nationals instead of a tip. This segues into a phony movie within a movie in which a Dave Hardman lookalike Kyle Stone delivers to a lady who can't find her purse and settles for a couple of bucks instead. In addition to the trite, repetitious plots, the sex was generally unremarkable - brought further down by use of shopworn talent like Stone and Hershel Savage. One scene with Felicia Ryder and a dude who calls himself Voodoo Child (speaking of idiot names) is the only one with a decent male performer. This might get a weak 5 if it was honestly labeled, but the deceptive advertising gets it a "feh" and a goose egg.

Luke Gets Mail

Goddess writes: Luke, Mike South is stalking ME!! You know more about the law than I do, is this permissible? I'm supposed to be stalking HIM, damn it! I spent the whole morning reading about different types of stalkers. Mike seems to fall into the category of "delusional stalker--they just don't get it and they never will." This sounds pretty much like Mike, doesn't it? Delusional. In which case, a restraining order will do me NO good. I'm rushing out to buy a copy of "I Know You Really Love Me: A Psychiatrist's Journal of Erotomania, Stalking and Obsessive Love." Luke, do you or Chaim have a spare bedroom, I need some place to hide? I don't know a whole lot about stalking, but I don't think I'm supposed to be afraid of the person I'm stalking, am I?

OMG! Chaim pictures me as being a black man in a wig! That is soooo incredibly freakish, cause that's exactly how I picture HIM! Only his is one of those cheap Dolly Parton wigs that doesn't do a damn thing for him....

Lynne writes: "In explaining the above points, Boteach castigates porn as about "fundamental boredom" because "Once you've seen Miss January, you're about as interested in seeing her again as you are in lifting weights or exercising."

Once I've seen Miss January, I'm even more interested in "lifting weights and exercising." Firstly, because I'd rather look like Miss January than not, and secondly, because I want her to look back. Doesn't the Rabbi understand that bringing a healthy body to a marriage is an obligation on behalf of both parties? A priceless gift to one's spouse? And an important part of great sex?

"To his credit, Boteach comes out in favor of tease and foreplay, two subjects usually neglected in all but the better porn productions... and, all too often, in some relationships. However, he claims that the lack of a "real connection" between sex partners leads to sexual addiction, which, "because it's fundamentally empty, it becomes like a drug."

Problems with one's family which result in a lack of self-esteem and a need for human connection and intimacy lead to sex addiction. The lack of a real connection between sex partners leads to exploitation and abuse. The sex is fundamentally empty, but the actual sex is rather irrelevant. Good drugs, and by "good" I mean drugs which serve their purpose, whether it's to assuage pain or elevate consciousness or take away a headache, are not fundamentally empty. Bad sex does not lead to sexual addiction, though it might lead to drugs, especially the legal and available one called "alcohol."

Don't be too hard on Larry Flynt -- getting paralyzed f---ed up his breathing and trachea and f---ed up his speech a whole lot. He was always really funny. XXX always really respected him -- the guy had balls, and went out on the edge for the First Amendment over and over again, when Ruben and his ilk hid in the gutter, played stash the cash, and left Larry to take on the government.

You do real good by being honest about how you feel, even when you're unsure. I never have to worry if you've been caught having homosexual orgies by John Bowen, thus needing to give him the good review in exchange for his silence.

Steve Neece writes: For once it seems Dennis Prager has released a kernel of truth.I allude to his observation that among the reasons for many Jews hostility towards religion is the fact that they are the most educated group in the U.S. and possibly the world.They KNOW that Christianity has done its best to eradicate them over the last 2 milennia and that Islam has taken up the slack recently.They also know that both are offshoots of Judaism and that just perhaps the whole tree is poisonous.

As for communism & National Socialism piling up more bodies than Christianity,I don't think so.Remember ,the Christians had nearly 19 centuries headstart.Secondly,National Socialism was not a strictly atheistic creed though they might have become such had they triumphed.They made use of Christianity when it suited their purposes though most party members made little effort to hide their contempt of it and those that were religious at all gravitated towards Norse paganism which would eventually have replaced Christianity among the masses.

Among the things I charge to Christianity is the near extinction of Western civilization when it undermined the foundation of the Roman Empire and caused it to collapse,bringing on a dark age that lasted more than 1,000 years where all progress regressed and the population of what was Roman Europe dwindled to a fraction of its former numbers.How many died of illnesses and starvation that were preventable in classical times.?How many perished because death oriented Christianity left them at the mercy of outside invaders.How many perished as witches,heretics,unbelievers, pagans or general enemies of the church.?

