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Thursday, April 13, 2000

Email Luke

James Toback's 'Black and White' Film Censored

Tim Evanson writes on RAME: James Toback's "Black and White" just opened in theaters. It's a film about race relations in America (broadly). However, according to the April issue of "Brill's Content" magazine (http://www.brillscontent.com), the film has been censored because it contains an inter-racial sex scene. In one scene, a black man, black woman and white woman are in a park.

The black man -- a rapper (he's played by a rapper, but I don't know which one) with a muscular body -- has no shirt on, and he faces the black woman. The black woman opens her shirt, exposing her breasts and rubbing them against the black man's chest. As the two black people kiss, the black man plays with the black woman's breasts and nipples. The black man undresses the black woman, so her pants fall around her ankles. The white woman stands behind the black woman. The white woman opens her shirt, too, and rubs her breasts against the black woman's back. (Notice the lesbian theme.) Suddenly the white woman reaches down (just below the frame), and her hand and arm begin moving back and forth suddenly.

The idea is that the black man's huge penis has been thrust between the black woman's legs, and is sticking out behind the black woman. The white woman is masturbating him. After more kissing, more breasts rubbing on backs, and more masturbation, the black man cums. According to "Brill's", the MPAA demanded that the scene be re-cut so that the white woman's arm and hand movements are not conspicuous. The idea is not that sex in a public place is bad. The idea is not that lesbian sex is bad. The idea is that black people having sex is bad.

The MPAA found it objectionable that a white woman "submit" and be "forced" to masturbate a black man to orgasm in a public place. Toback fought the MPAA, says the magazine, but eventually gave in. The frame of the movie has been cut and blown back up to fill the screen. The white woman's arm movements are not very noticeable now. (It is, however, obvious that the black man cums. Of course, now viewers will be left with the impression that he's f---ing the black woman and came inside her.)

JonLee replies: I saw that movie, and I'm black. Whether that scene was censored or uncensored, I don't give a damn. It sounds like you're just trying to create hype to get people to read that magazine or see that movie. All I know is that I don't recommend anyone wasting their time or money going to see that flick, unless they want a cure for insomnia. Boring stuff.

What's Up With Charlie?

MrBrown writes on RAME: I saw a few of her movies and WOW is she hot. She did a lot of lesbian stuff and straight scenes with her husband (Mr. Charlie) Then I saw SMUT 14 and it looked like she did an anal scene with some guy who was not her husband. I haven't seen any other new stuff. Is she still with her husband? Any new anal scenes I'm missing? I would love to see her with Lexington Steel!!!!

Newty writes on RAME: You Think Her [Gina Ryder] Site sucks Look At Tera Hearts Site.Been 3 years hasnt added s--- and still charges $10 a month for a few pictures.Never even added the vids that say coming soon.I joined her fan club a few years back.I received a video tape without a box a crumpled Vid flyer and a scratched up membership card along with a letter saying that she wasnt running her mail club anymore.Took the $50 And Ran Nice girl LOL

Boring Reply From Peter Hayes

Peter Hayes, reacting to criticism of his Rio and other travel pieces, writes: I am stopping writing about my travels, because all you get is some smart Alec porn lover shouting at you every time you do. I don’t get paid to write here, but do so for fun. However this column has too many pain-in-the-backside merchants for even my rhino-like skin.

Whatever happened to constructive criticism? What happened to debate? People want to attack my credentials, when my credits speak for themselves. I don’t say you have to like what I write or agree with me!

The Orson Wells quote came from Orson Well’s own mouth in a BBC TV documentary - he clearly didn’t want to do the project (or so he claimed later) and said so repeatedly.

If you live in Rio you write about the Rio scene - if you live in Japan you write about Japan. You know it better than I do. Naturally it is all too much effort, and even if you decided to you would only have some clown hiding behind an alias calling you "a f---ing idiot" the next day.

Everything I write is either true or true to the best of my knowledge. I have seen the inside of a lot of discos, but I didn’t recall what you describe. Nevertheless I was wrecked by the time I got there, so I wasn’t in the best shape to describe events.

I’d say to my friend Sergio that he should keep on enjoying his life in Rio - if you like sun, sea, sex and drugs then it is the ideal place to be. Who says I don’t like your city(?), if you have money in your pocket I can think of lots of worse places to be - sadly few locals have and people like you probably like it that way.

As you have Internet access and speak English (which is very rare in my experience), I am presuming that you are also one of the lucky few that cower behind those large barbed wire fences which I wrote about in the article, and are therefore the butt of repeated jokes from the locals?

