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Tuesday, March 14, 2000

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Hal Guthu's Parrot

Oprah writes: The reason there's such an air of mystery around Hal Guthu's demise is obviously that the fact that his pet parrot was found dead a few yards away, feathers everywhere. I'd really appreciate some intelligent discussion about the parrot(by the way, what was the parrot's name?)

Does the death of his parrot suggest suicide or homicide? That's what's got everybody wondering. So far there has been no such intelligent discussion on your site.

What does it mean when a man kills his parrot? Does it mean he was furious to the point of killing his own beloved pet, perhaps the one and only friend he had in this world?

Is this like killing one's children in a mass murder? Did Hal have any children, and has anyone else considered this parallel? Did his murderers first kill his parrot as a means of torturing and inflicting as much emotional pain as possible on Hal before killing him?

Were they trying to extract information from Hal (or from the parrot possibly) by torturing the parrot first? Is it possible the parrot knew something, and Hal was afraid he would repeat secrets he had heard(was Hal homosexual or living a secret lifestyle, for instance?)

The parrot at a murder scene creates so much suspense, that I believe we could have the makings for a book or at least a TV movie here (does anyone else agree?) Please tell us whatever is known about the parrot, Mr. Ford, and put away some of these nagging questions. Cruelty to animals should never be taken lightly, after all, as you have so wisely pointed out, we have a possible murder mystery here.

Rumdar writes: Luke.... Are you aware that there is a disease known as Parrot Fever? I know nothing about it except that it exists and is contracted from, Well........Parrots. What are the symptoms? Do your readers know? Could this Hal fellow have been suffering from Parrot Fever which may have caused some sort of dementia resulting in the murder of the Parrot and suicide of himself? Let all Luke fans and readers combine their collective talents on this one. Together we can solve the case.

Erotic Life In Japan II

Peter Hayes writes: Yesterday I stated to write about my working exploits in Japan. I wrote how I had been commissioned by the "Church Times" to write a piece about a day in the life of a Tokyo sex reporter and had - previous to what I write today - done a little background checking and reporting before my main assignment. Check with the archive for yesterday's piece if you are sufficiently interested.

It is late afternoon and my guide and subject - Joshi - has finished with his copy for the next day's paper and is finally about to start his rounds.

Thinking of my expectant editor I hope that the night is going to turn in to some good copy because I don't want to see a bounced expense sheet from this city: "Are we going to have fun?" I ask as we put on our metaphorical hat and coat.

"No," says Joshi, "this will be work." I make a note not to say anything more that is not absolutely literal and we head, by taxi, to the neon light gloom that is the central red light district.

In the back of the cab I ask the usual questions about where we are going and what we are going to see. His reply gives me some hope of interesting copy and I ask him about our personal safety. The question puzzles him slightly as if going in to dives, brothels and sex clubs is as safe as a school picnic. I tell him to be more careful elsewhere, but his reassuring words prove to be true.

The taxi is already going at less than walking pace as the rush hour has started. To break the ice I start a couple of funny stories about my experiences on the road and hope that he will counter with some of his own. He doesn't. I ask him if he ever gets any sex while out and about on assignment.

"Once." He said and then paused for a long thought as if he might not continue. "I was surprised because she is a professional and that is what she does all day long... I was very surprised and flattered. However this is my job and I want to do it to the best of my ability, I wouldn't have made the first move. Not professional."

The taxi shunts another twenty five yards and then stops. I tell me him about life in London, Paris and Berlin and how dangerous it can be. Junkies, fake prostitutes, clip-joints, etc., etc. And also a funny story about a slight fender-bender accident that was caused by a stripper trying to change costume in the back of the cab and distracting the driver.

His inability to see the irony or humour ("you have to pay attention when driving") made me realise that this was going to be a humour free night. It also made me realise why World War 11's most stupid people were both Japanese: Hiroo Onoda who fought WW2 for 29 years believing that the reports that Japan had surrendered were an Allied trick. Harou Hirota was the kamikaze pilot that came back! He failed to crash his explosive packed glider in to a aircraft carrier, crashed in to the sea and had to be rescued by the very crew he was trying to kill. Taken to a concentration camp until the end of the war he decided to stay in the USA after release and worked as a chef in Washington DC!

Hirota later spoke of his shame at not completing his mission and secretly hoped that war would break out again and he could put right the shame he had brought upon himself and his country.

At last we get to our first port of call a massage parlour in the downtown area. Our scoop is that they have employed a new girl and we are going to find out more about her. In a city of 20 million plus this doesn't seem like big news - even in the sex world - so I got the impression that somewhere along the lines brown envelopes were changing hands. However I had no direct evidence of it.

We go up a flight of stairs, down a corridor and up another flight of stairs and through a small reception. I'm glad that I am being guided because I would have had my eyes checked, bought several insurance policies and possibly employed a private detective before finding the correct office on my own. We remove out shoes and put on the house slippers - they don't fit me and my heel hangs out the end. We are greeted by the small bowing man that we will meet all night.

Shown through to small room I sit on the bed and await the lady we are to report upon, who has a name that sounds a little like Iwashi - but my ears haven't quite got around to matching sounds to letters.

She turns out to be a small jet black lady who I'd take to be in her late teens. She bows to us to both and we bow back. This happens all evening, but I won't mention it again. Joshi takes out his tape recorder, pad and biro and off he goes at his job. I let him get a head of steam before asking him to translate some questions of my own.

Here is the gist of what she said: She was 19, had worked in a department store and hated it, felt no shame in what she did and this work paid better than anything else she could do. She had 3 or 4 customers a day and some of them she found funny - both ha-ha and strange. I didn't ask what sexual favours she performed and what her prices were - that would be impolite. Whatever else they may be they are always polite.

After 15 minutes she poses for a few photos - going through some poses on her low white table bed. She takes her top off - although it hides little and she is photographed from the side and with her hands over her breasts. And that was that, apart from the bowing. I secretly hoped the next stop would be better and it was.

For some reason massage parlours with theme rooms are called Image Clubs here and sometimes this is printed over the door in English. The Japanese are fond of taking our language, bastardising it and then being puzzled as to why we don't understand it.

We are at an image club next, thankfully within walking distance of our massage parlour. Once again we are barefoot and being shown the new fantasy rooms. Some were very predictable, such as wicker chairs and potted palms to suggest a jungle feel while another was - to my surprise a mock-up of a Tokyo underground compartment complete with hanging straps - here frotteurs could get there jollies without being arrested.

(I must explain that the word derives from the French word "frotter" which means to rub. In a sexual sense it means to get sexual pleasure from rubbing up against someone - with or without their permission. In the cramped Tokyo underground this is a way of life!)

What happens is that the girl comes in and plays another passenger and slowly works her way over to the customer and pretends to brush up against him by accident. The scene develops from there. We get to meet a girl that works under the name Mandy (although Japanes) and she wears a business suit to work. This is her act for tonight having moved over from being an army girl last week.