Add to that the depopulation of much of the New World in the name of Christ.God or the sword said the Spaniards as churchmen beamed approval.Did you know that the 19th century Taipeng rebellion in China that cost at least 20 million lives was started by a mission educated Chinese who believed he was the brother of Jesus Christ?And you wonder why Mao had no patience with Christians or missions in his country?In parts of Africa today there are still massive slaughters in the name of Christ or Mohammed ! I do not buy the excuses of those who try and dismiss these facts.Doing so proves their moral bankruptcy.

If you you say Nina Hartley is evil because she supports communism then that certainly makes believing Christians infinitely more so.You could include practicing Jews as well as without Judaism there would be no Christianity or Islam.In fact,Nina once said,"I am a communist with a small 'c' and a socialist with a large 'S'."Do you find it puzzling that Nina and fellow atheist Asia Carrera have much stricter parameters in what they will do and refuse to take part in acts THEY consider to be degrading as opposed to many of those performing extreme acts coming from repressive religious backgrounds and in some cases still professing a belief in those.Can you say religiously inspired self hatred and lack of esteem?Does it not seem logical?

Luke,you continue to poison yourself.You hate yourself for what you desire.That is a state of mind that can only lead to insanity.I hope that Lynne can steer clear of it . .The greatest crime porn has committed is catering to the most sexually dysfunctional elements of society and playing into the hands of the religious right in doing so.And by the way,Luke,though you claim the pornmeisters are political liberals to a man you can bet your ass that most of the company owners and other industry bigshots voted for Reagan and Bush in the 80's because they were perceived to be friencdly towards Big Business.Their loyalty is to money rather than any cause.The last thing they want is to destroy America.Then they would have nobody to exploit. Whether from Luke or Chaim I await your response.

What Women Want

"What Women Want" was the title of Luke F-rd's sensitive exploration of female sexuality in the Sunshine Films gangbang. I've now found out that it is also the title of Mel Gibson's next film, a romantic comedy directed by Nancy Meyers.

I produced, directed and wrote my one porno in January of 1996, near the beginning of my research into porn. I even penned the boxcover copy on the back: "Dick Dundee [Luke] goes down under to get to the bottom of what women want. From the author of the forthcoming book on the sex flick revolution X-RATED (Barclay) comes a movie which uncovers what women truly desire. Kimberley Kummings opens wider and reveals more than she ever has before!"

My movie starred Warren Scott, Dick Nasty, Rick Masters, Tommy Gunn and Dave Hardman.

I interview Kimberly in the tape. Here's part of our conversation:

Luke: "I love anal sex [giving, not receiving] but it is one of those loves that has rarely been fulfilled. But I once met this woman and one evening I asked her if I could. And she got on her knees and I couldn't quite get it in. I was really tired. We'd had two hours of foreplay. Then, if she moved her legs apart, I just got the head in. And I thought, this is as much as my brother ever did. He never got more than his cock in, and my brother has gotten in quite a few women. And I thought, this is it. But, as I kept pushing, heaven's gates opened wide, and sweet Jesus, I felt myself driving home, all the way to heaven. And it was so warm. And the tightness was incredible. I've never experienced such an embrace. And I have to confess that it is, far and away, my most favorite form of sex. And when this woman dumped me, I cried every day for three months. Several times a day.

"It makes me feel like a man. Very powerful. And she seems more vulnerable. And it is nasty and adventurous..."

Kimberly: "Hmmm."

Kimberly says she had anal sex for the first time on camera.

Kimberly: "It was not that great... Because there is only one person you can have anal sex with on camera only... [Ed Powers]... That lucky bugger got it first..."

Luke: "What is his secret?"

Kimberly: "It's his money. That's the only reason. But with you honey, it would be more than that... But with him, there's nothing to him. You wouldn't have a problem with girls working with you..."

Luke: "I've never been able to get off from just a blowjob..."

Lynne writes: I would have anal sex with Luke modestly within the sanctity of marriage in the privacy of a comfortable hotel room on a bed, but not with Chaim, because Chaim is mean and degrading and wouldn't listen ahead of time to what I expect to get out of it, or care.

