Thursday, January 13, 2000
Fishbein Partners With Hampshire, Spallone
AVN publisher Paul Fishbein is partnering up with Babenet (largely owned by VCA's Russ Hampshire) and Rob Spallone to create a shooting house that will broadcast live over the internet.
Fishbein and Babenet are financially going 50-50%, I believe, and Rob Spallone is going to run the house. Porn girls will be allowed to live there for free. There will be cameras in every room. The house will be rented to shooters at no charge. So folks at home can now watch porn shoots in progress.
I wonder if this Fishbein - Hampshire partnership with Rob Spallone is just another way to keep this volatile New York Jew Italian quiet and away from causing trouble on l-keford.com?
A rep from Astralocean.com writes: Luke, we are ready to launch a "porn house" as well. It's just us honest folks running the show, no "outsiders". I can't give you details yet, but it's going to be better than what I've seen from Babenet. Plus, we're incorporating our new technology which you have seen and praised. Stay tuned....Toshi owns it, I'm taking on yet another project in running it. Oh and Ladies, if you do not have your own porn site and would like to, we have a great deal for you. Please contact me through astralocean.com
Vivid Gossip
A large part of the industry resentment towards Vivid Video is due to their mainstream success. Vivid makes erotica rather than pornography and has higher aspirations than any other porn video company. Thus other porners resent what they perceive as Vivid's uppity airs. Anytime you belong to a group but aspire to join a different group, you are resented by your peers.
The back cover of the January issue of Adult Video News features an ad from Vivid which reads: "86 AVN award nominations, 40% more than our closest competitor."
Vivid PR man Brian Gross denies that Janine is returning to Vivid.
AVN Gossip
AVNers are moving new offices which accounts for the lack of updates to GeneRoss.com.
On Wednesday, AVN publisher Paul Fishbein, a charming man, playfully punched Mike South on the shoulder several times and told him that he was part of the AVN family. Mike served as an AVN staff photographer during IA2000.
Award show after award show, convention after convention, Fishbein and AVN shower fellatio upon porners, like complimentary passes, hotel suites, soft PR stories, etc, thus storing up emotional chits and developing good relations with most of the important people in the industry. No important porner that I am aware of was willing to speak out publically against AVN this past week.
GeneRoss.com loses money for AVN but they have to do it so that porners do not just turn to me for breaking industry news and gossip.
A porn star writes to me: I wanted to say it was nice to chat with you at the show. I have known about you for some time, but I really didn't know you or what you are all about. I would read your site and try to figure it out. XXX and I had a long talk about you and your web site after we all had lunch together. We both feel people need to lighten up a little when it comes to your web site. I don't always like the things you write about, and lot of the time I think you push the envelope. At the same time, that is what makes you successful. If everyone liked you, you would not be so controversial.
By the way, you got some great shots from the show. I laughed really hard at the shot of Steve Hirsch giving you the evil eye, and the shot of Jenteal with the melon in her mouth.
Lisa writes: I heard TJ Hart and Corey Feldman are hot and heavy, She even cooked most the food for his holiday party. I saw her at the CES show and she was wearing a nice rock, what's up?
Emmett writes: I always thought the B-movies Corey has been doing for the past six years were getting nastier and nastier. Hey, this a chance for T.J. Hart to make it into B-movies! Hey, if they ever make Lost Boys II maybe she could be the new vampire woman!
Sana Fey writes: Hey Luke, I noticed in a segment of your past postings, you mentioned I was represented by that asshole Smith from Wide World Entertainment. Please let it be known that I haven't talked to that bastard in well over 6 months. Thank god that someone hit the f--- (for the second year in the row... you'd think he'd finally learn to stay away. I guess it shows his stupidity) I have nothing to do with him or his little side business nor have I ever. Actually, that is the reason I left him other thent he fact of his wanna be agent ways. Please get back to me, as I have further info that you may be interested in.
Emmett writes: Dear Mr. Ford, I cannot believe that lucious red, head, beauty asked you to call her back! Go for it man and tells what she said! I love when hot porn stars like Sana Fey want to vent some fustration and dog the person that caused it. Horray! Sana Fey!
Craig Vasiloff says that XXXGen.com has signed a deal with director James DiGiorgio to shoot future gonzo pornos.
Luke talked to his mommy Thursday night. She'd just read his site and was not impressed, as usual, by the photos of Luke locked in intimate embrace with ladies of ill repute.
I tried to convince her that I was against porn and was trying to expose what was going on so that authorities could control it better but mom was not convinced. She said: "I think you have a foot in both camps. I tell people when they ask 'How's Luke?' that he is the king of porn. And I am not proud of it. Where is that nice boy I used to know?
"I just look at your site on occasion, when I don't hear from you and I want to know if anybody has killed you yet. Your site is boring."
Get help for your hormones from Luke's mom at hormonesonline.com.
Perhaps we'll write a book together - "PMS and Porn Stars." Or "Whores With Hormones."
Ashton Moore writes on RAME: I don't know about other companies but during the time I was with Adam & Eve/Ultimate we always had our wardrobe provided. We had a great wardrobe department and a costume designer, Rita, who was wonderful. She would call me a few weeks before we would shoot and tell me what the director was looking for and what I thought. She would either design outfits herself, go buy new ones, or go through the wardrobe and pull out old costumes. I suspect most major companies operate this way.
Tina Tyler dressed like a nasty vampire at the AVN Awards last Saturday night. She scared the children.
A very scary guy from Scala was at CES talking to porners.
XXX writes: Do you think the Jewish heirarchy in porn is responsible for the lack of Nazi theme hardcore straight porn ? It was hugely popular in Gay S & M circles until the late 70's when it suddenly became politically incorrect . There were any number of Jewish pornographers who catered to that need . Whaddaya say, Luke. Its certainly worthy of your investigative talents.
Latest Missive From Chaim Amalek
Our man in New York, Chaim Amalek, writes: Luke - here are a few odds and ends that really have nothing to do with your web site.
1. It has been many weeks now since presumed Mossad [Israeli secret service] operatives attempted to flush me out, and I put them in touch with you. Have they interviewed you yet? Where does that project stand?
2. And what became of your effort to find and marry a woman in Las Vegas who wants you for more than your great wealth? (And I finally understand why, given your taste in video, you are forever referring to the future Mrs. Ford as your "Brood Mare".)
3. I recently saw one of the creepiest movies in years - "Mr. Death: the Rise and Fall of Fred A. Leuchter, Jr.", by documentarian Errol Morris. The documentary is about a Mr. Leuchter, who designs and refurbishes equipment used for legal executions in the USA. Leuchter also is involved in Holocaust revisionist groups as their "expert." The movie is creepier than any porn movie I have ever seen. (Granted, there are a great many sorts of such movies that I have never seen.)
4. I know a young jewish woman who is living with (i.e., they share a bed and occasionally have sex) a very ghastly looking secular gentile bull-dyke thirteen years her senior. The Jewess wants to return to the world of penile pleasures after four years of wandering in the wilderness of lesbianism. What is the best way for her to rid herself of this accursed sister of sapho, given that she is reliant upon her for rent payments without which, she says, she could not pay the rent on her apartment? (And no, I am not presently interested in starting up with the Jewess, and neither would you be even if you were hetero, if you catch my drift.) On that topic, what fraction of the female population of the United States would you say is really lesbian, by which I mean those women who never lust after men? Perhaps you could poll NJG for tips on how a njg who wants to switch sides can rid herself of a large, heterosexual-intolerant dyke.
5. On behalf of your readers, I wish to express disappointment in you that you did not get laid at that conference at the Venetian. (Which, by the way, is a very very nice place, even if it is being picketed by unions. Were any picket lines in evidence at the conference? If you folks crossed them, you know what that makes you . . . .)
6. You may think that you have your hands full exposing the inner workings of the porn business, what with all the shady folks involved, but that's nothing. If you REALLY want to try your hand at dangerous journalism, try investigating a certain well known South African diamond cartel. See if that Israeli "journalist" can point you in the right direction. -- Luke F-rd
PS Luke, exactly where does that interview with the Israeli stand? I mean, if they have suddenly lost interest in you, does it mean that they really wanted to interview me here in NYC, because I've got a jewish-sounding name? (No rarity in New York worthy of an interview if as "Chaim"; a subterfuge if as "Amalek").