The army suite contains a metal post bed and a locker. A uniform - with hat - hangs on the wall. They haven't gone to that much trouble, but it is slightly more than you would expect in the West. The interview is difficult given the noise of another couple coming through the thin walls - again she seemed happy and posed for pictures hanging from the straps with three buttons of her white blouse undone.

As we go out I look at the master board - which contains a photo montage of the girls and props that are available. A red ribbon indicates whether girl is available or not. The place is very clean but is deserted in the early evening hours - we make our excuses and leave.

Later we go to a small strip bar and watch a girl in a teddy roll around on the low stage to music. The stage is small and almost ground level. Some of the businessmen touch the lady as she get close, it seems to be on-the-menu as she doesn't complain. The strip is of drawn out to epic proportions and I wonder whether the top will ever come off, but it does, eventually. I'm told that some of the girls use vibrators but this lady does not. The place is full of male businessmen- some of which look a little pickled. One is asleep by the stage.

The night sees us visit two more brothels and a night-club which has go-go dancers - which seems to be a novelty here. The dancers wear very short skirts and dance on raised platforms so that the audience can look at their white underwear. The crowd is younger - but they look very happy and relaxed.

Joshi is now done for the day and is about to call it a day - it is well past midnight. My presence has slowed him down, but he doesn't mention it. He is back at work at 9 and lives a long way away.

I thank him for his time and translation skills and invite him to the strip club that Caroline (the stripper from part one) works in the next evening - but he buts out and we part. Only then do I realise that I am now totally lost.

Heading down the streets that are still full of open shops I look for some kind of taxi stop or landmark. Knowing only that my hotel is miles away and I have been drinking mildly I head to one of those cabin hotels (it is like a dormitory only you have a little pull down cabin) where drunk businessmen and lost journos spend the night. Very comfortable they are too - and probably the only thing in the city that is reasonably priced.

The next day I head for the centre of town to try and catch the schleppers at work. These are young males that make their living trying to persuade school girls to either sell their underwear or pose for pictures ,if not both. This is a popular bank of last resort and many girls do it when parents refuse them the latest hi-fi or gadget. I observe that the knock-back ratio is high - but some girls disappear with the baseball cap wearing youths to god knows where.

Later I visit another sex shop and make an inquiry about the underwear that these guys supply. A series of products were produced from under the counter. Cheap cotton briefs in a plastic bag complete with a instamatic photo of the girl they came off and a snippet of public hair in its own mini bag. I pretend to be in a dilemma and tell the owner that I need to go away and think about it - I didn't ask about prices.

There are plenty of hour hotels in the centre of the city in which to take your wife, girlfriend and secretary. This is the kind of place where people live with their parents and have paper (if not paper thin) walls - they therefore need brothels of their own. The pictures displayed on the boards outside suggest that they are of four star quality.

Another variation is the relaxation centres. These are like mini hotel rooms in which the businessman can relax and watch a sex video channel (among others) and talk to people over the phone. Basically they are places where pimps and prostitutes call to try and drum up trade. Sex on the premises is not encouraged. Some people go there to sleep a couple of hours - before returning to work.

The last night of my trip I go to the Golden Triangle night-club that I have tickets for. The place is clean and the sound system good, but I don't like strippers and never have. They bore me. The presumption is that a girl that takes her clothes of is more interesting than those that keep them on. Not in my book.

As I said yesterday, Caroline was the best I've seen. A real athlete. In the Hollywood tradition I try to see her backstage after the show, but I'm stopped and despite telling them I'm her brother, husband, fiancee, agent in turn they won't let me through. I'm then shown to the door and as I step in to pavement the bouncer respectfully bows. Then I realise that I am DEFINITELY a long way from home.

Peter Hayes writes: Good to see you have been putting my Soho (in London) stuff in the subject column.

The German TV programme Peep has drawn up a chart of the world's top porno rockers and I have been given the result. However I want to keep all the candidates in suspense until I can get more dope on the result and the criteria by which the winner was made. Tune in tomorrow for the results and details.

Pedro writes: Who is the this Peter Hayes and why is he writing most of your column? Is he trying to take over? You better get your finger out because he seems to have better stories.

Kid Vegas Weekend

Kid Vegas writes: This is Kid Vegas, just writing you to tell you my upcoming events. Also wanted to tell you about my Green M & M's. Legend starting 2 weeks ago until St. Patricks Day, have been giving the Kid green M & M's, 4oz. bags complemetry of Legend Video. In the back starting at 8am, they have an employee named Gary who works in the warehouse, takes 50 bags of M & M's, & seperates all the green ones by hand.

So whenever I arrive they rush them to the front desk when my foot hits the floor so does the guy Gary with my M & M's, a matter of fact he dives into the room in front of my feet with a 2 oz. bag in each hand. They ask what the M & M's were for a magazine interview. I told them they are there for my candy snacks when I am stoned. Legend trys to take care of me. So every so often I have been swimming in a pond at this park right? Well just the other day while I was swimming next to this duck. Then I was ask by the Park Ranger, "Hey what are you doing"? So I told him washing off, needed to clean myself with rain water for a shower. He then shouted & by the time I got out, there was SWAT, park rangers, police, detectives, helicopters. Anyway yeah, look at the news. PaPa Vegas just got me out so I may have court soon.

How was the weekend for you, it could not have been as good as mine. I got drunk until I vomited on myself, then I blacked out, yeah, 3 nights in a row. I shot guns this weekend, threw my booze up, got nearly arrested, did girls & stuff, stayed in hotels, went to almost 20 bars, died my hair, shaved my balls, & hung out with Dominic. It was tons of partying & sin all weekend....

Shmuley Boteach on Susan Block

I got to meet one of my heroes, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, this evening. He wrote the bestseller "Kosher Sex" along with about ten other books. He was on a special Sunday night edition of the Dr. Susan Block show.

Last year when Rabbi Boteach visited Dr. Block's show, he was accompanied by many esteemed members of the Orthodox community, including the rabbi of Young Israel of Beverly Hills who about fainted when he saw the sexually explicit art work at Suzy's Speakeasy.

This year Rabbi Boteach was disappointed that Dr. Block had not replaced the sexy art with Jewish art. The rabbi received an angry letter from a Los Angeles religious Jew who wrote, in effect, that the rabbi could be forgiven for going once by mistake to Dr. Block's show, but to go a second time was to sin.

Rabbi Boteach said that all of America's orthodox rabbis had taken up a collection to send him on a book tour to Baghdad. He's highly controversial among religious Jews for his frank talk about sex, for watering down Judaism, and for promoting himself. Humility is a big deal among the very religious.

An excerpt of Rabbi Boteach's book "Kosher Sex' was published in the English edition of Playboy magazine, to the great consternation of religious Jews around the world who view Playboy as sinful.

At 6:50PM, I walked upHope Street in downtown Los Angeles to find Rabbi Boteach and his coterie (including his Los Angeles host Alon Carmel, president of matchnet.com) standing outside. Rabbi Boteach smoked a cigar. He was very friendly, interested in my book and in my conversion to Judaism.

