The Bill Margold Experience by Jeremy Steele

OP/ED by Jeremy Steele

The Bill Margold Experience
(Read this with someone you hate)
(Not Starring Sasha Grey, but someone much more important… to himself, at least):
—————————————————————-
From P.A.W.’s website: "Our Mission:
 
Provide an umbrella of mental, physical, spiritual and emotional
support to any and all who seek our assistance…"
—————————————————————-
Late Winter/Early Spring, 1996:

I was still pretty new to the industry, learning the "who’s who", and "what’s what", when I asked my
agent, the one and only (at the time) Jim South, who the guy talking non-stop in the next room was. Jim informed me, in his courteous, Southern drawl, that he was   "Counseler to the stars, Mr. William Margold."
 
Out of curiosity, some days later, I paid the man a visit.
 
In preparation, I made sure to pay careful consideration to the attire which I wore, in due respect to both his status in the industry, as  well as to his own formal dress code.
 
To his belly-bulged hawaiian shirt and unshaven face I wore an old AC/DC shirt.
 
Upon entering his foundation (the room upstairs, opposite corner of  World Modeling, my first impressions included a lot of little  stuffed teddy bears strewn about the one room office, and a pungeant, unpleasant smell which seemed to be embedded in the walls, and which made me want to grab one of those teddy bears quick, shove into my face  and breathe into it!
 
I caught Bill in mid-monologue and in fine form:
  "The best thing Savannah ever did was DIE!"
 
He said this most disturbed and disturbing statement to his virtually empty audience as if rehearsed. Yet as I listened I was completely fascinated by his strange words. It wasn’t what he said which struck me so much as the way he said it,  with such superfluous self-importance. It just seemed so self-evidently silly, actually… and almost amusing.
 
As he continued, I thought to myself, "Who WAS this porn diva, Adolph Hitler?"
 
"… It was her death which lead to the formation of P.A.W.  (protecting Adult Welfare"), he continued.
 
And as he still continued on and on, I wondered:
  "I wonder what she did that she would deserve to die. What about her  loved ones? Did they deserve to suffer, as well? What is wrong  with this guy?"
 
I thought my thoughts silently. Then, following his moving  speech I introduced myself as new cummer male performer, going by the name "Jeremy Steele".
 
Quickly, he slinged a derisive remark my way. Mine is a  "terrible" name, he insited. First of all, "’Jeremy’ is not
a masculine name", he claimed.
 
"WTF?", I thought to myself. "That happens to be my real first name!"- a nice insult to both me and the mom who bore and named me…"
 
"…And Steele, that name is way too overused", he concluded.
 
Let it be noted for the record that this opinion  preceeded the arrival or Sydnee or Lexington, as well as  a fat batch of other ‘Steeles’ which came and went (no pun intended) after I left the business for a year and a half duration (between early -mid 1997 and most of 1999).
 
Changing the subject, to one much more important, Bill went on to brag  about how he created and runs a "non-profit" counseling organization  for the industry.
 
"That’s great", I sarcastically and remittently thought to myself.  "Now I have someone to talk to about the self-esteem  issues he’s just created for me. This guy must be a genius!" 
 
The fact that this guy liked to talk as much as a heroin addict likes  to shoot up was self-evident. Unfortunately, I was not quite having the  the same high listening as he was talking.
 
Still, I had to admit, it was, at times, in it’s own way, entertaining,  even mesmerizing, at times, in it’s absurdity and weightiness.
 
He asked me what I was doing in the porn industry. I told him I was fed up with all the bullshit of Hollywood and the shitty telemarkeing job I had (even though I was doing well enough at it).
 
He then informed me that there are ONLY THREE reasons to get into the porn industry; either: a. Money. b. Sex or c. Fame.
 
AND, there is ONLY ONE reason anyone should get into this porn and  that is reason c. : Fame.
 
I thought to myself "Wow. This guy is something…".And as the moron babbled on more (you can’t expect to get a word in), I thought to myself:
 
"What if a person chooses to do porn for THEIR OWN reasons? Is ‘Fame’ REALLY a reason to do anything? Should not one perform or act
for the love of acting and cathartic self-expression, not just a narcissistic urge to be famous and contemptously act superior to others?
 
"Further, isn’t the search for ‘Fame’ in and of itself, potentially alienating and destructive? Haven’t Savannah and some others proven  that? How about doing porn as a rebellion against society? Or for the fuck of it, the fantasy or just the thrill and the experience of it?
 
"Are we not, more or less, all whores anyway,  within a slave society, and if so, what’s the shame with a little sex on camera? Or am I fooling myself?"
 
Even in my, at times, crazy mind, it became quickly evident, that as far as Bill Margold was concerned, there was ONLY ONE correct point of view: HIS. End of story. This hardly seemed at all to me, however, to be the kind of mindset needed of a sympathetic, sensitive and  supportive counselor for whores in need.
 
I quickly began to take pretty much The Bill Margold Experience in  reverse proportion to how ultra-seriously he took it himself. All the
while, however, I was always civil and respectful to him as the edler  statesman he is, in spite of his arrogance and constant necessary,  quick-quip put-downs.
 
Overall, I simply took him as a questionably informative, occassionally entertaining joke,  occassionally interesting, even as he is still always full of himself.
 
Bill Margold likes to address us "porn stars" as his "children". I take issue with this. Although he may talk to us like we’re children, we are NOT
children (well some of us,at least). And we certainly are not HIS children. He’s not my dad, and for that I’m glad.  In fact, if I was so unfortunate to have been his child  I’m sure I would’ve run away from his house/foundation a long time ago.
 