PS I know that this is going to sound like a weird question, but have you ever gotten to look, closely I mean, at the facial skin of a porn actress under ultraviolet light? Luke F-rd
Luke replies: Some porn girls have excellent skin. I think it is due to the high protein moisturizers they absorb regularly. I am making no progress finding a woman, have not even been morally compromised in a carnal way for five months.
I have not heard from Mossad since shortly before Las Vegas. Here is the scoop on our furtive relationship.
On 12/24/99, I received this: Dear Luke, I am the New York bases correspondent for Maariv Daily - the second biggest daily is Israel, which is also regularly distributed in New York City and across the U.S. I could not help noticing that one of your contributors, Mr. Chaim Amalek, has rather an Israeli (or, at least, a very Jewish) name, which tickles my curiosity. His story sounds pretty incredible, and I believe my editors at Maariv's weekend magazine would love to get an interview with him, even if under pseudonym. As I was not able to find his e-mail on your site (which I frequently use for any adult industry information and gossip I need), I would appreciate it if you could somehow put us in touch, or help me in emailing him and trying to get his interest.
Luke: I forwarded on the correspondence to Mr. Amalek who immediately smelled out the correspondent as an Israeli spy.
Chaim writes 12/28/99: "Well, no word from Mossad. I am really starting to worry about this. All that crap about him wanting to contact me because "Amalek" is a very Israeli name. Yeah, right. I'll bet some Shas [Israeli religious party of Sephardic Jews] agents were behind that.
"You know, I have been spending too much time working at this web site. Perhaps I should spend some time catering to the homeless of Santa Monica, who must make do without VCRs and TVs with which to watch the porn I write about. Perhaps I should invite some of them home with me, to enjoy the finer things of life, such as making calls to the pornets I know with whom I am on speaking terms. I am sure that you will agree."
Ten minutes later, Chaim writes: This just in:
> Dear Mr. Amalek, > > Thank you for the valuable information and for explaining your standpoint as for media exposure. I can certainly relate, and I think that indeed, Mr. Ford might make for a great story. I will definitely try to contact him with the idea. If you have any further tips on what might be an effective way to approach Mr. Ford or persuade him to give us an interview, I would love to hear. > > Thanks, again, for your response and input. I'll be sure to let you know if anything interesting happens. Please don't hesitate to contact me with any other story ideas you think might be of interest to us. > > Sincerely, > > Ranan Shaked, > Correspondent for Maariv Daily >
Chaim: So, how do you want me to play this?
1. Tell him you are easy to reach?
2. Tell him that, as an IPO millionaire, you are much too busy, but
that as a favor to the Jewish state and its journalists, you might
be talked into it?
3. Pitch the jew-as-enemy-of-porn angle, so that you become a hero
in the jewish community of LA, winning the hearts of jewesses near
and far? Of course, you could just contact the guy directly. Just
leave word for him at any major newspaper, TV network, congressional
office, or Federal Reserve bank.
12/29/99, Chaim writes: You will be a bigger star than any porner. Thanks to me. Well, here is a copy of the letter you sent to Mossad. Again, I must remember NOT to publish this, if we expect to be able to milk this interview for something. By the way, what happened to your quest to find a bride on national television? Are you still in the running? Chaim- ch I am IamLuke
PS Minnieke Albert Lester Bordello Aardvark sucks ants from holes. --Luke F-rd: Internet Everyman
*************** Dear Mr. Raanan: I have been in touch with Mr. Ford and, although he is occupied with his many projects (including his search for a callah - a jewish bride), he would be pleased to speak with you at length.
I assured him that whatever you publish, it likely will increase his standing in the not-always welcoming jewish community of Los Angeles (and thereby increase his chances at finding a jewish mate). Just email him at luke@lukeisback.com, and you can swap telephone numbers and take it from there.
I think one way of approaching Mr. Ford that speaks to your readers in Israel is via religion. He is a convert to the faith, and like converts everywhere, takes Judaism far more seriously than most of those born to the religion. This is especially true here in America, and in places like LA, where, when one speaks of the high-holy days, people think you are talking about the days during which ballots are cast for the Academy Awards.
Of course, Mr. Ford's further involvement in the porn business is another very interesting issue. I think he sees himself as partly a Macabbe/Hasmonean insurrectionist, leading his people against the Hellenistic Secular Jews of Porn, and partly (from his upbringing) as Jesus, tossing the moneychangers from the Temple. But who knows? I am sure that it will be a very interesting interview. Very truly yours, Chaim Amalek
On 12/30/99, Mossad wrote me: Dear Mr. Ford,
Thank you for forwarding my request to Mr. Amalek. >From my e-mails exchange with Mr. Amalek I have learned that he might not be the perfect candidate for a story on Maariv’s Weekend Magazine (he was the first one to suggest that), but rather that I might actually be interested in writing a story about you.
To allow you a careful consideration, please let me to introduce Maariv - Israel's most widely read daily newspaper. Maariv’s Weekend Magazine is a fully colored, 96 pages or more publication. It reaches about a 1.5 million people in Israel, and is also being regularly distributed in the U.S and to most NYC and L.A newsstands.
Corresponding for the paper from New York, I usually write about culture, society, media and the arts. I also conduct personal interviews, both on the east and west coasts. In over two years of corresponding, I have published over 40 feature articles. Recently I covered Woodstock ’99, the opening of the fall ’99 television season here and the "Sensation" exhibition and controversy at the Brooklyn Museum of Art.
Lately I have also interviewed Mr. Michael Ginor, a former Israeli who became the king of American culinary as he is the sole owner of Hudson Valley Foie Gras, and Mr. T.J Layden, a former neo-nazi living in L.A who have converted and has become a special adviser to the Simon Wiesenthal Center. I also published rather a lengthily article about the year in American pornography.
I believe that your personal story - as a web entrepreneur with a unique area of coverage, style and vision, and, above all, as a converted jew - should make an interesting story for us. The interview that I am suggesting could be held either by phone or face to face, if you happen to be in New York or if my editors choose to fly me over to meet with you.
Israel being an extremely developed and connected country as far as the Internet and New Media go, I believe such an interview could directly affect traffic in you site and promote some of your other interests. I would appreciate it if you could consider giving Maariv an interview. I will gladly supply any further details about the paper, mail you a copy of the paper or fax you an official request with the paper's letterhead. You are also welcome the check the paper's web site, at www.maariv.co.il.
12/31/99 Chaim writes Luke:
1. How big a check? Better send a postal money order or the like, as "Chaim Amalek" does not trust banks or Mossad. (This is a very clever thing, really.)
2. PLEASE tell me that the trigger comment is a joke, and I will forward my address to you.
3. Trigger needs to be demagnetized.
4. The Maariv interview should really help you along, both financially and socially, for the reasons that I have previously noted. Hit the jewish angle, and they will lap it up. Soon, even the most class-conscious jewesses of LA will want to get to know you better. Just make sure you don't fall for a Jessica Sklar-type woman. (This is the archtype New York Jewish whore who ditched her husband of three weeks, Eric Neiderlander, to take up with the far richer Jerry Seinfeld, whom she recently married according to "Jewish" law.)
5. Although this really is NOT the millenium (arithmetic is not a popularity contest), best wishes to you, your mother, your father, your siblings and all other members of the Luke F-rd family for a very happy, gang-bang free new year, decade, century, and millenium. "Chaim Amalek"
PS I am watching CNN on the Millenium, a report from Coco Florida on Y2K preparedness among Christian believers, who are canning (ie, stuffing food stuffs into jars) up a storm. When asked what thery planned on doing this evening, one of them just said that "after our shabbat sholom dinner, we will pray to the lord for guidance." Pretty soon, more Christians than jews will be having shabbat sholom dinners!
DeeRob Enterprises Signs Jack Napier
Dee writes: Jack NAPIER, a 6-foot tall, streamlined chiseled muscular body, weighing in at about 165 LB, born in Inglewood, CA with model looks, a baby to the business but coming in, in a big way, this 23 year old is bringing a new flair to the business.
ANYONE reading this must ask, WHAT COULD A NEWCOMER BRING TO THE ADULT BUSINESS??? ANSWER: SOME OF THE HOTTEST SCENES DUE TO HIS LARGE WORKING TOOLS. POUND FOR POUND THE BIGGEST COCKSMAN IN THE ADULT WORLD!!!!! How big is JACK NAPIER? 14" LONG/8" THICK!!!!!!