I told him that the nationally syndicated talkshow host Dennis Prager had a great influence on me. Prager also had a profound affect on Rabbi Boteach. They have been friends for a long time. I believe that Boteach brought Prager to Oxford University in 1990 to debate an atheist on the God question for Boteach's L'Chaim [To Life] Society.

Dr. Suzy's hubby Max brings us inside. Dr. Block said she had just talked to Prager on the phone. He's researching his next book on male sexuality. Suzy knows of Dennis, but she does not know Dennis. She has never been on his show or he on hers.

Rabbi Boteach was watching Dennis Prager Thursday night on Larry King Live debate in favor of California's Proposition 22, which defines marriage as taking place between a man and a woman. Watching the debate with Rabbi Boteach was his homosexual brother.

After his last appearance on Dr. Block's show, Rabbi Boteach published an article on the experience.

Rabbi Boteach recently debated Larry Flynt on TV. Though they competely disagreed, they got along personally. Rabbi Boteach was touched by Flynt's affection for his wife, his former nurse. The rabbi challenged Flynt to a public debate in Los Angeles which will take place March 24 at a yet to be decided location.

Seeing firsthand Larry's affection for his wife, Rabbi Boteach realized that Larry was just in porno "to make an honest buck." Rabbi Boteach thought Larry would be hanging out with one of his models.

Rabbi Boteach's wife Debbie, hails from Sydney, Australia. I grew up in Cooranbong, two hours drive outside of Sydney.

Dr. Block told the rabbi about her feud with radio talkshow host Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Dr. Laura called Block a "psuedo-professional porn queen."

Unfortunately the batteries on my tape recorder had run low, so I missed ten minutes of the banter between Suzy and Shmuley before the show.

Right after Dr. Block started the show, Rabbi Boteach took control.

From his ten years hosting the radio show "Religion on the Line," Dennis Prager remembers how it was alway the rabbis who talked the most.

Shmuley asked Suzy, a Jew, what she had done to commemorate her mother's passing. Suzy's dad died years ago. At the time of the death of her mother, Dr. Block sent a note to Shmuley who replied in part by listing the different Jewish rituals she should perform, including having someone say kaddish for her mom.

Suzy talked about inheriting much of her mom's furniture.

Suzy: "I feel that her spirit is more here than ever... She was an artist. She never got to see this place, but I think she would've really liked it. I built this place to impress her while she was alive, and now to honor her [that she is dead]."

Rabbi: "Was this your first experience of loss?"

Suzy: "No, no, but it might be the biggest loss... My husband Max is now my mommy and daddy."

Rabbi: "My brother is one of the biggest suppliers of guns and uzis... If you want to blow up your neighbor."

This brother was in the audience tonight with his wife. Along with a few other members of the audience, he wore a yarmulka (skull cap).

Max: "My father was one of the great gun dealers."

Suzy: "The Christian Right wants to hang the Ten Commandments up in every school. Rabbi Boteach wants to hang them up in every single bar."

Rabbi: "And in every bedroom."

They're referring to Rabbi Boteach's new book "The Ten Commandments of Dating."

Rabbi: "This is the only interview with a rabbi where the interviewer is wearing a rabbi's hat. You're wearing a streimel."

That's a hat made of fur.

Suzy: "I have four of these. Last time I wore my blue one... I'll just curl my little payos [sidelocks worn by religious Jewish men] down my side."

Rabbi: "Back in your Speakeasy, I see that since last time I've had absolutely no influence on you whatever."

Suzy: "Oh no, there is more Judaica."

Rabbi: "But the [pornographic] pictures are all still here."

Suzy: "Oh yeah, I like to mix it up. This exhibit is called "Erotic Art of the Apocalypse," so you'll notice quite a few religious themes."

Rabbi: "Well, luckily, we Jews don't have an Apocalypse. That means there can't be an erotic art of the Apocalypse. We don't believe the world is going to end in a big boom."

Suzy: "Apocalypse can also mean revelation."

Rabbi: "Looking at the word revelation, it takes concealment for there also to be revelation. You first need something covered."

Suzy: "I covered up for you rabbi."

Indeed she did. Suzy is dressed far more conservatively than normal. The first time he arrived, Rabbi Boteach asked Dr. Block, all concerned, that she was going to stay modest.

Normally Suzy dresses seductively for her shows, and does them from a bed. That is where Suzy interviewed me.

Rabbi: "God bless you. I argued with you last time that in order for there to be real revelation in sex, you first need concealment. Modesty leads to intimacy. That curtain which covers the body and says, 'I have a secret to tell you, and I am only going to tell you.'"

Suzy: "Absolutey. And the secret is the word little. A little curtain. I believe in concealment. I call it teasing. Women need to be teased because it makes us come around and men need to be teased because it makes you slow down. But I think you make people wait too long, rabbi."

Rabbi: "They always say rabbis are too quick.

"Look, the biggest thing missing from modern relationships is curiosity. We know so much about each other. This is the age of the spotlight. Our relationships are being drowned in the din of light. We are suffering from too much light... The idea of incremental revelation so people are teased.

"We're living in an age where men watch tampon commercials on TV and women know that their men have been test subjects for Viagra... What is their left to discover?"

Suzy: "The American people know that Bob Dole has been a test subject for Viagra."

Rabbi: "I have no problem with that because he is a devoted husband. And Viagra between married couples is a wonderful thing. But I see a loss of curiosity. The old joke - how do you know who's married at a restaurant - it's the couple who aren't even talking to each other. Because they think they know everything about each other already. There is no arc of renewal and part of modesty is to allow renewal."

Suzy: "I believe in marriage. I'm married and monogamous. I think that people who are not monogamous can love each other. I have great respect for swingers. Marriages that have stayed together for decades... Many of them are ethical good people."

Rabbi: "Let me ask you a question. You're married to your husband. Do you belong to your husband?"

Suzy: "Yes and he belongs to me."

Rabbi: "Well, if marriage is about belonging... Interdependency. The secret of a great marriage is two becoming one flesh while remaining two. Because when you morph into each other too quickly, there is no curiosity left. You're a puzzle that's been solved. You're a mountain that's been climbed. There's nothing left to discover. How can someone be a swinger and say 'I still belong to someone?'

"I make the argument in my new book that every marriage has two fundamental components - primacy and exclusivity. "I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt." God says, if you want to be in a relationship with Me, then I have to come first.' If a man comes to a woman and says, 'I love you but my mother will always have to come before you.' Or 'I love you but my job will always precede you.' I don't think a lot of women will feel flattered.

"Americans think that what they want most is freedom... Not true. We will give up our freedom for a noble cause. We all want to be unique. If you're not the one and the only to someone you are not unique.

"Throughout history people have wanted to be famous. As long as you have a camera on me, Susan, I'll keep on talking... Alexander the Great brought chroniclers along with him on his campaigns. People wanted to be famous for their achievements. This is the first generation in history that wants to be famous for their character flaws. So you have 50 women going on national TV who want to become famous as golddiggers...

"People today are so desperate for attention that they are willing to lose their dignity for attention.

Rabbi: "Who enjoys sex today? The average length of sex between married couples is seven and a half minutes. It takes longer to smoke the cigarette after... When I tell men about the seven and a half minutes, they look at me and say 'Who are those supermen?'

