Wednesday, January 19, 2000
Amy Fisher To Appear Nude
XXX writes: Acertain young lolita, Miss Amy Fisher, recently released from prison, has just signed to do a nude layout with a major NY based men's magazine. I was in on the negs and she is nothing like she was portrayed by the media. Calm, cool, collected and shrewd. Well all right, the media got that right.
Rob Black - Israel Gonzales
Mike South writes: OK Luke here is the scoop on Rob as I got it from insiders at Extreme. The real reason that Rob is paying off his ex-girlfriend Nikki is said to be because Nikki has threatened that she will go to the police with damaging information on Rob. Most of this information appears to related to the Isreal Gonzales shoot out at Elegant Angel where two people died. Word is Rob knows a LOT more than he wants to have to explain to the police. What is it that Rob knows? Was there premeditation? Was Rob supplying Isreal with something? Maybe Jef Hickey knows. OK Rob you can stop paying Nikki now. Oh yes, and Your welcome.
Rob Spallone vs AIM
Rob Spallone told me by phone Wednesday morning: "Eight people, and about ten more today, are putting complaints in with the Health Department about AIM. The Health Department came up to speak with us, they've called everybody back, and they will be looking into every single thing of Sharon Mitchell driving around with people's blood for five days, for giving out medication, her drawing blood at these shows... And they will be shutting her down if they don't like what they find."
Plumbing Industry Not As Glamorous As Porno Says
From http://www.theonion.com/onion3601/plumbing_industry.html
By Lyle Chester, Plumbers Local 178
I bet you think my average "service call" involves going to a nice-looking house, ringing the bell, and having the door answered by some gorgeous, well-endowed lady in her skimpy apron. You probably think she then grabs me by the tool belt and drags me into the house, where she proceeds to tell me she needs a lot of pipe laid in her kitchen, bends over the counter to show me what she means, and... whammo! Pretty soon, she's introducing me to her neighbor, Mrs. Jones, and telling her that I have just the special tool she needs to fix her own plumbing. This is not the case. Many apprentice plumbers naively assume that the only reason horny housewives aren't asking to see their plumber's snakes is that they have yet to achieve a Master rating in their trade. "Apprenticeship is frustrating," these greenhorns no doubt say to themselves, "but one day, when I've earned my stripes, I'll ask some busty blonde about the water in her basement, and she'll say, 'Yes, it is awfully wet down there,' and the next thing you know, it's party time!"
Mr Web Review & Andy Lace
Hey Luke, Mr Web Review (http://www.mrwebreview.com) here. Seems you've started a huge controversy (something you're no stranger to) with your report, from albeit a third party, on Andy Lace allegedly being at the AMAs [American Music Awards] with Jamaal Anderson. She responds to us at The House Of Truth on the matter. Wanted to let you know what she said. To wit: "Hi, Thanks for letting me tell my side of the story about Monday night. I have been answering calls and letters all day. First I don't even Know Jamall Anderson he is cute but I dont know him. I was not rude to anybody because that is not my style I am kind and sweet to everyone. I just want to do my job and Have fun. Luke F-rd is an absolute butthead for not checking with me first before printing the letter I am easy to find he did not even try. I also do not appreciate any of my personal business being put on display for the world to see and I think that Luke F-rd has no right to print anything about me ever and he owes me an apology. Andy Lace"
Luke published earlier today this: Frankie writes: Luke Hello, I am a new reader to your column it is very enjoyable. Also I am really sorry to read about that aids problem in your business. Just wanted to send you some American Music Awards gossip. My company does a lot of work for one of the more well known studios and I got to set down with the big names last night and by golly what do I see 6 rows in front of me No other then Porn Girl Andy Lace. We had seen her before with her old boyfriend Wesley Snipes around town but we were very surprised to see her with a new guy football player Jamaal Anderson. We tried to talk to her afterwards but she was very rude and just ignored us.
Arnold Potter writes: Hey Jew boy. Screw the nigger girl I dont care who she is with. She is just bitching because she was caught.
Vivid Girl Raylene Dishes
Luke talked to Vivid girl Raylene the other day.
Luke: "I heard that you filed a restraining order on your ex-boyfriend Alec Metro?"
Raylene: "No, I filed an Annoying Phone Calls report. Because he left me 16 threatening messages in one day. He told me that he was going to put on the internet that I am a hooker, which is untrue. That I'm this scandalous whore who cheated on him...even though I have evidence that he cheated on me. He was going to ruin my career and slander me all over the internet. And he kept calling me and telling me that and I was like, you need to stop the phone calls, period. And he wouldn't and so I said, 'I'm going to the police," and that's when he stopped. Because he's an ex-felon and can't get involved with the police. I would never put a restraining order against him because he was in prison and I would never want him to go back there."
