NL-I know lots of publicists in this biz. Some are great. Some are okay. Some suck. This is going to be an ongoing topic on this site. I just got a wonderful & funny list to start off the subject. Thanks to Sherry at Black and Blue Media for writing it. (She’s one of the GREAT Publicists btw)
Top Ten Signs You Need a New Publicist
10. Your publicist is your competitor for movie awards nominations.
9. Your publicist thinks placing your press releases on their blog counts.
8. Your publicist can only be reached by text message in months that end with “L”.
7. Your publicist thinks that trading sex with you for a press release is good business.
6. Your publicist is too busy appearing in pornos to send out your press releases.
5. Your publicity firm puts out more press releases on their company news than yours.
4. You hired the “#1 Adult Publicist” – and no one in adult has heard of him.
3. Your publicist asks YOU for a contact list to send press releases to.
2. Your publicist outsources their press release writing to their Mom.
1. Your neighbor’s five year old has a better grasp of the English language and grammar than the person you pay to write your press releases.
Black & Blue Media
media@blackandblueusa.com
This was reposted on the EMMReport.com and Sherman added his two cents….
A Few thoughts from Sherman
1. Your Press release from your publicist has more information about the Publicist then you.
2. Your publicist takes you to a red carpet event and makes you wait until he {or she} is done posing for photos.
3. Your publicist says he has ethics, and won’t trade sex for press, but will expect you to put out for free anyway, after you pay him of course.
4. Tries to convince you it’s wrong to put out for the publicist, but it’s ok to have sex with his friends in the media, under the guise of helping you get more exposure and better reviews.
5. Uses you to get new clients, who’ve never heard of you.
6. Tries to convince you it’s ok to “rehearse” a few things with him sexually, only for professional purposes, so you will look better on camera.
7. Tries to get you to hire his web master, his agent, his stylist and his publicist, even though he doesn’t have a web site, isn’t a performer, has no need for a stylist, much less a publicist.
8. Promises to introduce you to Ron Jeremy, who {according to said publicist} doesn’t go out much, but because he’s such a good close personal friend of Ron’s, he knows Ron’s schedule better then Ron.
9. Would never suggest you turn a trick, unless it’s a friend of his, then he’ll expect you to cut them a deal.
10. Says he’s only doing this for now, because he’s a real publicist moonlighting in porn, to hone his craft, in the meantime…{see -6 above}
11. Send a jpeg or gif image along with every press release. A new different picture each time would be nice. At least 400 pixels wide is nice too. The people who visit the websites and read the press release like seeing a picture too instead of just a wall of text. Also, it would be nice to have a safe for work picture so the websites that can’t run nude images can run yours and doesn’t have to photoshop something else in it.
12. Don’t have the title of the press release all in caps. It seems like you’re shouting and many who visit the website might just pass over your press release because they were so annoyed with the ALL CAPS. Visit forums and that’s a big turn off with many people.
13. Send the release in html PLEASE too. Not every computer can properly open the other different files you send. Also, when you send the html version, send it in the right format so the person receiving the press release doesn’t have to backspace every other word to its correct format.