Pedro Hayes writes: I have noticed that every time Peter Hayes writes anything in this column someone attacks it. He goes places, finds things out, reports them, but never gets any praise for it.

I don't always agree with what he writes, but he is always readable and to the point. He goes to Amsterdam and speaks to the people there and reports what they say, while some clown in Kansas (or wherever) who has never even been to Europe in his life slags him off!

What is the point in printing these "responses", what do they add? These people are takers and freeloaders, they never add anything. Reading these letters I realise why the column is often so boring, anyone who says anything gets two days of pissy illiterate letters in response. Which Luke is more than happy to include as it fills the column with minimal effort.

What thanks is that Luke baby - you don't know a good thing when you see one? Sooner or later Peter Hayes will get tired of this brain-dead abuse and go somewhere else. Then the column will be back to tired ol' porners at each other throats (when has that been news?), which is all that we get when his name is absent. Leave the guy alone or write something better.

Sergio writes: Like a guy who wrote in the music mag I edited years ago and said, IN THE ARTICLE, the he didn't watched a certain show cause he was so drunk he passed out. Of course, I kicked the guy from the mag. So you'll stop writing all those s--- about countries and things you don't know s--- about? Well... GOOD RIDDANCE. And f--- you AGAIN, so you'll stop being a whiny moron. Credentials schemedtials.

Luke: Sergio, your nasty comments have prompted Peter to stop writing travelogues for my site. Thanks a lot! I want Peter to keep writing, travelogues and everything.

Sergio writes: Oh yeah? Boo and hoo. I'm NEVER in the mood to see the place I live lambasted by some guy without a clue. But I'm happy to see that me, little me, scared the s--- out of a so-called journalist. (Well, if Bob Saget is called a comedian and Angelina Jolie is called an actress, I guess Peter can be called a journalist too - insert sarcasm here).

John writes: Just a note on the funny gaffe in Peter Hayes' column about Rio ... Orson Welles' second most famous early film (after "Citizen Kane") was "The Magnificent Ambersons", not "The Magnificent Amazons" as Peter wrote. Though it would make a look porno name, don't ya think?

Baltimore Sun music critic J.D. Considine writes: Luke -- Let me get this straight: Peter Hayes, who makes a big deal about his journalistic credentials, makes mistakes in his stories, then complains that people point them out. OK. Then he whines, What's the use of flying to exotic locales and filing half-assed dispatches if the locals are going to read them and point out the inaccuracies?

Maybe it's that, unlike those used to the British press, we Yanks actually expect our journos to deliver something resembling knowledge and accuracy. Maybe attitude and breezy prose -- even if written for free -- doesn't cut it with us. Or maybe we know a hack when we read one.

Of course, since the thin-skinned Mr. Hayes has already sworn off l-keford.com, I doubt I'll see a response to this. But if indeed he lingers on, please tell him that it's "butt out," not "but out," and "woebetide," not "whoabetide."

ps: Hayes moans: "If you live in Rio you write about the Rio scene - if you live in Japan you write about Japan." OK, Sergio lives in Rio. What l-keford.com poster lives in Japan?

Lynne writes Peter Hayes: Peter, I would enjoy your articles very much if I had the time to read them. Unfortunately, I've spent too much time defending Luke over the last month to do any reading for enjoyment outside of bed (and the dog takes up too much room for me to also be sleeping with a computer).

Remember that people rarely write anyone to say how much they like stuff -- it's only the people who have complaints who build up the angst or ire to write. Being that I spell my name with an "e," my only complaint is that you spell Orson Welles incorrectly. Stop it! We petulant film geniuses must stick together!

I'm sure there's plenty of people who enjoy what you contribute. They enjoy it, and go about their lives. It's the people with NO lives, like Curious, who are unhappy and need to complain...

Speaking of Curious.... My dear Curious: You don't have to worry, little boy -- none of my scenes appeared in a senior series. They were all released as hairy muff movies....until, in "The Violation of Dianna Roth," I got shaved! Age is relative, and I'm not promoting incest. The counterculture saying was "Don't trust anyone over thirty," not "Don't f--- anyone over thirty."

Luke, turn this one over to the FBI -- I bet he's got a great collection of kiddie porn, not to mention that he doesn't have the guts to send in a naked picture of himself. Orson Welles would say, "Never release a fine wine before its time."

Seriously, have you checked out my picture as a nubile 18 year old? Or are you just whining because Luke MAY receive the benefit of my experience while you continue to jack off and hate women?

Jim_Gunn> Brasil whores are cheap, beautiful and fun and give you a near girl-friend experience.