Raylene has just got back from Las Vegas. She's dating a Denver radio disc jockey.
Raylene: "He interviewed Chasey and I for his radio show on Denver's Howard Stern station. He's nice to me and that's a new thing."
Luke: "You're used to abusive men?"
Raylene: "Not abusive physically, but abusive mentally. But I'm happy now."
Raylene attended the AVN Awards last Saturday night but can't remember much because she got so intoxicated. Raylene gave Houston a big hug and kiss. Houston used to live with Alec Metro for three years until he shifted to Raylene.
Metro now lives with Farrah.
Mad Jack Does Weird Blowjob Scene
Mad Jack tells me by phone Monday night: "This f---ing 22-year old kid David calls me all the time. He wants to be part of the business bad. He's cool. He keeps bringing these girls around. I did a blowjob scene tonight with this broad who is his sister. She's barely 18. She did a blowjob scene with Mr. Marcus a couple of months ago. She said she did not do guys... She brings her three year old. My girlfriend Tia is downstairs taking care of her kid while she's upstairs blowing me. And her f---ing older brother is standing here watching. Dude, I have never experienced anything so weird in my entire f---ing life. I'm laying on my bed. She's blowing me. I've got my camera guy over here shooting and I'm already feeling weird about this because I look over my shoulder and see her f---ing brother standing there. He's like cool with it. Than my old lady comes up and I'm like going, 'This is way too f---ing weird.' I'm pretty much down with all this s--- but this had to be the weirdest f---ing blowjob scene I've ever done in my whole life.
"And I did a black girl tonight too."
Scotty Schwartz vs Paul Little
Luke talked to Scotty Schwartz Sunday night after Paul Little aka Max Hardcore came to his house and threatened him.
Scotty: "He's a f---ing maniac. He was drunk. I could tell because his eyes were f---ing glazed.
"This new chick Chloe Adams, whom he shot several times, was with Regan [Senter]. And she talked to Anastasia Blue at CES and Anastasia spoke highly of me. Chloe was tired of Regan's s---. Regan would send her places and the jobs would be different and not what she agreed upon. And the prices would be extremely dirt cheap because that is the only thing he can get. So she wanted to leave and to do better work. What's wrong with that?
"So we spoke and I ended up taking her to the airport the next morning. And I spoke to her this [Sunday] morning. Said that Max had called me."
Luke: "How did he know where you lived?"
Scotty: "Because Anastasia Blue lives with me and he's picked her up several times. Even though I am not pro-Max, if a girl wants to work with him, my personal feelings aside, it's called being professional. I may hate this prick, but if a girl wants to work for him, then go work for him. But you know what you're going to be treated like. Business is business.
"Max and I got into it a while back about this girl Gia who had come into Jim South's office. She needed the money and he offered her $600 for an anal scene, her first f---ing scene. The scene is so bad that he can't even release it in the United States. He can release it only in Europe because she's screaming 'No. Stop. Don't.' She's crying throughout the whole scene. She told me what happened.
"So, she was going to shoot for him again. That's when I met her. She begged me to help her get away from this guy. Then about 15 minutes he came in. He wanted to shoot her the next day. She said, 'No, I don't think so.' He said, 'Are you ok moneywise?' She said, 'No, I don't have any money but I'll get by.' And he said, 'Come and shoot for me tomorrow. I'll give you money.'
"So I stood up. 'You know what honey? If you don't have any money, here's a $100.' Well, he didn't like that because I got between him and his business. Then he threatened me, told me to mind my own business.
"I want everyone to know about this. For a long time, I've wanted to have it out with Max. And he showed up and did me a favor. I already have done the legal things. I've called the police and had a police report made out.
"I'm going to go to Legend and tell them. I'm going to tell all the distributors that I am friends with. I think I know New Beginnings and all the General Videos and many others. And they are not going to put up with that s---. They don't need his product. This is not the '70s. The Mafia is no longer here. And if anybody has any pull with these people, I would put myself above Max Hardcore.
"This is going to get big. I need to find that tape of Gia from Europe. Because I am going to get that back here and trust me when I tell you, the right people are going to see that."
Mike South's Gossip Column
XXXGen's loss is our gain. Mike South writes:
Not a lot has happened in the biz in the last month but I have some goodies for ya!
Buck Adams is kind of porns own Charles Bukowski, he is known to be a hard drinking, hard living kind of fellow. Adams, the brother of pornstar Amber Lynn was directing his latest project when he suffered what was apparently a heart attack.