Jack has been starring in his own line titled "There’s Something About Jack" via West Coast Production, which has been selling as fast as it has been duplicated. A MUST SEE SERIES!! Jack is one in a million. Full of energy, personality, witty, and loves trying to buckle the knees of the ladies he performs with. He is a superman of such by his demeanor and performances. Would you believe he does not smoke, drink, gamble, or do drugs? And tells the truth. Superman? Watch the girls fly!
Besides being this lady melter, there is more to Jack NAPIER. EXTREMELY energetic and very outgoing, loves to laugh, and because of this, JACK NAPIER’s first impression usually leaves people wondering whether or not he is truly "crazy", or just "high"! NEITHER! JUST PURE PERSONALITY!!!! More information to be released. For any further inquiry, please contact West Coast Productions at 818.595.1191 or Jack NAPIER’s manager at Deerob Enterprises 818.712.9933
DoneDone@aol.com writes: Jack Napier enters porn. A new man with a 14" cock. Lookout Lexington, Emmett has a new favorite now.
Emmet writes: Dear Mr. Ford, Jack Napier is the name of the alter ego Jack Nickelson played as the Joker in Batman(1989). Does this porn star Jack Napier have any facial similarities or personality traits like Joker? After all, I know their is a female porn star who's name sounds like Drew Berrymore and she also looks like her.
Hey Donedone I don't know if he could replace Lex. I have to see him in action but if his cock is 14 inches long and 8 inches thick, then I doubt he will get a lot of action. I don't think many porn starlets would like to do a man of his size. Besides someone that big couldn't be able to shove his telephone pole he calls cock, all the way into a woman. That's what I enjoy watching. And Lex, Nacho, Sean, Jake, and a whole bunch of Eurpean men can do that. I doubt he could.
In 1999 there was huge Asian invasion. Julie Meadows kicked it off in "Up Your Ass 9" and then raged on with Metro. Jazmine turned heads in Please 1, 2, and3. Jade Marcella for Max Hardcore and Annabolic as well as various other titles. Then Sammi Moon finished last. I wonder what culture craze will be for this year? So far Latino hype is rocking this nation.
Dr. Suzy Block's Naked Truth
DrSuzyblock.com writes: This Saturday, January 15, 2000, starting at about 9:30 PM (PT), The Dr. Susan Block Show will feature Speakeasy Gallery artist Eban Lehrer whose vibrant, sensuous paintings are part of the Speakeasy Gallery’s current exhibit “Erotic Art of the Apocalypse.”
While talking with Dr. Block about the dynamics of Sex and Violence in Art and Entertainment, Mr. Lehrer will demonstrate his exceptional body-painting talents by painting the naked physique of Tera Patrick, Penthouse Magazine's gorgeous February, 2000 "Pet of the Month" (on newsstands now). Dr. Block will also interview Ms. Patrick, a registered nurse as well as one of the top nude models of the third millennium.
Also featured on the 1.15.00 show will be Troy Kline and Joe Bice, authors of Chippendales: The Naked Truth. Between interviews, Dr. Block will take questions from her television and Internet callers, as well as her in-studio audience. After the formal part of the program, she’ll invite studio-audience volunteers to experience Mario Saucedo’s notorious “Bondage Cross” and other exciting pieces of interactive art in the Speakeasy Gallery.
National Film Board of Canada
For the past two years, Paul Cowan, a director with the National Film Board of Canada, has been prowling around the porn industry on a $400,000 budget. He's now editing his final cut.
In 1982, Cowan made a highly controversial documentary questioning the war record of a Canadian WWI fighter pilot. He was widely pilloried.
Today's Wall Street Journal writes about the NFB:
Anyone who's watched the Academy Awards telecast over the years and hasn't gone to the refrigerator during the reading of the nominations for best documentary and best animation has grown used to hearing these words: "Produced by the National Film Board of Canada."
The NFB, as it's called, is a unique entity on the world film scene -- a government agency, founded in 1939, that has consistently turned out hard-hitting documentaries and astonishingly creative animation along with advances in film technology and, at one point in its history, feature films.
The NFB's independent stance sometimes led to films that took a radical viewpoint and brought down the wrath of government and citizenry. The 1982 film "The Kid Who Couldn't Miss" questioned the war record of World War I air ace Billy Bishop and wondered about the need for heroes. Veterans groups were enraged and the Canadian Senate held hearings on whether the film should be withdrawn. One newspaper columnist called the filmmakers "a gaudy motley of artistic charlatans who belonged to the loony left . . . pacifist-socialists . . . chicken-hearted poltroons and geriatric hippies."
CES Report
Tanner chick writes on RAME: Someone from Wicked told me that Jenna showed up for 5 minutes, saw what she had to sign, didn't like it and dug out. I never saw her once in the 4 days. I must say that Stephanie Swift looked gorgeous and talk about photogenic, even though she was super sick. All my pictures of her came out awesome. She's such a sweetheart, I hope she is feeling better. Love her!!!
I know there's alot of Serenity fans here. But after 3 years of CES, I still think she is goofy looking. All the pictures I take of her in the last 3 years never do look nice. She's gorgeous on all her promotional stuff, boxcovers ect. She never fully smiles.
I also noticed that alot of girls where signing at a couple different booths through out the convention. Some girls where signing at different booths everyday. This year was a great show. But is it me, or does it seems like there's not really anybody super exciting.
Vivid seems to have a few new girls and sort of boring. The new contract girl Skye was fun and I really liked her. Kobe looked great and it's always a pleasure to see her.
I'm a straight girl who loves boys, so the highlight of my show was Vince Voyeur at the Anabolic booth. That man is just beautiful. I just wish I stuck around a little longer to chat more with him. I sort of just ran off to take care of other business, but if he ever finds this thread. I'm the exotic cutey with the gray eyes that was probly drooling all over him and super star structed. (Only when meeting him anyway. I never get all "goo-goo.") He is the man! Anyways... Despite Jenna not showing. Wicked seems to be becoming, in a major way. Sweeping all those awards at AVN awards!!! Also everywhere you turn there seemed to be a Wicked shopping handlebag. Even at the Venetian Hotel on AVN awards night! The bags were layed at the parking garage elevators and the entrance to the hotel on the ground!? Now that's PR!
Luke: Wicked is my favorite adult company. They have the integrity of VCA and the marketing PR savvy of Vivid. They treat people beautifully and do everything first class. And Steve Orenstein, if you need to borrow money, shoot me an email.
Luke's All-pro team: Quarterback - AVN publisher Paul Fishbein. Running back - Jenna Jameson. Fullback - Rob Spallone. Center - Russ Hampshire. WRs - Sky, Bunny Luv. The four blockers all come from the net - Greg Dumas (IGallery), RJB (MaxCash), Ron Levi (Cybererotica), Andy Edmond (SexTracker.com).
Adult Video News Awards Hilarity
Adult Video News threw an internet awards party Tuesday night at the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas. Internet porners had never had such a lavish awards show before, but they were highly skeptical of the awards results. Though they were not as ludicrous as last year's when FF5 won for Best Overall Site when it had only been up a few days and was not even one of the top sites of Voice Media, which also hosts Cybererotica.com, probably the porn net site with the most content.
AVN has the consulting services of a board of 12 top internet porners but they did not take advantage of their expertise in choosing the awards beyond one conference phone call.
About every time an internet award was announced Tuesday night, net porners said "huh?"
Many internet porners boycotted the awards, regarding them as bought awards on par in integrity with the AVN video awards. The big sponsors of AVN's IA2000 convention swept most of the awards and award nominations.
Ron Levi's Cybererotica.com appropriately won for Best Marketing. The phone sex veteran is a marketing phenom, "the Russ Hampshire of the internet" according to Paul Fishbein, meaning Ron is probably the most respected net porner.
The Wasteland guy, Colin Rowntree, won two awards which he did not feel he deserved.
From www.avn.com: "I'm dumbfounded," said Colin Rowntree of Wasteland.com, which runs Fetish Information Exchange. Wasteland.com also picked up a prize for Best Fetish Site.
Four of the biggest adult film stars presented the awards - Misty Rain, Jenna Jameson, Kobe Tai, and Taylor Hayes, all of whom were in high spirits and a few of whom couldn't resist taking potshots at Internet Entertainment Group's embattled leader, Seth Warshavsky.