"Why do people enjoy pornography? Because they are sensually challenged. They can't enjoy the feel and the aroma and the sound of sex. They only enjoy the site. Most men are more interested in watching two strangers do it on a big screen than doing it with their wives.

"In Talmudic times, women were not allowed to sing for me because the female voice was so seductive and erotic. That's been lost to us today. Most men complain their wives talk to much. The only time they enjoy the feminine voice is when they pay for it as part of a sleazy industry called phone sex.

"In sex, two strangers are trying to connect. Two people that don't have any blood ties... So God gave five sticky points called the five senses. Five points of connection. Sex is a celebration of the senses. Now, when Jews make love as part of Kosher Sex, they use visual attraction to create the first connecting point but then they turn the lights off. And as the eyes close and the clothes peel away, what's left is a sensate experience. Now that the lights are off, we're alive to the sounds and scents of lovemaking.

"Today women feel inhibited in bed because they feel evaluated and judged. Falling in love connotes an experience whereby I am washed away by a tidal wave of emotion. At one time, a woman would take off her clothes and you couldn't help but be aroused. Today men are all Supreme Court justices in bed. They judge whether their wives curves are sufficiently round, if their weight is sufficiently low, their hair sufficiently bouncy. And the women know they are in the presence of a judge, so they freeze up. 72% of American housewives undress with the lights off or in the bathroom because they are ashamed of their bodies."

Suzy: "Speaking of sensual experiences, have some whisky. I hear that you never turn down a whisky."

Rabbi: "I never turn down a free whisky."

They say Hebrew blessings over the drink. The first one in memory of Dr. Block's mom Rachel.

They sip their whisky.

Rabbi: "January 2000, that was a good month."

Suzy: "We're coming up on Purim which celebrates Esther, a great Jewish heroine. And very sexual. She participated in a beauty contest... She won."

Rabbi: "Today, in the Miss America pageants, they all go to gyms. It's visual. They're trying to look great. These women were probably plump. All the women immersed themselves in oils so they would be soft. Men today want thin women because to the eyes, thin is in. But to the sense of touch, meat is neat.

"When the lights go off, what is more pleasurable? To make love to a ribcage and a bag of bones, or to someone who has a bit of flesh. Women should eat more.

"Long ago, men used to make love with their hands. They used to feel their wives. They didn't need directions in the bedroom. Today women have become traffic cops in bed. They give directions. They're like air traffic controllers. Turn left!

"Today, in the bedroom, communication is verbal rather than experiential. That's why Bill Clinton's such a sexy guy. People wonder why the most powerful man in the world didn't choose more beautiful women? Because he's a sensual guy. He looks at the total woman. He likes them zaftig.

"With Monica, they were having phone sex. Can you imagine how flattering it is to a woman when a man loves your voice and your feel? What do women want? They want to feel good about themselves."

Suzy: "I fell in love with my husband through phone sex. We had phone sex before we had real sex."

Rabbi: "Before you guys studied Jewish texts?"

Max, Suzy's hubby: "I had the same rabbi who did Sammy Davis Jr."

Rabbi: "This is the celebrity rabbi?

"Saint Augustine called the Jews 'carnal Israel.'"

Suzy: "Yeah, he had plenty of sex before his conversion."

Monday night, I watched Rabbi Boteach speak at Cafe Olam, held at the Sephardic synagogue on Wilshire Blvd in Los Angeles. The rabbi asked all the women if they needed a man? About four raised their hands. Then he asked the women if they needed a phone, and most of them agreed.

Rabbi: "They're prepared to acknowledge dependency on a piece of plastic but not on a human person. And why? Because AT&T is always there. Reliable. Men are not."

Lynne writes: When a man lowers the lights to keep a woman from seeing his diseased genitalia, it is easily confused with a gentlemanly gesture to preserve our modesty and ease our anxiety over feeling "evaluated and judged." No non-whore in the real world says, "Yo, baby, turn the light back on, I need to have a look at your dick first." We're just grateful not to have our flaws on display, because we're convinced that, any second, the guy is going to say, "Your labia are asymmetrical," laugh and leave. (Or. worse, call us up in a day or two and say they're no longer interested because our thighs are too heavy or that horrid bump on our nose really turns them off...) Anyone who knows he or she is infected with an incurable disease owes it to their partner to disclose it, bring a condom and offer to wear it, porn star or not. Anyone who doesn't is a common boor but for a porn star to behave this way is unprofessional. With all the guys that want the job, can't we work with male performers who pay attention to their health? When I direct a porn movie, I can tell who to do what with whom in bed. When I'm having private sex with a man, I don't want to be calling the shots (what a great video metaphor), I want a man to make love to me.

I didn't realize there were Jewish nunneries (since when were YOU Catholic?). I am so flattered, you wanting me kept safe from wolves and temptation. If only I could make the choice of exclusivity in that Catholic sense -- married to God, celibate to man, belonging to Luke. How about two of three? I belong to you, Luke. One reason I was so surprised that XXX would put himself in the position he did was that surely he couldn't have failed to notice that I belong to you.

Lukey, what would be the problem if we saw movies we both liked with no arguments afterwards? That it might lead to sex for hours on end? Why does that horrify you so? It sounds like it would make the real Rabbi very happy. Surely you, the ultimate enigma, could keep me from getting bored. Why do I want to touch you so badly I want to cry? Why do I try so hard to avoid disturbing you with "issues" that I forget other men might actually feign the passion I remind myself you cannot show?

The only conclusion that I can come to, my friend, and I'm sure the Rabbi would agree, is that you are Looney Tunes. "I will never make love in the flesh again, I will only worship Luke from afar" may not be a workable position for me to take, but "I won't have sex with someone unless I know them and love them as I do Luke" may be tenable. That maintains the primacy, exclusivity and belonging with very little effort on your part. I will also try hard not to bore you. YYY says it is good for you to go out with women who have nothing to do with porno just for you to keep your perspective on the world. Still I am happy that you will not be getting together with any Jewish childhood sweethearts while you are in Australia. I entertained the thought of NJG doing ballet in the nude. It was delightful.

No, my final lesson is not to "trust no one." This isn't the "X-Files" or even the "XXX-Files." I know that as a Jew you need never forgive me for making a mistake (nor never let me forget I made it). My lesson is that, if Luke will let me, to love and trust him more than ever, because he has taken such special care of my heart for so long.

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    Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

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    Rabbi

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    Rabbi

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    Rabbi

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    Dr. Suzy Block

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    Rabbi

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    Suzy

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    Rabbi Boteach, Dr. Suzy Block

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    Rabbi and Suzy

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    Rabbi and Suzy

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    Rabbi and Suzy

Lolo Ferrari Lives On The Internet

Peter Hayes writes: Dead French porn star lives on thanks to the Internet and you can now sign and on-line book of condolence on www.lolo-ferrari.com.

The site describes the passing of Lolo with these words: "We are utterly sad to tell you that Lolo Ferrari is no longer among us. She, who has been our ideal and the reason for this site, has left us this week end. May Lolo rest in peace. She will remain dear in our memory."