As one eyewitness told the story: "I was standin roun' en I seent da head white boy go down see. He jes hit da groun like he done got inta some bad T-Bird see. Somebody call't a amb-U-Lance en dey drive up en out comes da Pair-O-Medics see. Now dey bringin' wid em dey batt'ry en dey proceeds to hook white boy up see, dey be gwine ter jump start white boy. But I be shakin maw head see, on account a I b'lieve white boy be done gone down town."
Well as it turns out Buck wasn't dead and he was indeed revived. A stay in the hospital and an EKG revealed that Buck had not had a heart attack at all, several days in the hospital under surveillance they still had no idea what was wrong with Buck. Buck was released after diagnosis of a viral infection, possibly resulting from a bug bite.
OK, quick, how many male pornstars have actually made the jump from porn into mainstream acting. For those of you saying Stallone...he never did hardcore porn "Italian Stallion" was a soft core bit, very soft. There have been a few, Ron Jeremy has had some bit parts in music videos and mainstream movies. A couple of guys have had some bit parts in soap operas but there is one male pornstar who did a lot of hardcore and went on to make it pretty big in Hollywood and he didn't even change his stage name.
Here is his porn filmography: AKA No known aliases
Birthday No Data
Birthplace No Data
Performer Credits 19 Titles
As Performer Big Abner
Release Info: Unknown, 1975 Bite
Release Info: VCA, 1977 Come Fly With Us
Release Info: Unknown, 1974 Defiance
Release Info: VCX, 1974 Happy Days
Release Info: Unknown, 1976 Honey Cup
Release Info: Unknown, 1975 Hot Shots
Release Info: Command, 1975 Illusions Of Love
Release Info: Command, 1980 Love Bus
Release Info: Unknown, 1974 Misbehavin'
Release Info: Quality-X-pix, 1979 Passions Of Carol
Release Info: Unknown, 1975 Private Afternoons Of Pamela Mann
Release Info: VCA, 1975 Slippery When Wet
Release Info: Video-X-pix, 1976 Special Order
Release Info: Unknown, 1975 Steam Heat
Release Info: Command, 1979 Sylvia
Release Info: VCA, 1978 They're All Sluts
Release Info: SWV, 1975 Trouble With Young Stuff
Release Info: VCX, 1976 Virgin Snow
Release Info: Unknown, 1976
Mainstream Movies are: Taxi Dancers 1993, Maximum Force 1992, Lock Up 1989, Predator 1987, Firewalker 1986, Fortune Dane 1986, Northstar 1986, Dirty Dozen: The Next Mission 1985, Fleshburn 1983, 48 Hours 1982, The Switch 1979.
He also had bit parts in many movies including Poltergeist. He produced and directed a movie called "Billy Lone Bear" in 1996 He did some television including an episode of "The A Team" but he is best known for his work in movies.
Have you figured out who it is yet? The actor's name is Sonny Landham, best known for his roles as Billy Bear in 48 Hours and Billy in Predator. His heritage is American Indian and he is often cast as a "big indian". There is little known about Sonny, he did perform hardcore in his adult career and was rumored to have married golden age porn star Marlene Willoughby, with whom he performed in some of his hardcore appearances. I attemted to contact Sonny through his agency for an exclusive interview and was told that he has dissappeared, nobody at the agency has heard from him for almost 3 years.
Widow of the late John Holmes, Laurie Holmes has filed suit against John's former best friend Bill Amerson and VCA Pictures over her depiction in the Documentary "Wadd". Bill Amerson made the statement that Laurie Holmes was a well known whore. Laurie took offense to this statement as slanderous and libelous and filed suit.
A famous Atlanta nightclub "The Gold Club" has been raided by the FBI. Indictments have been handed down against club owner Steven Elliot Kaplan for a long list of federal crimes. The 97 page indictment includes counts of racketeering, credit card fraud, loan sharking, interstate prostitution, money laundering, runnng a business exclusively for illegal activities and others. Kaplan is said to have been making protection payments to top level members of the Gambino crime family. Celebreties were routinely treated to sex by the Gold Club dancers. Several dancers were taken to Charleston SC in late April of 1997 where they performed a lesbian show and then had sex with most of the members of the New York Knicks basketball team. Steve Kaplan is free on a two million dollar bond.
Now for the view from the street. Word is that kaplan is heavily connected to the Gambino crime family and the the big 97 page indictment by the FBI is a move to force him to roll over. Smart money has kaplan squeeling like a pig and entering the witness protection program. Even smarter money thinks Kaplan won't see his forty first birthday. Stay tuned.... An interesting side note is that despite all the charges and the fact that Kaplan and his managers were all indicted under the RICO statutes, they feds have not moved to seize the Gold Club, matter of fact it is still in operation. If I were Kaplan I think I would find my way to Costa Rica or someplace.