IEG received a few nominations, which prompted Jameson - alluding to allegations involving chargebacks and non-payments among others - to crack, "Could I get my check, please?" That crack drew the largest and loudest laugh of the night.
Jameson and Tai teamed up to present Best E-zine (to VaVoom), Best Site Design (to Ble Kittens), and Best Marketing Awards (to Cybererotica), sustaining good humor throughout, as did Rain and Hayes presenting Best Video Site (to Videosecrets), the People's Choice Award, and Best Overall Site.
Following is a complete list of the AVN 2000 Adult Internet Awards winners:
Best Overall Site: Space Amazones.
People's Choice Award: Pulp Phantom.
Best Video Site: Videosecrets.
Best Marketing: Cybererotica.
Best Site Design: Blue Kittens.
Best E-Zine: VaVoom.
Best Educational Site: Fetish Information Exchange.
Best Personal Site: Danni's Hard Drive.
Best Multimedia Site: Boys Own.
Best Hardcore Site: Kara's Adult Playground.
Best Community Site: NetPond.
Best Site Concept: RetroRaunch.
Most Humorous Site: Pulp Phantom.
Best Gay Site: Chisel.
Best Fetish Site: Wasteland.com.
Best Links Site: Wet Place, YouHo! (tie)
Best Photography Site: Suze Randall.
Best Gaming Site: Let's Play Doctor.
Best Retail Site: DVD Empire.
Luke: The designer Alan from Gamma won two awards which he did not believe he deserved.
The AVN staffers who selected the winners fell for pretty designs over content.
IEG was the butt of many cutting remarks at the awards show. Taylor Hayes wanted her domain name back. Porners hate IEG's dishonest ways.
Since 26-year old Andrew N. Edmond of sextracker.com bought YNOTnetwork.com, 17 companies have approached him to buy them. Only in net porn 18 months, he will buy three more companies this month. Edmond will have about 100 employees.
"I'm much more of a Steve Case than a Larry Flynt," says Edmond. "I've been to one photo shoot in my life and I was like, show me the money. I am more interested in the money than anything else."
I walk by the Hanco booth past AVN where I spot this tall sexy business-minded woman in a tight black dress. I look down at her legs and past her tight firm bum to her face and back down again. This guy standing next to her tells her, 'Jeez, you should've seen Luke F-rd checking you out.'
I seize the opportunity and meet the tall sexy smart AVN computer programmer Juliette Loews, who ripped me in a post a couple of months ago.
To show my good will towards her employer, I go looking for and locate Keri Windsor on Juliette's behalf. Keri conducts the interviews for AVN's IA2000.com website. With cameraman Mark Stone of Moonlight, she broadcast live over the net throughout the convention.
I've met so many attractive smart women (including that redhead who covered the Jill Kelly gangbang in June) who work for Adult Video News. I think it would be the ultimate to seduce one of these beautous AVN chicks and f--- her in Paul's building. That would be the ultimate 'f--- You Paul Fishbein.'
What's the deal with AVN? Does a woman have to give Paul wood before he hires her? Hey Craig Vasiloff, how about giving me a budget so I can hire some chicks as sweet as Paul's personal secretary Lisa Love? I want an answer now, dammit! You have Allison Young and Kendra and Vanessa, give Luke the f---ing scoop!
I've interviewed most of Lucky's [Pork Smith] girls, now I want to interview Lukey's girls. Email Luke with the job requirements and interview regime for selecting a Lukey girl. Ideally, I think, this woman should come from a background in Orthodox Judaism, be well versed in Talmud and be able to suck a golfball through a garden hose.
Juliette, if you are reading this, please know that you have my heart, mind and soul. You are totally hot. Are you taken? If not, would you mind converting to Judaism and becoming my brood mare? You can come live with me and I'll take you away from all that AVN crap.
Pornoman writes on condomproject.com: "This convention was easily the best one yet as far as accomadations.. rooms were killer, convention area was amazing, parties etc were great.. finally a place that could handle the show.. every convention should be held at the venetian.. I think CE's booth was the size of the last convention center alone."
Porners talked about the large Hanco booth owned by Price Hanson. According to rumors going around the convention, Price is a Southern farm boy whose dad won $27 million in a lottery and gave him five million. Price threw a well attended David Lee Roth concert Tuesday night.
Hanco has 20 employees, and a wide array of content with the best technical quality video streams I've seen. Hanco has the exclusive license for the content of Rob Black's Extreme Associates.
Hanco's root site is primextc.com which offers a wide array of well-laid out high quality original content. Also, hancoent.com.
Robert Wood shows me the site and says: "Luke, if you come to this interface, you can type in a key word and get video clips related to the topic."
Nine out of ten net porners at the convention, I estimate, had not heard of Hanco until this IA2000. Price and his associates attended the last IA2000 six months ago as research. A few weeks before, Price decided that the porn internet was the place he'd make his mark.
Net porners, like all people, are skeptical of newcomers and Hanco has more than its share of detractors who predict that it will take five years for him to make back the money he spent on this year's show, estimated by various sources at around $500,000, the most of any net porner this convention.
I hang out with Price and his Hanco and Extreme people beside the AVN booth.
Net porner XXX says that now that AVN has taken control of IA2000, the convention has become less business oriented and more porney, with more girls signing at the booths and more nasty content. As opposed to Steve Hearn's more staid show.
XXX: I would not submit my sites for AVN award nominations because I do not think their awards have integrity.
Luke's impression is that the internet porners are a smarter, younger, more professional group than their video peers. The IA2000 was a trade show, the CES adult convention was a bizarre zoo. I enjoyed both.
On the Ed Powers radio show in August, AVN publisher Paul Fishbein said that I played a very small role at the AVN sponsored conference for manufacturers in Cancun, Mexico, in April, 1999. My name was only mentioned for two minutes. Four separate sources have now informed me differently.
My name came up at the conference and Fishbein, at the podium, flipped. He just lost control and ranted for a couple of minutes about how he was going to sue me. Then he regained his composure. Paul admitted his rant was off topic. Then others jumped in about me. Gene Ross ranted against me, I hear, and Edward Wedelstedt made his death threat against me and other remarks. Steve Hirsch spoke against me. I was the topic for about 40 minutes until a few people said, 'Hey, Luke has won. All he wants is for you to talk about him.'
I run into Chelsea, girlfriend of Axel Braun, who won a dance contest in a gay bar Tuesday night.
Her friend Taylor St. Claire is now doing guys.
At 4:00 AM Wednesday morning, Sky was playing blackjack with Paul Fishbein at the Venetian.
Luke: "Did you guys have sex?"
Sky: "No... Everybody asks me that."
Chuck Martino and Sky hung out into the morning hours. She demands they go buy french fries.
I do lunch with Chuck and Sky and get the scoop.
Chuck: "No drinking... We haven't been getting f---ed up at all."
Luke: "You haven't been getting f---ed?"
Chuck: "Not f---ed up, on drugs or alcohol."
Sky: "I want to get DP'd by Tom Byron and Rob Black... This whole industry is about fantasy."
Sky says Tom Byron came by and gave her his card.
Sky replied: "I don't want your card. I want something else of yours."
Vivid co-owner David James is almost an invisible man. He never comes to the conventions. He simply runs his little DVD department. About three Vivid employees are happy with their jobs, one of them is net guru David Schlessinger.
I hear that Rob Black is paying off his ex-girlfriend Nikki on a regular basis to prevent her from going to the police with damaging information about him.
A couple of days ago, Rob Black told Mike South, who broke the above, to stop writing about him.
New Wicked girl Devinn Lane has a fundamentalist Christian preacher for a father. They just found out about their daughter's new occupation. In October of last year, Howard Stern was doing a show on the gay children of fundamentalist Christians. Devinn's gay brother called and said that his sister was on the cover of the October Penthouse. Devinn and her brother came on Howard's show the next week.
Devinn's parents flipped out on the news and disinvited her to Thanksgiving dinner.
VCA contract girl Nikita went to art school in Russia. She has a painting she did of Nina Hartley hanging on her wall. Vicca and Nikita, represented by Lucky Smith, are two smart smart sophisticated funny girls. They are not satisfied with the meager productions they're getting from VCA and want to buy their way out of their contract. They're sick of playing Russian spies.