Wake up and Smell the Cat Food

Curious writes: Is that a misprint or did Lynn L-patin really do 5 hardcore scenes as recently as 1998 !?! Which volumes of "Older and Anal" and "Gang Bang Grannies" were they so I can avoid them at all costs. Also, Peter Hayes writes that Juliet "Aunt Peg" Anderson and Annie Sprinkle are both appearing at Erotica 2000 in April. In God's name WHY? Does the AARP have a both there? Ladies! Wake up and smell the cat food! You are both way passed you porn expiration dates. Move on. You have much more to offer to our society in the roles of Walmart greeters than in the YOUTH oriented porn world. Move on.

A Few Loose Ends

Chaim Amalek writes: Luke - a few loose ends (and no, I am not talking about the women you write about). When do you return to America? Is there time for you to get your kisser on television down under? If there is, let me know and I will help you get on. I have a few ideas that might work.

This Goddess chick writes: "Tell Chaim that if you had made an offer for an affair before this whole sordid XX thing, I might have considered it. As it stands, the Southern one has soured me on the idea of EVER having any kind of an intimate relationship with a guy involved in porn. Well, EXCEPT for ...."

Sounds like a green light to me! Don't worry about the sin part; likely our faith does not recognize violating the sort of marriage that she has as being equal to adultery.

(New Casha: IF two jewish lesbians marry, and one of them has an affair out of marriage with you, have either of you committed adultery? Answer: Only if each of the two lesbians has married a jewish man! This is something that all those Daughters of Bilitis out there need to keep in mind as they agitate for marriage.)

Damn, I am slow on the uptake this evening! I missed the opportunity "Goddess" suggested: "I would, however, enjoy STALKING you, Luke. It's one of the things I do best.* Think about it "

OK, I have thought about it. Now for this to work, DO NOT PUBLISH THIS EMAIL TO YOURSELF! She and I need to get together to create a scenario in which she does indeed stalk me. Think of the story line possibilities - voyeur porn internet writer stalked by his own subject matter! You wake up in the morning and she is just "passing by" your prosperous gated community, with a Prada bag in her hands (we must plan the product placements very carefully). Or you are davening at shul and SHE is sitting next to you (hopefully, you do not always go orthodox). She follows you to all the fancy restaurants you frequent as you meet with sources deep within the porno community. Then, when you rebuff her, things turn very sinister. Your pet chicken is found plucked - yet still breathing, flopping about in a pot of water about to boil. A chabad "mitzva-mobile" keeps following you around town. Someone breaks into your Lincoln Town Car.

Then comes the arrest and her trial. She pleads insanity - yours - and to buttress her claim that you are nuts and have made the whole thing up, she calls to the witness stand BigSister and your Stepmother, as well as all the doctors who looked you over down under. At the very least, it should be worth a shot in the pages of the LA Times, if not a television miniseries ala "Roots".

By the way, where do bnai israel such as yourself go for a proper seder on Passover? Could be the prime chance you will have to invite that Laurie person over for say, four glasses of wine. Tell her you have a few questions (four) that you need to ask her.

Chaim Amalek writes: 1. Lynne seems to be a nice person, in her own skin. But she gives away the argument when she writes: "Luke, As to my age -- that's irrelevant. . . . If I were twelve years younger than Luke it would be okay, but being that he's twelve years younger than me, it's wrong? My late husband was ten years older than me . . . I helped keep him young." Yes, you did. Does not Luke deserve the same?

Lynne: Chaim, Luke IS young. He needs my wisdom and my experience a lot more than he needs an unformed, immature, dependent child for whom he'll have to be responsible. He has a hard time being responsible for himself! After I teach him him how to have a relationship, he'll be able to mentor a younger woman.

Seriously, the societal sanction against men marrying older women has to do men needing to be in charge. One cannot be in charge of someone with more experience and more knowledge about the way things work. One cannot be submissive to someone with less experience and less knowledge than one's self. In egalitarian relationships, one partner doesn't dominate another -- therefore the age difference is irrelevant. I have more zest for living than most teenagers, and I'm happy to watch cartoons, listen to alternative music and get downright silly as often as possible. Whoever wins at miniature golf gets to choose the restaurant, right?

We all know Luke is an ol' fuddy duddy and NEVER has fun! Luke, perhaps you'll share the Passover card I sent you with the rest of your little Jewish friends!