A reading of the book show that there is a mixed view of her passing and some of jokes about coffins are totally tasteless. Among the items available for viewing is a June meeting with fans (in French) and you can watch the video of Airbag Generation - these items are open to non-members. Another Lolo site www.lolo-ferrari.net makes no mention of her passing and includes XXX pictures of her and other oversized ladies.

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    Lolo Ferrari

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    Lolo Ferrari

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    Elegant Angel's devil worshiping porno

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    Lolo

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    Kerri Downs video

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    Kerri Downs

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    Kerri Downs

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    Kerri

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Cosmetic Surgery

Hymie: Luke, the following on cosmetic surgeon Dr. Wesley Harline from the Salt Lake City Deseret News:

Plastic surgeon Wesley Grant Harline surrendered his license to practice medicine Monday, a day before a scheduled sanctions hearing for violations that allegedly resulted in the death of a 76-year-old man last year.

Among the points of negligence, Bowen's findings state that during the Aug. 13, 1997, surgery, Harline failed to provide LeMond with supplemental oxygen even though LeMond had been excessively sedated. Harline's attorneys say LeMond failed to disclose a previous heart condition, which was likely the cause of the cardiac arrest.

Harline, 78, had been practicing cosmetic surgery for nearly 50 years. This was the fifth time in 23 years that he had been investigated by DOPL for alleged unprofessional conduct. Four times his license was sanctioned. He was put on probation twice in December 1977 and again in January 1985, for five years and three years, respectively; suspended from practicing for 90 days in March 1985; and again put on five years probation in 1996.

Those actions came after officials alleged Harline inappropriately prescribed controlled substances to patients, including a juvenile without parental consent; performed second-trimester abortions in his clinic instead of a hospital as required by law; performed surgeries without medical justification or patient consent; and over-prescribed stimulants for weight-loss purposes.

Hymie: Luke, there's a long history of porn chicks going to Utah for cheap boob jobs. Harline, a quack known as "Charlie"...Carriere sent a lot of girls there, so has Eleanor Bucci of Universal Entertainment. Bridgette Kerkove is heading there next Monday (21st) to go from a B to a D. Someone needs to remind Bridgette to wake up and notice the botched jobs from Utah.

Peter Bold writes: I finally have the new site up and running. It's CPChronicles.com It features Layla Jade, Regan Starr and Lena Ramone taking a good spanking, paddling and an enema. I have two brand new girls I will be shooting this month. I am RogerPTipe's mentor and friend.

Party Time In Berlin

Peter Hayes writes: If you happen to be in Berlin during the 18th or 19th of March why not drop in on Molly Luft's 25th anniversary birthday bash at the "Welt Die Zelt."

One of the cities most famous brothel runners and the self styled "Germany's Fattest Whore!" (her words not mine) is going to throw a party at this city centre local - no extra prices being charged says her advert. The festivities will include striptease and transvestive shows and the Mr and Mrs Ass of Berlin contest.

Molly (which is a German - pseudonym for far, round, motherly) is not going to be competing, but one of the judges. Luft is one of top ten brothels runners in Europe and a mine of stories and good humour.

She is getting in to the Internet - but tells us that the English part of the site is not yet finished. Nevertheless she hopes to deliver ML goods - including a calender - to all over the world. If you read German you can find it on www.mollyluft.com

She is very much a hands on "puff mutter" (puff is German for brothel) and she is happy to service customers herself. "While most bosses are rarely on the premises I am there all the time," she says on her website. Her brothel is actually in the old east of the city - but was toterated under the communist rule. Strangely she had a boom time when the wall came down as customers flocked over for her extra cheap prices. Recently she has been cutting prices again so as to encourage "stamm kundin" (regular customers) and has been publicing herself through the local televison and radio.

If larger ladies are not your thing she has a slightly slimmer and younger daughter - among other co-workers - that works with her. Certainly a one-off. Recently she has started her own video series for lovers of older more mature ladies. I don't know if it as available in the USA though and we use the different PAL system in Europe so be careful if ordering any video from any European site - including hers.

Watching The Whole Video

Koolfool@webtv.net wrote: >Does anyone.....anyone..... ever, ever, view the "whole" contents of a >porn video without skipping any scenes?

Pat Riley: That depends what you mean by "skipping". If you mean I jump to the next scene in the movie the answer is no. If you mean that I FF most of the scene while watching and slowing for some "critical" aspects the answer is yes. For example if the scene is between an old parolee or even an ugly young one and a fat whorish bimbo who outlasted her welcome 50 movies ago I know there can't possibly be anything erotic about the scene. Then it's: Is there any dialog that would make the idea that these two are plausibly enjoying themselves or something that tells me information about them? I'll slow down for that. When it reaches the drivel stage I'll go back to FF. Who has a dick in what hole? Where was the cum shot? Is there a nice kitchen layout in the background? For new girls, is that a picture of Oprah tattooed on her ass? These are the sort of residual interest I'll look for. If it's a cute new young chickie I'll watch until I get bored with the pistoning dick and then FF. Most sex scenes are far too long.

> Is anything produced today that >makes you sit through a skin flick like you would sit through Godfather >I and II? Can't think of one in recent years. >I honestly can only remember a few I watched all the way >through.....Gingers Wild Weekend, Daisy Chain, and a few other classics >that slip my memory. Since my eyes were new to the porn viewing, >fast-forwarding was non existant:)

PR: It's not because your eyes were new--although I can't say your choices would rank as "classics" IMO--it's because there's little to listen for or watch in today's movies. I can still take a movie from the seventies that I haven't seen and watch it in real time and not be bored. It doesn't mean it was a great movie or even erotic, just that there's some interest in what happens. Hell, I've even watched a 75 min movie starring Vanessa del Rio, who I regard as a fat pig and competition for Rosie O'Donnell, in real time.

Kerri Downs Does A Dog

I finally watched the Kerri Downs dog video this morning. It's just the perfect way to start your day.

The tape comes from Touch N' Go (T-N-G) Productions in Amsterdam. It starts with this: "Warning: no rights of commercial exhibition or performance are being granted by the sale of this product. Private home use only. Unauthorized duplication is a violation by law. Violators will be prosecuted."

The tape sells for about $60 over the internet. A friend of mine bought it, watched it, and sent it to me.

The tape title is "Animal Sex 2 - Kerri Downs First Dog Encounter."

Kerri Downs is a pudgy blonde who lives with porner Nick Long. The movie opens with a dialogue scene between Nick and Kerri.

Nick: "I just talked to Yvonne. She's coming over with some friends tonight. They're going to have a little party, is that ok?"

Kerri: "That's cool. I hope she brings her dog."

Nick: "Her dog? Why her dog?"

Kerri: "I've always wanted to do a dog."

Nick: "Oh s---."

Kerri: "I've heard that her dog can do really neat stuff."

Two slender blodne girls come in with a runt of a dog named Kerri. Everyone gets introduced. The dog barks and growls.