I run into a furious Bernie Oakley, formerly of Adam & Eve and now with Lucky Smith's Risque.com, who threatens me: "If you write anything bad about my wife, I'm going to break every bone in your face." Bernie's a homocidal maniac.
3PM: A tattooed tall imposing AVN staffer walks by with AVN VP Darren Roberts and yells that I should be buried in the desert.
I asked Dustin Flynt how he was doing and he said, "Terrible."
Vivid girl Lori Michaels writes: Hey Luke, Ready for some gossip. Below is part of an email from a fan who was at the ces show. I really think this is bull s--- and shouldn't go on. Evidently, some escort company had a booth and was getting names for their girls to contact after show hours:
"Oh, the other funny story for ya. Did you notice the booth directly across from the main Vivid stage side that was one of the Vegas escort services providing dancers to your doorstep. I forget the company name. Well, they had some sort of raffle going that I signed my name up for and they wanted hotel info, etc. for contacting the winners. Well, around midnight Saturday, the phone rings (I'd hoped it was you, hehe..teasin'!) and they drew my name to receive a free visit from one of their girls. The only "small?" catch was that I would have to tip the girl $200-$400 after she arrived so the prize was really waiving a $150 agency fee. Darned girl sounded sexy as hell on the phone but one night is not $200-400 worth of sexy to a broke man, lol. Although I was definitely horny enough after all I saw out there."
I've had a ton of email from fans saying that they will never go to an AVN awards banquet again. After paying $180 they were able to get a few microwaved egg rolls, mini pizzas and some cheese. Someone said that there was a few shrimp and chicken on a stick that lasted for a few minutes. I never had a waiter come to my table and my plate stayed on the table until the end of the awards. I went to the bar and ask for a coke, and they charged me $3.50 for half of the can. The bar tender said that everyone was suppose to have two drink tickets, but to my knowledge no one received them. I asked the bar tender for the rest of the coke in the can and he said "you're in Vegas now sweetie, the $3.50 is for the glass not the can. So how would you feel if you were a fan and had paid $180 and couldn't even get a glass of free water or a decent meal out of it?
I was reading your column this morning and want to say that Howard at Vivid has never mentioned you to me. They know I write to you and it doesn't seem to bother them as far as I know.
Now, another personal feeling about AVN. I love the way they tell everyone their site is nominated for some type of award, and then expect you to put their banner on your site so people can vote, etc. Can performers, etc not figure out what they are doing. It's similar to some sex site saying your site has been nominated as site of the week, and then you put their banner on your page. I just can't believe how ignorant people are and fall into it.
I WONDER IF THOSE BANNERS ON AVN'S SITE ARE GETTING COMMISSION CHECKS FOR SIGNUPS THAT AVN SENDS THEIR WAY? AND I WONDER WHERE AVN IS GETTING THEIR TRAFFIC FROM? MAYBE IT'S ALL THOSE BANNERS TELLING PEOPLE TO GO TO AVN TO VOTE FOR THEIR SITE, ETC.
I think I have told you that I haven't found one honest adult company run web site out there. I used to put up banners and was suppose to get a commission for people joining their site. I won't go thru the details, but I haven't found an honest one yet.
DO YOU HEAR THAT AVN? WHY DO YOU RATE SITES ON THEIR LINKS? WHO WANTS TO LINK A BUNCH OF CON ARTISTS? WHAT DOES A LINK HAVE TO DO WITH CONTENT AND DESIGN OF A SITE.
YOU WANT AN EXAMPLE: I used to send traffic to a site called Vegas Live. I had over $30,000 in commissions due. They told me the manager was making fake accounts and then writing my commission checks to to the fake accounts and cashing them. When I asked what they were going to do about it, I was told "nothing they could do".
So now days I protect my vip members, don't put any links on my web site, and pretty much depend on my name and search engines for my hits.
I want to ask you another question? I have been told that the people who review the movies for AVN know no more than some guy who volunteers his services and thinks that he is an expert because he sits a watches porn movies. I made an effort these last two months to look at some of the reviews and then look at the movies. I must agree that they don't have "experts" reviewing movies. It looks to me that some of them rate a movie on how much cum a girl puts in her mouth, etc.
HEY GUYS, HAVE YOU EVER REALLY HAD SEX? SEX IS KISSING, PASSION, SEXY TALK, ETC. NOT SCREAMY OUT "f--- ME" AND ALL KINDS OF FAKE MAONING. YOU NEVER EVEN MENTIONED SOME OF THE SEXIEST SCENES IN THE MOVIES I CHECKED OUT!
Hey Luke, I feel better. Just wanted to get that off of my chest. I'll have my web cam from some video I took at the ces show running tomorrow on my web site www.lorilive.com . See how I got my web site link from your site? Cool, huh?
Luke: Dear Lori, Lynne L-patin thinks that AVN has a bunch of woman hating homosexuals reviewing movies for them. So they are really into movies with degrading and painful anal sex. That's how you get high ratings from AVN.
For honest webmasters, check my ethics rankings. There are excellent sponsors, like cybererotica.com/money.htm
It was good to finally meet you Lori, after months of correspondence.
Lori replies: I thought it was you, but I couldn't hear a thing with all the noise. I don't do the party thing after work, so wasn't tired. I did have a sinus infection or something from the plane trip. Everything went into my ears so with the music and the ears I had to just smile at a lot of people and act like I knew what they were saying. Is that you in the pic with me on your site? If so, you look a little different in person than that pic on your site. Still a good looking guy, just different in person.
You know, Vivid has been really nice to me. They always let me pick the actors, etc. They pay for my rental car, all expenses, and fly my out to la for the movies plus pay me rather well. Howard came up and told me "Lori, I don't think anyone ever tells you, but your movies sell a lot better than most". I thought that was nice of him to tell me that out of the blue. The DVD department said they are converting all of my films over to DVD by the end of this month. I want you to tell me what you think of "The Shooter " when it comes out and give me your honest opinion? OK? I made love in those nine scenes naturally. No fake moaning, etc. My acting is still nothing to write home about, but Todd really helped me out and took his time. He said that he thought it would be nominated for best video next year, but maybe he was just stroking me. Hehe I loved to be stroked.
Rebecca Bardoux writes Luke: Hey what's new, At first I was sad about not making to the show but having hearing all the stuff and reading stuff on your website I feel better then ever. Has this industry always been a joke, and when I was in it I didn't see it? Do all starlets of the year get bitter, after my years in the industry I say yes. What do they think, you get what you f--- for. Also, leave Jenna alone take that time to improve on yourself you people are obessed with her. The more you hope for her to fail the stronger she get's. And she has a great ass. Sometimes you just have to fight right or wrong, Also, Feleicia was in the fight too but you didn't talk about her and I hear she is a real bitch. Thinks she is so great because she spent the day at David Lee Roth's house almost nude with him. What about that?
IA2000 Pictures
Toshi Gold Moves Into The Net
Owner of Astral Ocean, rocker Toshi Gold, has invested hundreds of thousands of dollars and hundreds and thousands of hours moving into the internet. He's set up netbroadcastservices.com which will encode video and other original media such as DVD into various formats for internet broadcast such as Windows Media, RealPlayer, QuickTime4, MPEG and mp3.
His encoding process offers up to 30 framers per second and real-time movies in stereo sound with no downloads. The video will be streamed. I took a look at his technology at CES and it appears among the best around, though it still falls short of video and TV quality. I've yet to see any form of video streaming over the net that is of a high enough quality that I would take the personal time to watch. Even with my cable modem.
Luke Gets Mail
Peter Luther Christian writes: Dear Mr. Ford: You appear to have cast aside all pretensions of being an outside observer of the world of pornography, with your cheer-leaderish coverage of the fornicators' ball in the fornicators' city.
But then, perhaps sensing the depth to which you have stepped into the mess, you attempt to pull back a bit: "I winced before and after writing that hurtful gossip . . . . they [the porners about whom I spread gossip] should leave porn and join communities where gossip is regarded as a sin. . . . Within my religious community, I gossip relatively little but in my work, I treat the porn biz on its own terms. [i.e., I gossip]"
You seem to be positing two levels of morality, a high, gossip-eschewing standard to be applied in-group to your "own kind" - i.e., religious jews, and a second to be applied to the very group of people off of whom you earn your living - the physically and morally diseased people of porn.