Laura writes: Chaim I think you are a disgrace and an embarrassment to Jews. Thank God your way of thinking represents the minority of us. Your kind of attitude doesn't belong in this century. Who are you or anyone else for that matter to dictate who someone is attracted to or falls in love with or has sex with? Are you suggesting we go back to outlawing interracial marriages as well? If anyone disapproves of interracial couples that is their problem and no I am not the least bit interested in the concerns of those that disapprove whether they be black or white. Chaim its the 21st century and you haven't even entered the 20th century yet. As far as the bible being against interracial marriage well the bible is the same excuse that was given by segregationists and slaveowners in the old south to repress blacks. Besides the bible is irrelevant to our times and it is a work of fiction. You would fit right in with the crowd at Bob Jones university. And yes your views are indeed right wing despite what you did as a youth which is hardly relevant to the person you are today. All in all you are an old yenta.

Goddess writes Luke: "...the sort of marriage that she has." what EXACTLY does that mean?? I was just teasing about the Tragically Hip God of Gossip. I wouldn't have sex with him either. I'm very committed to my relationship, but I'm NOT DEAD, for Pete's sake. I can look at Mike South and see a very intelligent, funny, and sexy guy and not be cheating in any way. A little flirtation adds a lot of zest to a relationship. And unless you plan to have your eyes sewn shut once you get married, Luke, you'll soon discover that a marriage license doesn't stop you from admiring a member of the opposite sex, and more importantly, why should it? The bad thing about stalking you, Luke, is that if it ever DID go to court, you'd be wwwaaayyy more savvy when it comes to legal matters than I would:)

Plus the fact that you keep publishing emails to yourself is NOT gonna help prove your sanity. You don't IM yourself, DO YOU??

Oh, BTW, don't ever think that this would be a "physical stalking." That's just too damn much work, Luke:)

SexAddict writes: Dear Luke, I must warn you what is coming your way. Marcus Killus' final statement in his rant against Amalek refers to the stark fist of removal. This means that Marcus is a Subgenius- refer to www.subgenius.com. The Subgenii specialize in religious and cultural deprogramming through satire and dadaist rants. You will find the subgenius site to be darn near the biggest website you ever saw on the net.

Given your juxtaposition of porn and religion, I should have expected them to show up sooner or later. Be prepared for some truly surreal stuff.

As far as 'Chaim's' thinly thought out racial musings, all this shows is an exceedingly weak grasp of genetics on 'his' part. Biodiversity is a concern re: crops and herd animals because the species in question have been bred down to very specific criteria, namely the highest amount of yield for a given region or feed. Human intervention for these specific purposes has resulted in optimal yields but a dangerous uniformity in immunity systems, which will prove to be a very serious problem.

Humans, on the other hand, breed for pleasure, family and/or love, which will yield immune diversity as long as the base population is large enough to reduce the reinforcement of negative recessives. Witness the genetic damage of the Hasidic jews or European royalty to see the results of Chaim's avowed policy. Ironic isn't it- had Hitler succeeded in his mad aim, he would have ended up breeding a race of thin blooded disease ridden uberpoodles that would have had to be put out of their misery due to their weakness.

Hybrid vigor is the key to human health. Do not listen to the rants of ill-informed individuals- go wild out there kids! Mix up that gene pool!

Chaim Amalek writes Thursday night: Luke, keep me apprised of your courtship of Laura. Four glasses of Manischewitz wine ought to do it. Maybe when you have gotten her good and drunk, you can get her to address a central problem of miscegenation: WHAT ABOUT THE PLIGHT OF BLACK WOMEN?

Lynne, Luke might well be emotionally immature in the eyes of a woman of a certain age, but believe me, he ain't young, and he knows it, and he never will be more mature, either.

SexAddict is quite right about the threat augured (I had to look that one up!) by the Marcus Killus rant. But let me put a stop to that before it even begins: Stark Fist of Retrieval or Stark Fist of Removal - Can't We all Just Get Along?

More interesting is the mention of inbreeding among the Chasidim. (I am one of the mitnagdim.) Yes, this is a BIG problem, one that I have been warning against for decades. Perhaps the torah rule against miscegenation should be relaxed to encourage the cross-breeding of Chassidim and Negroes. By carefully culling the population of its undesirables (as determined by Harvard and Hollywood), a veritable super-race of super-jewnegroes (Jegroes) might be created, able both to physically intimidate and sue the pants off of any goy who dared stand in his way!

(By the way, you state that "Humans, on the other hand, breed for pleasure, family and/or love, which will yield immune diversity as long as the base population is large enough to reduce the reinforcement of negative recessives." Curious then, that the most genetically diverse population on earth, the negro, has the highest rates of immune disease - HIV - anywhere. Also, the people of racially homogeneous Iceland are VERY healthy and smart. Just an observation.)

Of course, the downside to this project would be the obliteration of the yeshiva boy as a source of genetic material, for reasons relating to the rule regarding matrilineal descent. Still, I think that this is a worthy project of 21st century Jewery, and should be undertaken soon after the completion of the Human Genome Project.