Nick: "We were talking before you came in. Kerri wants to have sex with your dog. Is that possible?"

Girl: "Yes..."

Nick: "Why don't I leave you girls to work on it? I'm going to get some things done, and maybe have some dinner. I'll check on you later. You girls enjoy the puppy."

The other two girls eventually also leave, leaving Kerri alone with the dog.

Kerri pats the dog and starts playing with it in an unorthodox manner.

Kerri and the dog give each other a tongue-filled kiss.

Keri appears to have bruises on her ass. She enjoys it when Nick beats her.

With her hand, Kerri strokes teh dog to a full erection. The dog sprays liquid on the floor. I am not sure if it was semen or urine.

The dog looks humped over and distinctly uncomfortable while fully aroused.

Nick Long and one of the girls returns. Nick guides the dog to his girlfriend. Nick jerks the dog off onto Kerri's breasts.

Kerri briefly sucks the dog's dick.

The movie ends without any dog humping Kerri action.

The movie concludes with this message: "We're always interested in new models especially females. If you want to star in one of our future productions and to earn some nice money too, just write with a recent full...photo of yourself to Touch N Go. PO Box 531. Mandeville, LA, 70470.

This was a very different tape than the "American Dog Pound" series I've talked about earlier. The one with a girl who bears a frightening resemblance to XXX, getting humped by a dog.

John writes: Luke, according to rame, Julia Ann want to do a her first interracial with Sean Michaels and wants it to be his last scene. Wow, this former vivid gal is breaking loose in 2000, hope it doesn't backfire on her. Most of her fans like her as she is, but I see gangbangs and interracial in her future, a very short future.

Heaven Leigh writes: Hey Luke how is every thing? Well writing from Atlanta Ga. where I am performing at the Gold Rush all week long. So all the readers from Atlanta please come and see me there. I am doing five shows a night and four on Saturday the 18th.

And You Too Brutus?

Lynne writes: I am glad you went to see Susan and Mickey. I had thought you might consider that fun. Of course, I also would have considered it great fun and the perfect way to have gotten together before we went our separate ways, but again our personal issues intervene.

At least this time we each have some. Only keeping me to yourself is one way to do it, I suppose. Me spending the afternoon unavailable for fun was not the best setup. I was set up, Lukey. The result would have to be an attack on me. One way or another. And I don't think I'm very good at "never."

Why would I have personal sex in the dark? I have sex in the dark to conceal my hideous, unairbrushed body from my partners. I haven't had nearly enough plastic surgery to conceal its imperfections. I haven't had time to remove my body hair in weeks. I'm old and am trying to grow back my natural fingernails. You have seen me in the light, and you would never consider accompanying me anywhere, from my old friend Mickey's salon to the Pizza Kitchen. So how can I expect a cute guy to keep his dick hard if he sees me in the light naked?

It does seem that in Oregon they might have more forgiving aesthetic standards, but, seriously, STD's cross all occupational groups, so must always be an issue.

I have no personal sex for months on end and then get stupid about it, other people have other excuses, but as long as we are honest about our occupational diseases people keep learning. We don't want school employees with TB or miners with black lung.

Rumour control aside, I eagerly await seeing the folks at AIM, getting the results of all the various tests for all the STD's known to mankind, and disclosing those results to your dear readers so they understand the kind of fire with which adult performers play. Those who believe in prayer should be asking for a couple of miracles right about now -- that my health is intact (though the funny green stuff in my vagina indicates otherwise) and that Luke will forgive me for being so stupid and forgetting that no sane man would come anywhere near me, therefore I should run from all who approach.

The best ways to keep rumours about one's sexual health from circulating is to not instigate any by giving people diseases. Having a cavalier attitude about spreading them is simply dangerous within or outside of the adult industry. If one considers that I, as an occasional performer, am actually outside of the mainstream adult industry and not regularly tested, I become one of those people porners are warned about.

Who knows what diseases I theoretically could unleash on an unsuspecting porn community? Looking at dicks in the light, asking for testing histories, washing vigorously, using condoms: all are preventive measures for avoiding STD's and all work to some extent, but a person who enters into a liasion knowing they have symptoms of something is probably going to lie about any visual signs of it, their testing results and so forth.

I hardly call complaining about being exposed to STD's "stalking." I admit contributing to my own victimization. Anyone who enters into any sort of involvement with me without keeping in mind that I report everything to Luke shouldn't complain when he prints it.

If I had carefully examined XXX's dick and turned it down because it "looked funny," I would have reported that to Luke as well. XXX didn't know my low tolerance for sexually transmitted diseases, on set or off. If I should test positive for anything, it won't be the first time I've contracted an STD from a performer. I would like it to be the last.

I guess that means no more scenes and no more personal sex with performers. That would mean either personal sex with civilians or masturbation. Masturbation is safest: as XXX says, who can be trusted? I could blow the Pope and get herpes. I've eliminated all computer links with XXX, erased his name from my phone book, etc. and from now on will only masturbate, although I'm having a very hard time coming up with any effective new inspiration.

John Wayne Bobbitt

Email: Hello, My name is Bill Hoffman, I am representing Victoria. In case you do not know who Victoria is, she is the girl that helped set up John Wayne Bobbitt. She is the one who had sex with John while his Manager filmed it without John knowing. Victoria is a beautiful 20 year old blonde, who is a professional dancer. What she is looking to do is interviews over the movie, TV, PRINT, and Radio hoping that it will lead to a photo spread in big magazine. That way she can become a Headline Dancer and eventually Star in her own film. Victoria will give all details in the interview, how she set John up, what it was like with him, How she lasted all that time, and what she is planning on doing in the future. Victoria had given me your contact info, She a gotten quite a list of numbers from Robert. Unfortunately he only gave her e-mail addresses. If interested contact me at TOPSEXAGENT@aol.com.

NJG Returns To Ballet Class

Nice Jewish Girl writes: Dear Lukey: I know I've been quiet lately, it's just that...porn doesn't seem so interesting to me anymore. I don't think it's really as edgy and weird as I once did. It kind of bores me frankly. And I found new friends on IRC that I hange out with.

So anyways, that said I just wanted to tell your readers what I've doing in case they're wondering. I went back to ballet class yesterday! Of course I had to go to the easiest basic class because I still have my hip/groin injury. It's a psoas muscle injury and after class I iced/heat several times. I never would have met you if I hadn't gotten my injury. I would still be in class 5 days a week plus rehearsal.

But anyways, with the weight loss, I wasn't afraid to wear my sleeeveless leotard walking home and I ran into a friend who said I look fantastic. The other day a neighbor told me that I looked beautiful too. I'm not through losing weight though. I want to lose more.

I think I miss you and everything. I should be out in LA in July or something, maybe in June to see my family, so we'll get together and go to the movies. And you can hate the movie like you always do, and we can have another argument.