Congratulations to Greg Steel and Julie Rage on the arrival of their daughter Skylar Morgan Steel. Mother and Daughter are both fine, Greg is recovering.
Jill Kelly and her boyfriend Julian have made plans to get married in June/July of 2000. Jill is now doing girl/girl only except when working with Julian. What do you want to bet Julian can work with any girl he wants? Why do guys do this? It reminds me of the guys who start dating a stripper then immediately want her to stop dancing….Lame if you ask me.
Speaking of Julian, he recently stated in a lesser magazine that the future of porn is in live sex on the internet. If that is so then Julian better be looking for employment elsewhere, at a recent live internet shoot with Jill Kelly and another chick, Julian couldn't get wood.
While we are on the subject what is marriage without children? Shane is pregnant [and married], which explains her odd pose on the recent AVN cover. Shane's once popular series Shane's World has taken a HUGE slide in sales due to her condom only policy and the fact that she no longer does boy-girl or even girl-girl in them.
Have you got a tale to tell? Do you want to tell me I am full of s---? Do you want to hook me up with your young beautiful wife or girlfriend? Well write to me at msouth@mindspring.com and tell me what you REALLY think!
Goddess writes: SORRY, Luke, but I kinda like Mike's style of gossip a little better than yours. How 'bout changing the name of your site to MikeSouth.com? I'm hoping Mike can spring for the "top" link. Oh, and you REALLY need to get out in the sun more, Luke.
Goddess writes GeneRoss.com: "I wanted to tell you that I saw a picture of you (from CES) in your tux, and you looked very handsome:) The pic of you on Luke's site was really good, too, except for one small glitch: the pasty white guy standing next to you. Just because you two are now "comrades in arms"--according to Emmett, who called me a "bitch" over on the glitch's site --BE WARNED that Luke is probably planning to sneak up behind you and smack you over the head with a folding chair. "And the ref was distracted. . ." Oh, and I hope you KNOW that pic I sent to you before CES was just a JOKE. I don't have a problem with your editor's photo, but you're much better looking with that goatee thingy you have going now. Guys are lucky that way--the older they get, the better they look. The older we get, the closer we are to the plastic surgeon's scalpel.
Image:00010649
Luke F-rd, Gene Ross
Anal Sex
Lex writes: Luke, a few things about anal sex and women: First, as far as pleasure goes, there are many, many nerve endings in the anus. You don't need a prostate gland to enjoy anal stimulation. I can agree that most of the actresses don't enjoy anal sex, considering how the scenes are played out. The whole "roll 'em over, aim for the brown spot & jam it" approach, as much as it makes the women look slutty and eager, is very painful. However, the proper application of tongue, finger, toy and lube 9lots & lots of lube) followed by cock gives a lady time to relax her muscles, reducing the pain. In addition, the more times you do it, the easier it gets to loosen up. Most of my girlfriends appreciate ass play during sex, be it rimming, or maybe a finger in her ass while we're f---ing. If you introduce the element of anal gently and slowly, giving her time to relax and feel good about it, she will love it (of course, I'm referring to women who aren't completely disgusted with sex in the first place. You can be a slut & hate sex, you know). In fact, I know several "normal" girls (non-porn stars) who love anal sex, provided it's on their own terms. And anyone who's interested in how it feels can do it on themselves. No, it doesn't mean you're gay. Hell, if you're gonna do something like this to someone, you should know how what you're doing feels. Here's an experiment: In the shower, start playing with your own anus. Gently. Tickle it, ease one finger into it. Relax. You're not gay. doesn't really hurt, right? Ok, now pull your finger out, wait a coup[le of minutes, now jam the same finger in, as quickly as possible. Ouch, huh? That, right there, is the difference between how you SHOULD f--- an ass, and Rocco Siffredi.
Luken writes: I've decided that the true mystery driving the sex industry is that our first experience of sex was universally BAD in some way (secret, naughty, nasty, dirty, etc.) and we decided even as children that SEX IS BAD and that WE ARE BAD BECAUSE WE ARE SEXUAL.... The rest of pornography is just an exercise in proving our innate badness to ourselves by shaming and degrading and abusing each other ad infinitum, ad nauseum. What does Brandy think?
Luke, now that you've decided to play the gay character on l-keford.com, why not give the strong heterosexual lead role to Brandy?
Brandy: I really don't have an opinion on that. But that he asked proves to the naysayers that EVERYBODY doesn't want me to shut up and go away.