Comrade Chaim Amalek, former Lovestone-ite and Wobblie

A premenstrual NJG writes: Dear Fred: Regarding our on-going conversation of inanities, you asked what does IRL mean, it means In Real Life. Thought you were net-savvy enough to know this already.

As regards to a video store, I've never been in one, so I don't know how they stock the porn items or any items. I don't own a vcr, and the one time I actually ventured into a video store, I went to the back to look at the boxcovers, and saw a bunch of people I know through this site. Of course I couldn't stay for more than 2 seconds, since some creepy guy was back there leering at me. Ewwww! Can't you men be more respectful? Jeez!

And I did answer your question honestly Fred, you are just being a jerk and patronizing to me when you say such idiotic and asinine things like "but I am very upset that you wear leather shoes. Tsk Tsk." Don't you dare act patronizing to me you f---ing JERK! FOAD!

Complaints Against ExcaliburFilms.com

Scourge writes on RAME: What really sucks about Excalibur Films any more is their prices. last year they raised many of their prices way beyond what some of these videos were selling for at the time. Many are worth $9.95 but not the price they want for them now. Another thing that sucks about Excalibur is that you can't put the upgrade value of a video exchange toward the $100 figure for free shipping. Also, if you include some videos for exchange in an order for some new ones (the latter not being part of the excahnge). They won't let you save the $3.00/video shipping cost if the total order (new purchases plau upgrade costs) is over $100.

Male Lust

'Male Lust', the book, will be released soon. From its website www.MLust.com: Male Lust is a groundbreaking collection of nearly 60 personal essays, memoirs, stories, commentaries, and poems about men's diverse experiences with sex. While images of men pursuing sex abound, they typically duplicate one or two well-worn stereotypes, leaving little room for creativity, spontaneity or novelty in the fashioning a sexual self. Further, little information exists outside those stereotypes about the range of men's feelings, beliefs and practices regarding sex, sexuality and lust. In the past twenty years, women have produced a large amount of literature and erotica that breaks old molds and offers new ways of approaching their own sexuality. Male Lust continues this tradition of unearthing new erotic ground, with men writing about their own experience and ideas for transforming and reweaving male lust, love and politics.

A-Z of Things to Come

I got a mention in the'Epigram,' the independent student newspaper of Bristol University in England. From 'The A to Z of Things to Come' column:

F - Ford, Luke. ...the new Matt Drudge. Ford's website (www.l-keford.com) is already a legend among net aficionados. In summary, it's a diary-cum-gossip sheet of all the latest cummings and ho-ings in the world of the Los Angeles porn industry - who's doing who, who's caught what, etc... His ambiguous definition of 'the truth' has seen him receive death threats from upset actors, which of course only adds to the Luke F-rd myth. Spurious or accurate, he's always genuinely fascinating.

Luke: Others mentioned in this A-Z list include the Internet, MP3, Chris Rock, American Beauty and James Woods.

I also got a mention from Herman Nietzhe, editor-in-chief of Contact Publications: "As jaded as I am when it comes to pornography in general and the adult movie industry specifically, I found it [my book A History of X] a thoroughly fascinating read."

Here's a review of my book from The Chronicle, Duke University, 1/14/00:

The author is a kind of Arriana Huffington of the adult industry: Despite being despised by most in the business, he runs themost well-known gossip column (at l-keford.com) and seems to know every actor and actress, producer and director working today.

This is his book's greatest strength: Much of it is based on extensive conversations with the individuals involved, giving it an air of authenticity and depth. Ford sticks to the usual historical division, distinguishing betweenthe stag era (1900-1970), the golden years (1970-1980) and the video age (since 1980). Surprisingly, he makes little reference to the new wave of pornographic films that began, around 1990, to invest more money in production and tried to revive some of the narrative quality of the golden years.

Unfortunately, Ford is a rather indifferent writer. The book does not have a coherent argument and reads like a collection of snippets instead of a full history. Ford constantly reveals the obsessions that bother him on his web site - such as Jewish (he is a convert to Judaism) and Mafia involvement in the industry - and gets some of his facts wrong - for instance, Fanny Hill was published in 1749, not 1640.

But most irritatingly, Ford's text is too simplistic and makes many unsubstantiated claims. Central to his story is the assertion that "Porn belongs solely to men masturbating," yet instead of addressing the challenge to this statement by recent feminist pornography, he simply brushes it off as irrelevant and uninteresting. Moves like that keep A History of X at a low level of intellectual engagement - even while the book is fascinating for its glimpses of those involved in the industry.