Mr. Ford, you know both from your upbringing and your recent studies of Old Testament Law that God applies all of His laws, all of the time, to all people, Christian and Jew, the chaste as well as the pornographer. There is but one set of ten commandants and related moral standards, not one set for those whom we approve of and another set for those of whom we do not. Do not do unto others that which is hateful to you!
Lord Peter Luther Christian, OBE, WWJD?
WWJD = What Would Jesus Do?
Goddess writes under the header "Luke and Gene sittin' in the tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g."
She continues: "Why would Paul Fishbein and Darren Roberts tell the talent not to speak with you, yet have no problem with you and Gene talking? Or did they paddle his ass and send him back to the warehouse with no supper after reading your site?"
Emmet writes: Dear Mr. Ford, I try to be nice to people like Goddess and Bianca Trump and this the thanks I get! Mr. Ford I cannot figure out why they do not understand my letters. Yes, I do make grammer blunders, but their not that bad for a person not understand them. Maybe they should think for a while before replying back.
But let me start with let met start with Goddess.... I have several forms of talking and writing. One is the professional way, second is the intermediate way, and third is a vagrant way. The vagrant way is an extreme rarity when talking and writing. When I email Mr. Ford I prefer to speak the professional way but now I am starting to love to speak with my "gut" instead of using words like "recalcitrance" all the time.
People like "Dumbass" can sum up the way they feel in a few words compared to someone like me, will take a few pages. How many people know what recalcitrance or beleagured means without picking up a dictionary? I also make it lengthy because I do know want to just attack someone for know reason or sound to bias, which and be quit tiring at times.
When Mr. Ford and others read my comments, they do not want to be bored with "million dollar" words, which people use say to me lot with great venom. Sometimes I like to make it funny and short. So I will say this again... EMMETT IS NOT Luke F-rd!! THIS IS NOT A STUNT TO PULL MORE PEOPLE TO THIS SITE OR RAISE ANGST!
The vagrant side of me wants to curse the hell out of your incognizant ass for making a comments like, "poor guy" and "have your future kids avoid my college like the plague!" I am in one of the top colleges of this country! But I will give you a break BITCH. But try to be more careful next time please. Now for Trump
I get no respect. Dear Ms. Trump, Since you are older then me, I will try to be polite. The letter I typed on 1.11.00 was to your defense, but the main essence was for many other women and men out their who judge each other harshly on the bases of sex and occupation. Especially the both combined. After reading some of your comments & actions in Mr. Ford Archives and your 9min interview with Vince Voyeur and Mark Davis in "Nasty Nymphos 22", I am fully aware you can take care of yourself and do not need someone to come to your aid. But his attitude is what millions of other men have right now about women and what's worse is that they seem to take great joy with this odious attitude.
I hated the fact what he said about you and other women (Even though he did not directly come say it). I wanted to let him know "Look who's calling the kettle black". That's all Ms. Trump. You did "wash up quite well" for yourself but not the other women. Relax and calm down!!! There is nothing wrong with having an advocate. In your line of work you need all the advocates you can get. By the way their is nothing wrong in saying, "Thank You".
Saturday night at the Venetian, Luke hung out with Lynne L-patin until Rob Spallone and James DiGiorgio came by and took me into the AVN Awards. Lynne felt left behind and she writes to me:
Dear Luke: I have it on highest authority that Yom Kippur has been extended by an extra 24 hours this year to accomodate your apologia for all the tears I cried last Saturday night over my sudden abandonment.
Out of the myriad of potential ways to handle the scenario, you chose the meanest possible. I know I've never done anything to you to deserve that. Lois Lane would play a mean practical joke on Jimmy Olsen for this one, laddie, unless you fancy yourself Superman. (Could you possibly?) I know Lois was always fuming over Superman leaving her suddenly. "No time to explain, Lois." "But Clark, you promised!"
The christian in me forgives you for a minor embarrassment to my pride with no permanent harm done, the jew in me wants to make you feel ever more so guilty until you apologize to me, and the anarchist was ready for the scorpion's sting but still rescinds her offer of an anytime blow job.
When I was studying catholicism, I realized that man would have no need for confession if sin were not inherent in his make up, therefore I cannot fault you for what is inherent, but must forgive you once you atone directly to god. If you return yourself to your previously pure state of deital forgiveness through acknowledgement and atonement, who am I to question you?
Emmett writes: Dear Mr. Ford, I just viewed Gangland 9. Anastasia Blu went threw anal and vaginal hell! Those Afro-American men were trying their best to rip her sex out with their elephantine cocks and you could see Anastasia Blu was trying her best to just tolerate the abuse! I thought she was just going walk off the set and end the scene short, but she did not. Women like her are the ones who derserve those AVN awards! I hope she recieved a lot money from that scene because the only time she was not suffering is when she was giving blow jobs to those sadist animals!
Extreme videos are just not the same as the old crew. Stryc 9, Monique, Chandler, Iroc, Tiffany Mynx, and Alana. Those new women Tom Byron hired are exquiste and divine but their not as uniquely ravishing and talented as the magnificent six. They have a certain quality that could never bore a viewer. Their awesome personality and individualitic beauty just made me & others come back for me! I am not saying the women he has now are chop liver but the only one I can individulitically remember is Jasmine St. Clair. She is the only one that stands out with honors. The rest all seem to look the same to me.
The M6 were my dream team and will always be. You can tell me Byron and his dad had a problem with one or two, but not all six. Extreme had to be mis-managing the money with those extravagent women. Then they soley blamed them for their misdeeds in order to make themselves look virtuous. Byron an crew keep blaming the women but notice how these men/directors/producers are never in the wrong? With the exception of Stryc 9(Cherry Mirage), I have not seen them do anything after that big fall out. The rest had done a few movies here and there but not as much as when they were with extreme. Adding Ahlsyn Gere and Jamsine St. Claire was brilliant but I would trade those two for the magifcent six any day of the week! Maybe the M6 should make their own rival company and call it "Maximum"!
Dear Mr. Ford, Here are reasons why Max will never win an AVN award besides their alleged corruption (which does not seems suprising).
1. He curses at AVN and says they are corrupt.
2. His films are too short!
3. He is the only guy in his films. Even if I did like watching him perform, too much of anything is boring.
4. His dick is too small. Even Davia Ardell said so last April. (Did she quit the industry?)
5. He is too old. If I wanted to seek old people f--- I would go to a retirement home.
6. He spends too much time in trying to be nasty instead of f---ing! Theirs nothing wrong with that since everyone these days does it(Uhg!). But he goes to the extreme. I hate when they have a woman lick to their ass(es). That s--- is totally gay does not want to be seen by average Joe!
7. He likes to use anal cameras and his weird ass spechula too much. Who enjoys watching him do this s---. Every company once in a while has to make their starlets do extra nasty s--- once in while but this guy does it all the time! He loves seeing these women degraded beyond return.
Solution to his problems
1. Stop cursing at AVN. Why curse at people you want to get an award from?
2. Make his films longer (2:20min)
3. The women he introduce to porn in his films or guest stars, are amazingly beautiful with a school girl charm and appearance. He gets extra stars for those.
4. He needs to just direct and stop acting. Some actors like him, have too be smart enough to know that their passed their prime. His directing quality is awesome! If he would just direct he could be near elegant angel level or even better.
5. He needs to get rid of those f---ing anal cameras and probes. That s--- is sooooo boring. If I want see what the inside of an anus looks like then I would watch ER on The Learning Channel.
6. He needs to start thinking of imaginary sites to go to. It seems like everytime I pick up his box, he is always in the same place! He needs to make up some exotic sets.
7. Include other actors such as Nacho and The Troy Boy. Those guys fit well with his type of genre.
8. Stop being so f---ing nasty!!
Bianca Trump writes: Emmett, Relax sweety. It was only sarcasm.
Emmett replies: Perhaps I do need to relax. Probably due the stress of starting my classes next week (Ugh). Anyway, One of the things I hate about letters is that you can never tell if someone is being humorly sarcastic or for real. So I apologize. But sarcasm is uncool like "Eccentric Fred". By the way are you completely finished with porn? The only film I saw you in was Nasty Nymphos 22. You were (are) super-hot but Vince Voyeur was a snore and made the scene so boring, that I just fast forward half the scene. I would love to see you work again. Especially for Wicked or METRO.