Chloe writes: Hey Lukeman, It's me, the original Chloe, and Ruby is here with me for the week, and we were checking out your site for tidbits about my Mom from the awards show, and I was surprised to see that there is another Chloe in the Biz. I just wanted your adoring fans, and mine, too...to know that THIS Chloe is not the one affiliated with Regan Senter, and that I'm still with South, and if anyone should ask, I'm just "Chloe", or sometimes (in bondage movies) "Chloe Nicholle", but never Chloe Adams. Just so there is no mix up...being that I usually don't use a last name. Thanks Luke!! You're the best. P.S. Ruby says to send some young, fun, And hung men up to the Bunny Ranch, where she will be for the next 6 weeks. Bring the Platinum card!
DJX, an employee of Randy West, writes on RAME about Katie June,
who entered porn with her mother in early 1999: "She's in Tenessee,
and can leave the state only upon authorization of her probation officer.
(She was caught transporting drugs, pills, in Texas)
Kady writes: Frank: Correct me if I'm wrong, but Luke F-rd really seems to get off on humiliating/angering people. What's his deal?
Frank replies on RAME: Well, I don't know him, but I'll play amateur psychologist here. Anybody who has read any of his writing realizes that Luke suffers from a massive inferiority complex; hell, even Luke realizes it. The most common way of dealing with an inferiority complex is to put others down, drag them down to the same level that the person thinks of himself/herself being at. When coupled with his obvious guilt complexes, for abandoning his original religious upbringing, working in a subject that he has mixed feelings about and a love-hate relationship with, as well as being a constant reminder to his mother that she somehow failed in her attempt to raise him right; it's no wonder that he's a bitter little man (at least on occassion.) This is why I thought the person who picked Luke as the next porn suicide was showing remarkable insight.
Pigman writes: Look at all the free advertising he's getting. Donald Trump, Don King, Dennis Rodman, et al have proved that the biggest assholes with the biggest and rudest mouths get all the attention.
Luken writes: I'd like to redefine the modern concept of "franchise" in order to offer a new theory of anti-Semitism. Franchise is the secret formula for making a business successful. Modern day franchises, be they McDonalds hamburgers or whatever, have about a 95% success rate(almost guaranteed success), while non-franchises have an almost 95% failure rate. In other words, the brand-name franchises have learned the secret business formula that guarantees success, whereas individuals opening their own private businesses are often clueless and usually fail not only the first time, but often in repeated attempts to open a successful business on their own I propose the real reason that the Jews are hated as a group is first and foremost because they have always appeared to other groups to know this "secret business formula". Thus, they appeared to have an unfair advantage over all other groups--magically, their businesses flourished because they had acquired as a group that extensive group knowledge about what makes a business successful, and shared it among themselves, just as modern franchises share this information with their franchisees today. Their successful businesses thus gave them what appeared to be unfair advantage to other groups whose first attempts at business consistently failed.
I think the franchise idea--Jewish businesses are extraordinarily successful because they are family businesses and thus true franchises(even before there were modern-day franchises)--also explains why Jews seem more prone as a group to take money personally. The stereotypical Jew expects to be treated as a wholesale customer, and not pay the same high retail price everyone else is expected to pay. Why? Because they are business owners themselves(or have friends in the business who are), they know how pricing works, know your costs, etc. and they want a discount dammit, or privileged treatment at a minimum. Alas, their inside knowledge of business gives them unfair advantages at the consumer end as well, and they become dreaded customers who are seen as money mongers.
A second reason Jews are singled out for discrimination is extremely foolish: the wearing of beanies. Studies show that if you take any grade-school class of kids, and give only half of them something special(like a hat), then you can reasonably expect the other half of the kids to hate them for being given special treatment. Yet the Jews will always wear their superior beanies and to hell with the human reaction they will always get from now till hell freezes over, as long as they can make logical arguments! If they had any advertising sense at all, they would LOSE THE BEANIES!
A third reason is that like most religious groups, the Jews believe that only they are the "chosen people of God". They then take it an intellectual step further and believe they are also racially superior, particularly in the area of intelligence, where Jews even make unfounded genetics arguments. True, they had an Albert Einstein......they also have a RON JEREMY. Reasons 2 and 3 are self-inflicted. Jews really have nothing to gain either by wearing beanies nor by coffee table racist genetics arguments of superior intelligence. They need to simply stop doing both of these stupid things, and fall in with the rest of humanity, instead of insisting on "being right". THE HIGH NAIL GETS THE HAMMER!
And you're right, a disproportionate number of nude dancers are Jewish.
Jewish girls rule strip joints! Again, the relationship to money is
very personalized somehow in Jewish culture.