You'd be surprised how many men find anal sex exciting because they feel it degrades the woman. But here, based on personal experience, are my anal sex rules.

1. No during or post-coital verbal humiliation.

2. Lubricant required.

3. No pawing at my vulva.

4. No jumping up afterwards to go to work or clean house or make sandwiches. Have an orgasm, go to sleep. Being penetrated in this way can/should be pretty cataclysmic stuff.

5. This is not a twice a day activity -- it's meant to be interspersed along with vaginal sex. There's nothing wrong with vaginal sex --sure, it feels "tighter" with Lexington Steele, but that doesn't mean it isn't pleasurable with an "average" guy. Who wants a butthole like Mila's!

6. Absolutely no clown suits! Preparations can involve enemas, toys and pubic hair removal. All sharable.

No wonder you have such bad luck with nice straight women from shul....You have no money, your job is offensive, your family isn't Jewish, you dropped out of school AND you want to stick things up their butts. Even if they can get past the rest of it AND are willing to endure sex with a poverty stricken pornographer who has no family.....

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    Luke F-rd, Kimberly Kummings, Dave Hardman from the video "What Women Want" from Sunshine Films

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    Luke, Dave

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    Luke, Dave

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    Kimberly Kummings

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    Kimberly

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    Luke, Kimberly

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    Luke, Kimberly

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    Luke, Kimberly

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    Luke, Kimberly

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    Luke, Kimberly

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    Luke, Kimberly

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    Luke, Kimberly

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    Kimberly

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    Kimberly

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    Kimberly

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    Luke, Kimberly, Dave


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    Luke, Kimberly, Dave, Tommy Gunn
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    Luke, Kimberly, Dave

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    Rick Masters, Luke, Kimberly

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    Luke, Kimberly, Dave

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    Luke, Kimberly, Dave

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    Rick, Luke, Kimberly

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    Luke, Kimberly, Dave

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    Tommy Gunn

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    Dave Hardman

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    Kimberly and the guys

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    Rick, Kimberly

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    Dave, Rick

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    Kimberly, Tommy Gunn

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    Kimberly

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    Kim

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    Kim

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    Kim

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    Kim

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    What Women Want boxcover

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    What Women Want box

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    Luke

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    Luke, Kimberly

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    Luke, Kimberly

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    Luke, Kimberly

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    Luke, Kimberly

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    Kim


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    Kim

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    Kim

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    Luke, Kimberly

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    Luke, Kimberly

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    Luke, Kimberly

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    Luke, Kimberly

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    Luke, Kimberly

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    Kimberly

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    Kim

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    Luke, Kimberly, Dick Nasty

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    Luke, Kimberly, Dick

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    Luke, Kimberly, Dick

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    Luke, Kimberly, Dick


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    Luke, Kimberly, Dick

ELASTIN2: i saw Lili Xene last week Luzdedos1: and ELASTIN2: she almost got into a fight with Shannon ELASTIN2: i want u to put it on your site Luzdedos1: who is shannon? ELASTIN2: she also dances at Tropical Lei ELASTIN2: my friend had sex with Bunny Blue for $300..she provides everything including anal

Kent writes: Luke, Hope you won't mind a question. In your "Update" of Sept. 18, 1998, which I just read online, you mention an actress named Alana; in looking at her photo, I can see it's apparently not the same Alana who starred in one of my favorite videos, "Alana: A Gangbang Fantasy," put out by Filmco and directed by Loretta Sterling, if memory serves. She's tall and thin, with long blond hair, gorgeous, and she usually, I read somewhere, wears sunglasses (as in the video I just cited). Do you know anything about that Alana - other videos of hers, whether she's still in the business, has a website, etc.? In searching online, it's confusing with two Alana's, and no last name for either, or at least for the one in whom I'm interested. I read a review of a video starring, I think, the Alana you mentioned (although it used a last name for her as well; Evans, I believe) and it was very complimentary, but the Alana I'm talking about is also extremely hot.

Kids Turn to Sex Trade

TOKYO (AP) - Children in prosperous countries are turning to the sex trade to earn a little extra cash, rather than out of the dire poverty that traditionally drives the business, activists said Thursday. ``It's no longer just the children who need to live who go into it,'' said Ofelia Calcetas-Santos, the U.N. rapporteur on the sale of children, child prostitution and pornography. ``This is a departure from what we traditionally know.''