Dear Mr. Ford, I saw a picture of Sabrina Johnson at the CES, and I must say that she really looked dragged out! I guess that GANGBANG 2000(when she f---ed 2,000 men for the New Year's Eve celebration, which lasted for four days) really pumped her out of energy. I can't see how she can walk, stand, or use the bathroom after that! Another thing I find shocking is that her husband supported her through out the ordeal. I can personally say not many men would want to stay married who f---ed the equivalent of a small city! I wonder what her view point about sex is right now? I know it has to be different now. Jasmine St. Clair and Annabel Chong had the attitude of like "So what?". I do not sense that from her. I hope she becomes famous from that colossal gangbang and take a break or her attitude towards her profession might spiral down.
Eccentric Fred writes: O.K. "Emmett" alleges that Alisha Klass is somewhat child-like because of arrested development arising out of some childhood molestation or similar event. So tell me, Luke. Let's say, hypothetically, a porn actress offered her favors to you, but deep down inside, you believed that her promiscuous ways were the result of some childhood trauma.
Let us further say that but for this trauma, she would never be so wanton and brazen as to go around offering her body to you, but because of the trauma, she did. And let's say, hypothetically, she had large knockers. Would you turn her down, and say "No! I cannot! This is really a symptom of an illness, and I am too moral to accept your favors! I urge you to get therapy, study talmud, and turn away from this life of sordid sin."
Please let me know--I seek moral guidance from you. You are the moral compass by which I am currently directing my life, and without this guidance, I fear I may err, and displease the sages.
By the way--I understand that it has been reported that I don't really exist--I'm just another Luke F-rd pseudonym. This report is deeply troubling, because I'm also undergoing an identity crisis, and if it turns out that I really don't exist, I'm going to be very upset (although I suspect that my siblings will be overjoyed).
So please let me know whether I exist, or whether I'm simply another Luke F-rd pseudonym. (If it turns out that I'm really Luke F-rd, can you teach me to speak with an Australian accent, mate?)
Luke: Fred, you really exist and I may do the hypothetical chick. Not sure, I'm ambivalent. To want to do her and not do her for the reason alluded to would be saintly, and I am frequently not up to that level of ethical excellence.
Emmett writes: ear Fred Eccentric, Forget that! Your new name is Monkey Spunk! Everytime you email Mr. Ford you will be replied as such. Monkey Spunk, your erronoeus hypothetical query about Ms. Klass is so stupid. Ms. Klass is very beautiful and even though she has a child like mentality, she would be stellar to hang around with. But your stupid sarcasm has merit. I do believe everyone should turn her down for sex until she settles her personal issues.
If your performing sex for money due to just personal enjoyment then it's semi-cool. But if a person does it due to a past horrific issue, then yes I do feel she should be turned down for sex until she deal with it. If she offered me sex(which would never happen) I would have to turn her down. If I did not then I would only be aiding to her problem. I would be having nocternal emissions about it for the rest of my life but it still would be "no".
I am no "moral compass". If I was so moralistic I would not be into porn or be writing to Mr. Ford. As for for your fourth paragraph Monkey Spunk, about "Not knowing who your are"... I am no doctor but I believe you maybe suffering from schizoprenia. I suggest you seek psychiatric help as well Monkey Spunk.
Legend Video Celebrates
Legend PR man Nelson Ayala writes: It's not whether you win or lose. It's how you look. And JM Productions' Jeff Steward was looking pretty cool as he juggled three AVN awards and a bottle of Budweiser Seer.
JMS highly imaginative, but often underrated, series Perverted Stories finally got its due this year, taking home the statuettes for Best Vignette Series and Most Outrageous Sex Scene (Perverted Stories #22: The Devil Made Her Do It). AVN also honored JM's The Violation of Katie Gold with the award for Best All-Girl Feature. "1t's a good day for perverts everywhere," Jeff Steward declared. "Our filth is finally getting the recognition it deserves. That could be the first sign of the apocalypse."
Speaking of the apocalypse, Kid Vegas destroyed his Competition in the extremely controversial AWN Nudes Award Category. The award, which was frowned upon by humorless production companies, was given to the Kid for his film debut, Kid Vegas: The Whoremaster. Upon winning, the Kid jumped atop the Legend table to do his Kid Vegas Victory dance, but was pulled down quickly due to the numerous death threats Legend has received on the Kid's life.
Kid Vegas took these threats seriously, employing a former CIA agent as his personal bodyguard and maintaining his nine millimeter close by at all times (that's until he sold it for drug money and cab fare). Still, the Kid was always cool and courteous, often times offering me X and whores in the same polite manner you offer someone a glass of water.
Kid Vegas also informed me of some exciting news at CES. Kid Vegas has started a band! Kid Society has inked a deal with Nitro Records and will kick off a worldwide tour this summer in Belgium, where Kid Vegas is bigger than David Hasselhoff.
Despite industry guffaws, Kid Vegas' new film, Trenchcoat Pornographer, will indeed be presented in Imax Resolution and DTS sound. We feel the Kid's Jesus Christ-like popularity will make this endeavor a huge success.
Legend Video hosted a luncheon at the Venetian Hotel on Thursday and Friday. The event, which provided an intimate refuge from the madness on the CES floor, was a big hit. The food was delicious, the bartender talented, and you couldn't ask for better company. Among some of the ladies were AVN nominee and Max Hardcore f---hole Anastasia, Chloe, Julianna Sterling, the bubbly Allison Kilgore, Sana Fey, Naughtia Childs, the lovely Zarina, and the beautiful, former Playboy Playmate, Ten Weigel.
Legend Video is proud to announce Ten Weigel's return to porn after a five year absence. Teri resurfaced late last year on the set of JM Productions American Bukkake #7. Excited by the debauchery she was witnessing, Teri flashed her big celestial set of hooters at Bukkake participants and, later, treated them to a peepshow by sucking her husband's cock.
When producer Jeff Steward asked her to be in the movie, Teri leapt at the privilege. American Bukkake #7 will be released on Valentine's Day. Remember - nothing says love like American Bukkake.
Ten Weigel will also star in the upcoming Legend release, Visions of X. The film is directed by Jerome Tanner and written by super-talented and Super-handsome new comet Nelson X (this guy's good!). Visions of X Will be Out in March.
CES was a blast this year. The AVN Awards Show was short. The crowds manageable. And, the Rialto Bar in the Venetian Hotel was pumping. Max Hardcore entertained the ladies by playing the piano with the heart and soul of Ray Charles, but minus the talent. Nonetheless, Max was soon teaching some whore how to play his skin flute. There were confrontations. Legend's own Steve V. taught some jerk respect by bouncing the guy's head off a pillar. Jeff Steward took bets when a cat fight broke out between two starlets. He awarded the winner $50.
And, of course, there was drinking. We drank till we were as bloated as Matt Zane's ego.
Johnny Denim writes: Hey Luke, long time no read! Anyway I have a few comments on this latest Jenna Jameson fiasco. Being a longtime Jennafreak I find all of this extremely hard to watch and read about. I have noticed a lot of Jennabashing in the past but wrote most of it off as the words of envious posers. At first I thought this was the same. However, I am saddened by this latest incident and I think one of your readers said it best by comparing Jenna to Savannah. In the last year and a half we have watched her allow her throw away her title of undisputed queen of the industry, ruin her looks, (have you seen her face lately?) and become more famous for her tantrums then her movies. The Jenna community has worked hard to keep the Jenna mystique alive while she rests and I have gone into semi-retirement from the Jenna community in hopes that all of this would go away and we can get the Jenna we know and love back but saddly I don't think that's going to happen. I hope to hear Jenna's side of this soon but I am completely losing faith and am waiting for the next Jenna to come along. I hope Jenna doesn't become a self inflicted gunshot casualty like Savannah was.
Darklady.com writes: Now you can see Darklady -- live and in her native habitat online from the safety of your own computer area.