Anyways, I can only go to ballet class once a week for a while on Sundays. And the school has to move by December 2001 and the rents are so high, and my ballet teacher is worried. I can't live without being a ballerina. And because I've been away for a year she's all cold to me now, like I betrayed her or something and I'm no longer her absolute favorite like I used to be...and that really makes me sad. But she is one of the best if not the best teacher in San Francisco. She needs her own studio. So if any rich guys out there want to finance a ballet studio as a tax write off....send them my way. :) Bye for now Lukey. Love you, Nice Jewish Girly

Rumdar: Luke.... It is great to hear from Nice Jewish Girl. She is back and kvetching like a Nice Jewish Girl (or any girl for that matter) should.

Luke F-rd For Congress

George writes: Luke; I had my heart broken last week by the company I work for. When I go out of town on business, I can only get connected to the Internet through the company's firewall or whatever it's called. I used to be able to read your daily musings up until last Tuesday when all of a sudden I see this page that says I can't read your stuff anymore because of some Smart Filter and the reason being sex!!! And here I thought that they hadn't caught up to you yet.

So now when I leave home I have nothing good to read. In fact I couldn't even get connected to Rame for the same reason, and they don't even have nice pictures to look at. But more importantly, I was hoping to see if you had any more stuff in your column about trying to get elected to Congress.

I haven't seen anything for awhile now and I was hoping that just maybe you had given your head a good shake, and realized trying to become an elected representative of your state is really only a pipe dream and the stuff you were smoking in that pipe isn't good for you.

And I was also thinking, that if you did get elected, and were successful in shutting down the California porn industry, where would a young impressionable fellow such as myself, ( I will be 55 this year), get his entertainment from? Besides, do you realize how many people that you would be putting out on the streets and possibly on to the welfare rolls?

I thought it was the responsibility of every elected official to try to see that he actually did something to increase employment, not try to put people out of work? So you see Luke, you should really think seriously about running for office. There are enough clowns as it is who actually do hold elected positions, and I am sure you wouldn't want your friends, (but if I am correct, according to what I see in your column you don't have a lot of friends as it is), and family to think that you are just another schmuck feeding at the public trough, right?

So keep up the good work right where you are and forget about becoming a politician. There are enough loose cannons running around now as it is.

Lynne writes: I'm okay. I dreamed about you last night. Not sexual. You said, "I've already taken care of everything." I have to wash up and go to work. Edit, e-mail college, pussy inspection etc. Speaking of work, what a great job you do.

Finally I get to read for relaxation. I had the opportunity to hear Dr. Laura on my mom's radio for the first time while I was in Portland. Am sure I will have more. Like Dr. Suzy, I was monogamous in my marriage and very happy, at least until my husband became impotent with the cancer treatment. However, now that I am no longer married, I must do something differently.

Having personal sex once and doing one scene (mandatory condom) in seven months hardly qualifies me as a slut, but my batting average is .500 in terms of being stupid.

I used to have a condom-mandatory company, but I had stopped thinking of myself as a pornographer. I had stopped thinking of myself as a sexually active person. I had started getting used to the concept of "never."

I didn't even realize I'd had sex until the next day! Jewish guilt means that at about this point I should try to blame someone or something for the problem, preferably someone close at hand who can't fight back. For example, I should say something very mean to you which makes you feel responsible for me having had careless sex, something that would send you, in tears, straight to the psychoanalyst.

As an anarchist, I would rather take responsibility for both what I do and say than let the culture determine it. Christianity stresses the concept of forgiveness. Judaism loves passing the buck. ( Remember, I spent a year and a half studying under a Jesuit while in Boston and was later baptized Catholic. I tried hard to believe But I still find the original New Testament philosophy fascinating.)

Chaim Amalek writes: Luke, one of the secular jewish pornographers who read your site recently criticized your analysis of the Pierce essay thusly: "Also your assertion that a multicultural society breeds more crime than a homogeneous one is contradicted by the fact that violent crime is down considerably, at its lowest level in years at a time when our country is becoming more culturally, ethnically and racially diverse."

Actually, you are both somewhat wrong. The strongest marker for violent crime in a randomly selected American community is not, strictly speaking, its level of racial diversity, but the number of Negroes (especially young male negroes) that it contains. A community that is utterly lacking in racial diversity because it is all black likely will be a very violent place indeed; increase the level of diversity by displacing black faces with white, and the amount of criminality and other social pathology will decline. Of course, move in the opposite direction by turning a white community into a racially integrated community of blacks and whites (long championed by liberal jews like Laura), and the level of violence rises.

It is a well established fact of life in this and other countries that blacks commit more crime per capita than whites, no matter the absolute level of crime, and even after correcting for income. For example, consider murder, the category for which the most accurate statistics are available: black people commit about eight times as much murder per capita as white people. And this holds true for other civilizations as well. African cities, including those in South Africa, are very violent places, but not appreciably more so than predominately black cities in the United States like Washington, DC.

In mentioning the drop in the rate of violent crime in many American cities, Laura fails to mention the cost that all of these cities have had to pay to achieve that drop - the mass incarceration of millions upon millions of black men. Our prison population is at an all-time high, and the per-capita rate of incarceration in the U.S. is exceeded only by Russia, with its long history of abusive state power. The cost to the law-abiding has been in the extra taxes we must pay to build prisons to house and feed all of these criminals, and in hiring vast numbers of policemen to protect us from them. (New York City is guarded by an armed force of over 40,000 mostly white policemen - the equivalent of about four army divisions.) And we have also paid for this drop in crime with a concomitant loss in our basic civil rights, as we grant ever more power to the state to defend us from our increasingly racially diverse population. And yet even with all this imprisonment, America was a safer place, with a far lower incarceration rate and fewer gun laws when it was less racially diverse, many decades ago.

Finally, cultural chauvinists like Laura need to appreciate that ours is not the only nation to experience the effects of diversity. There are many tribally diverse societies in the world, and they can teach us a thing or two about the affect of diversity on social harmony. In Africa, people have been facing off against each other on ethnic/linguistic/tribal grounds since prehistory. To cite just one example from Africa of the often catastrophic effect of diversity, the Hutus murdered about 500,000 Tutsis in Rwanda in 1994, all in the space of a few months. Someone forgot to tell these people that diversity was something to be cherished. Ditto disputes between Ibo and Biafran in Nigeria, between Northern muslim Sudanese and their Christian "brothers" to the south, etc.

And lest anyone think I am picking on Blacks to make this point, consider the epic communal violence that wracked India as it was partitioned into Muslim and (predominately) Hindu states, or the violence that persists there to this day within ethnically diverse India (there is far less communal violence in less-diverse Pakistan). In riotously diverse Indonesia, Christians and Muslims, ethnic Chinese and non-Chinese, have been slaughtering each other by the tens of thousands over the last few decades of Indonesian independence.

And let us not forget the many examples of tribal butchery provided by the Europeans. Most recently, has the linguistic/religious/ethnic diversity of the Balkans made this a better place to live? Of course not - these folks would slaughter each other to the last infant if they could. Closer to home, has linguistic diversity (French vs. English) made Canada a more stable place, or has it brought Canada to the edge of disunion?

The grim truth is that where nations have arrived at the sort of racial/ethnic/linguistic diversity that Jewish Lauras claim to prize (except regarding Israel, which jews seem to want to keep jewish), they have become far less stable than homogeneous lands like Japan or Iceland, which have very little diversity and very little crime. And where would you rather live - the Balkans, or Iceland?

All of this is not to say that there is no benefit to be had from the movement of people and ideas across national borders. In the past, you needed some of the former to tap in to the latter. But in a world in which ideas can flow electronically at the speed of light, we really do not need to transplant a hundred thousand Haitians to Florida to gain an understanding of whatever advanced technology and sophisticated ideas that Haitian culture (to give but one example) has produced.

The media-approved notion that unlimited diversity is typically a source of strength in most nations is a transparent lie, as can be seen almost every night with the latest news reports of communal violence from anywhere on earth. Worse, it is a lie that opinion makers and the rest of us are expected to pay public obeisance to, under threat of loss of income (e.g. John Rocker) or other severe penalty. If the only people permitted to note this fallacy in public are the extremists, then it is the extremists to whom thinking men and women will ultimately turn to for guidance should the proponents of diversity prove to be as wrong here as they demonstrably have been elsewhere. -Luke F-rd

PS JDC is correct that the "left" is mostly gone, if he is using that term in its Cold War sense. However, these days, there is such a thing as a "cultural left," even if it is fully capitalistic in its economics.

Laura writes: I'm really getting tired of the ultra-right wing rhetoric of that old Orthodox Jew Chaim Amelek, but than again I find him quite amusing. First of all you contradict yourself, at first you say it isn't cultural diversity itself that causes crime but blacks specifically, than later on you site violence in other countries which have no blacks but do have ethnic and cultural diversity. BTW I noticed how you left out white Northern Ireland which is a religious conflict but you won't condemn the evils of religious extremism. In fact most of the fighting among groups in the world are religious rather than ethnic conflicts, the Middle East is a prime example. In my view religion is responsible for more evil in the world than anything. Furthermore concerning black crime, did it ever occur to you that economics play a role? For example in Russia, which is in the midst of terrible economic hardships and has no blacks the violent crime rate has been going way up. And finally with regards to the high number of incarcerations in this country, a good portion of those are non-violent drug offenders who should not be serving prison time at all let alone the long sentences they are getting. Anyway I'm not a pornographer, but I enjoy watching it. Still a proud secular, liberal Jew.

Chaim Amalek writes: Luke - I have three points to make:

1. Have a lot of fun in Australia!

2. What Laura takes to be an internal contradiction in my argument is her failure to appreciate its two strands. It is both true that diversity breeds conflict, and that in America, black people commit disproportionately more crime than any other ethnic group. I made no effort to examine the reasons for this variance, as I am willing to stand back and consider the arguments of SLJs and others to explain this discomfitting fact. While I did not mention the conflict in Northern Ireland, I did note other ethnic conflicts in Europe. The truth is that in relation to the vast carnage that has been visited upon Africa, South Asia, and - considering the inter-racial violence of our streets, America - in the last half century, the number of killings in Northern Ireland have been numerically much, much smaller. Finally, most of the hundred-million plus human beings who have been slaughtered this century were killed not because of their views on the Eucharist or other theological issue. They were slaughtered mostly by socialists, atheistic totalitarians who used class analysis (Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot) or crackpot biology (Hitler, and to a lesser degree Stalin) to define and justify the annihilation of their enemies. This is not to say that religion plays no role - in diverse Asia, it clearly is the nucleation point for communal violence directed against Christians (most recently in Assam). But on the nation-state level, where killing can be industrialized in scope, officially atheistic ideologies have claimed far more lives than religion this century.

3. Don't think about this stuff for the next three weeks and live like a human being!

Chaim ("old orthodox jew") Amalek

PS Kudos to Prager for taking note of Walter Duranty's crimes against truth. To this day, whenever the New York Times is awarded a Pulitzer, it kvells about the prize previously awarded to Duranty, along with all the other Pulitzers it has won.

Ogman writes: i have to agree with you, luke, that racial and cultural diversity is indicative of crime due, i believe (but cannot prove, of course) to the simple and obvious problem of social ignorance. people in the modern world are very quick to become offended and react - often violently - to these offenses, real or imaginary, which often stem from nothing more than cultural ignorance. for example, it is considered good manners to offer food to a fellow that arrives during suppertime here in the West, but generally good manners for the fellow to decline (arguably); the exact opposite is true in the east, where turning down an offered meal is considered rude and offensive and this is perhaps a bad example, but it is meant to be affable and somewhat insipid, just to prove the point.

on a different but related note, i believe that the idea that blacks are more violent, overall, stems from the fact that they originate from a culture (African) that is definitely more savage than most. this is arguable and possibly controversial, but is also really obvious. after all, africans were brought to america in their savage state and enslaved, so their domestication to our customs and our ways is barely 300 years old. the same would be true if a significant number of us were taken to their lands to live by their customs and their laws; the result would probably be that we would become far more brutally savage and barbaric than they as a direct response to what we encounter. weird, but sociologically justifiable although this does not necessarily mean that it is correct; just an assumption. i don't know.

i come from an area that is predominantly black and i have been here since i was very young and i can definitely say that overall, they are far more violent by nature and culture than most white americans. of course, there has never been a black serial killer, either and so there's that.

March 13

On his nationally syndicated radio show today, Dennis Prager criticized 60 Minutes for devoting an hour to an interview with Timothy McVeigh, who blew up 165 people.

In his final hour, Prager discussed married couples taking separate vacations. Prager believes that couples should generally take vacations together.

Most of the female callers voted in favor of autonomy and separate vacations while men emerged as defenders of marriage and in favor of vacations together.

Prager commended the Pope for his apology for the Church's sins over the past 2000 years. Prager suggested that the Vatican open up its file on World War II so that we assess how much the Church did to save Jews and others from the Nazis.

P suggested that other groups also issue apologies. Western leftists for not sufficiently opposing Communism. The New York Times for accepting a Pulitzer Prize for its reporter Walter Duranty who denied Stalin's Ukrainian famine which killed about six million people.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women and blessed is the Fruit of the womb, Jesus. Holy Mary Mother of God pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Etc.

Goddess writes: Sheesh, Luke, I can tell you're Jewish. There's no "etc." at the end of the Hail Mary:) Just a big old "Amen."

Rotten.com: Yesterday the Pope asked the world to forgive the sins of Catholics, in a papal Day of Pardon. Said the Pope, "Even men of the church, in the name of faith and morals, have sometimes used methods not in keeping with the Gospel". No s---. Some of the sins of the Catholic Church include but are not limited to: Condemning all Jews to hell in 1205 AD Granting indulgences to commit sin Worship and deification of saints The Crusades The Inquisition Extinguishing the Aztec culture Signing the Lateran Treaty with Benito Mussolini Collaboration with the Nazi government, and assisting with the escape of former Nazis after WWII Fostering the rampant spread of AIDS in Africa Graft, embezzlement, gluttony, and rampant greed Sodomy of countless altarboys Not very many organizations have this much blood on their hands. Now that we think about it, RICO charges may be in order. Did I mention altarboys?