Yes, we've got the web cam up and running. It's not perfect. We crash. Probably are going to need more server space, but it's fun to play with it right now. So, if you're curious about what a Real Live Darklady looks like -- check out the site and let me know if the technology is working. Consider it checking for bugs. I just got back from CES in Las Vegas and meeting the great folks behind the Playboy Channel's Sexcetera series in LA -- and arrived home just in time for snow and a jolly case of the flu. So expect glamor shots of me in my fleece robe trying to brush the snarls out of my hair while gazing blearily toward the monitor. Yes, the life of Darklady is a 24-hour ride into delirious sensual treats previously forbidden to mankind. ;)
The cam may be up or down depending on how my server is doing, so be patient if you hit a dry spot and know that I don't have the camera on all of the time. I will try to be a good girl and keep the diary information up to date, though. I know how you worry about me. Hi to everyone I saw in Las Vegas or Los Angeles. Sorry for any delay anyone is experiencing from me with my work as a result of this flu. Hopefully the face that you can watch me suffer from it while I frantically try to make sense of the letters and images in front of me will help you feel better.
John Wayne Bobbitt's manager Robert Yates writes: As you heard John Wayne Bobbitt did a number on his penis once again. But as it turns out he didn't fall on his dick his girlfriend tried to bite it off. As of yesterday John had me believing that he fell on his dick and smashed it up. So I went over to John's house today to check on him. We started talking and then John showed me his penis to take a look at the damage.
Once I seen it I knew there was no way in hell that fell on thing. It was way to f---ed up, John's penis was All cut up and poorly stitched with butterfly Band-Aids, and was totally black and blue. I asked John what the f--- had happened to his dick and then he told me the truth. Sometime last weekend John had stayed out all night and came home early the next morning. John's live in girlfriend Karen flipped out on John and they had a huge fight. A little later they made up and Karen gave John a blow job. Half way through she bite down on John's cock. John said he was freaking out he thought about hitting her to get her off but he was afraid that she would have bitten through. John picked up the phone and tried to call the cops with this crazy bitch locked down on his dick. When John started dialing the number, she then jumped off of him and started motherf---ing him and she walked out, John shot her s--- out of his house and has not seen her since. But she did quite a number on his dick.
It's all f---ed up. John is yet to see a DR. He tried to seal it up himself with butterfly Band-Aids. He is yet to get hard. And John is really worried that he might have f---ed his dick up for good this time. I asked John why he gave me the bulls--- story about him falling down on his cock. He told me that he was embarrassed a little but mostly in shock over the whole thing. John thought he was going to lose his dick for good this time. That bitch came real close to biting through. John says he is willing to talk about this in a few interviews.
Jeremy Steele writes: Hey Luke, My first radio show broadcast, MODE 101, Depeche Mode Retrospective of hits, unheard-of remixes and cellar dwellers will air on KCLA Fm 99.3 at 5:30 am this Thursday Night/Friday Morning, January 14th.. I'm also looking for sponsors for dirt cheap.. If anyone wants more info, you can reach me at JeremySteeleXX@hotmail.com.
Chillin writes: Dear Luke, I have to admit I was never a big fan of your web sight but I just read the bio you did on Sally Layd. Let me start off by thanking you. I have become a Sally Layd fan late in the game. When I became a fan I could never find out what became of her. You printing her letter was the only way for real fans to find out what became of her. That I thank you for. I was wondering if you had an e-mail address or fan club to get in contact with Sally Layd, I understand she is married and living well away from the biz but I kinda want her to know that she had some real fans out there and that we really appreciated her ability and style. Also wish her luck in her new career. And God forbid things don't work out and she needs to come back to the industry she has some real fans that will show her the respect she should have gotten in the past.
Banjo writes: i have a movie at home called the voyer #3, released by evil angel that stars a beautiful lady called serena - i've looked her up in your site and the serena listed there was in porn in the late 70s and early 80s - not the same lady i'm looking for. she gets shagged at the very start of the movie outdoors beside her new spa by joey silvera and at the end of the movie in a movie theatre ........ the other star in the movie is called niki norm - at least i think thats her name, it's a first and surname that begins with the letter n. she's a girl with a british accent, huge knockers and gets gang banged by 3 blokes in the movie. i know the movie very well and the credits name these girls, however i dont know which is which, so i'm really only guessing that i've put the right names with the right girls......can you throw any light on the situation for me......these girls dont appear to be listed on your site.......do you know of any other movies that they appear in and do you know anything about them?
ZHR29: saw chandler on colins sleazy friends last night...is she really not doing guys anymore
Will another third party credit card processor for the porn internet bite the dust? Bill Myers writes on YNOT: I hope that Epoch survives this. It's really not them; it's our friggin' business and how the banks deal with us as a whole. Sadly, when the banks beat up on companies like Epoch/Paycom, it makes all of us look ugly. Epoch lies to their clients. Epoch's clients then lie to their resellers. Resellers then lie to their mortgage bankers and so on and so forth. Example? I know from experience from being at the IA2000 show that when talking to Dan at Epoch, as nice as he is, he knows that he is lying to you, you know that he's lying to you, and you know that he knows that you know that he's lying to you. Yow! The irony is that it's all with good intention -at least with Epoch it seems- and THAT is what's important. Getting paid what's owed to you? That's not important. Whoops. Another lie in the making. Maybe Epoch, their clients and we resellers should get together in one big room, electronically if need be, and figure out one good big lie that we can come up with together so that we can collectively garner the strength we need to fairly complete with the powers that be; the banking industry. Or, here's a concept for ya': Maybe we should just tell the truth.
BrandyAlx1: I really do control the whole thought, movement and
protocol of PsT. I've come to that conclusion. I don't have to even
try to go in and they run around in fits of paranoia and make themselves
look like idiots.
BrandyAlx1: Now I found out they banned someone because I said someone
gave me a log and she (note the gender) was their prime suspect and
she was banned for life. For cryin' out loud! Not only did I *not*
receive a log (a bit of hyperbole on my part), but they have consistently
published their logs or allowed them to be published.
Luzdedos1: thanks, how r u?
BrandyAlx1: On top of *that* the information came from one of the
GUYS. But they don't ban guys. Especially the ones they consider to
be important to attract others to the chat.
BrandyAlx1: I'm fine. So you survived the conventions??? I swear Luke,
It's such a kick to have this group of wannabe bad-asses convey so
much power to me that I need only utter a few words to make them scramble.
I need to sit back and think up some ways to abuse it. You know? ;)
Darkside writes: Luke, I have been reading your site for some time now, and notice how Brandy Alexandre seems to have it out for this PST chat group. Everything that I read about it, and especially with the stuff posted today, leads me to believe that Brandy doesnt seem to have much of a life. What is so important to her about this chat room that she has to keep bringing it back up? So they banned her, so f---ing what. Shuffle your feet, swear under your breath and get on with life already. As far as her "I really do control the whole thought, movement and protocol of PsT", it just sounds like Brandy is once again without anything productive to do, so she has to sit around and make up bulls---. I have visited the PST chat a few times in the past. As far as the "But they don't ban guys" remark, that is not true. On two seperate occassions that I was there lurking in the background, I witnessed a number of people being banned, all of which were because they were in other channels that delt with pedophilia, beastiality, and "Daddy Dughter Sex". I dont know too many women who would be in chats like that and in PST. So there goes Brandy's theroy that this is some macho big dick club. Allow me to summarize. Brandy, while I can not speak for them, I'm sure the PST people view you as nothing more than an annoying gnat on their monitors, and I'm sure they have good valid reasons to keep you out. Get a job, get a life, and for the love of God (with all due respect, Luke) find something else to do other than sitting around getting fat and trying to piss people off on the internet for your own self esteem.
ELASTIN2: i cant wait to see Lovette
RHughes812: hope she gives major extras
ELASTIN2: feature laps could cost $40
RHughes812: she was screwin for $300 in sf i hear
ELASTIN2: how much does JR Carrington charge
RHughes812: heard 1k
Sammy: you're in such a funny mood today, did you smoke pot?
Luzdedos1: hey is juliette loews taken?
Sammy: I don't know her honey but if she works for AVN she might as
well be.
Sammy: I still need to teach you how to act around girls. It's scary
honey.
Luzdedos1: i thought i was very suave and debonair during CES
Sammy: I don't want you to go as far as James DiGiorgio around women,
but there is a "way". Too bad you're not friends w Marc Star, he's
the master.
Sammy: The first thing to do around women is to ask them about themselves.
Don't talk about your little silly porno site. But don't grill them
like a reporter. Tilt your head, act thrilled. smile! Open up, too.
You start to, then immediately pull back. Like a typical guy I should
say....
Sammy: When someone asks me why I like you, I tell them I can't help
it. Except for Christi. I don't even bring your name up there.