He also refers to the industry as the "Family of X". If ours is a  "family", you can say it’s quite incestuous as well as dysfunctional, at times, to say the least.  There’s also a lot of family members coming, going and disappearing, so theoretically, Bill ought to be  quite busy.
 
And certainly, a good family will always help it’s own, and some  good counseling could never hurt.  Not around here, I’d say. And thus, this is where Bill Margold and P.A.W. comes in, right?
 
 
One day, I (too soon, actually) got to put Bill’s role as "Papa Bear" (as he refers to himself) of the "Family of X" to the test…
 
Several months into the business, I was going through some personal,  emotional issues: I had met a nice non-industry girl who I ended up
telling, in utter brutal honesty, that I was a porn performer/actor/model/star.
 
Almost as soon as I told her this stunning information she disconnected her phone number (the same night, even), and I never saw or heard from
her again!
 
So, as you might imagine, I was feeling a bit down, questioning who I  was, including what the hell I was doing in pornoland; wondering if I
should keep it "up"; if I should be keeping certain things to myself;  wondering if it was possible to have a "normal" relationship, or it I
even should, while being a professional and legalized "whore" (as Annie Sprinkle put it), etc.
 
But as I expressed these issues to Bill I would get no answers;not even an attempt or a consolation for my woes.
 
Instead, and to my surprise, after I told him my problems he proceeded to talk entirely about himself, including his claim that his penis was large!
 
Now, what this had to do with my problems and how these claims of his could help me I had absolutely no idea. But one thing I knew for sure
was that would be the first and last time I would ever call the P.A.W.Hotline!
 
End of Part 1.

18 thoughts on “The Bill Margold Experience by Jeremy Steele

  1. jeremiahsteele says:

    corrections: that should’ve been spelled ‘counselor’

    also, i meant to say i left the biz for about 2 1/2 years, not 1 1/2, although i was still doing some internet stuff, mostly with gf

    stay tuned, part 2 gets really interesting…

    (you sure love that old photo of us, cindi, don’t ya?!)

  2. Larry Horse says:

    Bravo Steele, keep going on this leech of the porn business. Sad thing about this is that Uncle Jim has helped Bill’s lard ass, cause Jim is a good guy. When him and Freddie Lincoln are gone, that’s it.

  3. The Colonel says:

    ‘From P.A.W.’s website:

    Our Mission: Provide an umbrella of mental, physical, spiritual and emotional support to any and all who seek our assistance.’

    Bill Margold should add one more thing to the list of P.A.W.’s missions: A cheap Hawaiian t-shirt for every new member. This guy is an idiot, a fat, old buffoon who brags about fame and the size of his dick despite the fact that he used to perform on camera which means there are videos, close ups of his pencil dick all over the internet, and anybody can find and watch them in less than a 5 minutes search.

    Interesting article, Jeremy. I suggest you make it into a trilogy. Man, it would have been great if Ollie Stone was going to make a shitty movie about this moron. Perhaps he could get his pinko butt buddy Hugo Chavez to grow a cheesy mustache and play Bill Margold.

  4. jeremiahsteele says:

    Thanks guys. Part 2 was definitely almost long enough to break into 2 more parts.

    Apparently Bill is such a narcissist that he likes to eat his own cum.

    ttp://thecivilians.org/pornmusical/2010/01/possibly-my-fave-interview-moment-matt-maher-and-bill-margold/

    There are many examples to prove that Bill is a disturbed man. Here’s another:

    “Leave us alone and we will destroy ourselves.”
    -Bill Margold, (testifying to the Meese Commission, 1985)
    http://www.markcromer.net/archives/featureNews2005/lastride.php

    Bill, although a deranged, hypocritical asshole, is an interesting guy. Sometimes I agree with things he says (such as the subject of drug abuse, condoms and the alleged AIDS ‘epidemic’), but other times, he proves he nuts and void of common sense.

    Here’s an excerpt of a verbal match he’s having with Anita Cannibal. He says physical protection doesn’t matter, only mental. That’s odd, especially since my exprience of Bill has been only insults.

    Read below: On the one hand he says porn was born and will die without restrictions, and then he turns around and says the legal age to do porn should be raised to 21. He also acknowledges that the organizations he’s created have tried to kick him out. Still, he’ll never learn:

    Cannibal repeated her long held belief that women have the right to be protected in porn’s work environment

    “But nobody wants to deal with this,” she says. “Women have rights, and they should be able to exercise their rights. No one’s letting them.”

    “What is this right’s bullshit?” Margold wanted to know. “You come into this business, you know what to expect.”

    Since Cannibal had brought up the issue, Margold said PAW was created with the concern about a porn performer’s mental stability, not necessarily physical.

    “The mind is more fragile than the body,” explains Margold who likes to tell a new girl in the business, ‘Sell me your soul and I will make you famous.’

    “Like I did with you in 1997,” he reminds Cannibal.

    Margold tells Cannibal that by holding to her currently held beliefs she’ll be a dinosaur in her own lifetime.

    “This business was born without restrictions; it will die without restrictions. The law is the death knoll,” Margold added.

    He’s also for raising the age limit of performers to 21.

    “Get rid of these 18 and 19 year-olds who can’t even write their names,” he insists. “And start brining in intravenous drug testing into this business. It’s not STD’s that’s going to kill this industry. It’s the drugs that’s going to destroy it. If you turn your body into a trash can, it deserves to be in the dumpster.”

    Margold remembers the first time he made that remark- it was 1998.

    “A petition was gotten together to get me out of PAW,” he recalls. “So I had to create AIM to make sure I could keep PAW. And I have copies of that petition.”

    http://www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=24617

  5. jeremiahsteele says:

    I have no idea nor care how big Bill’s dick supposedly is. Certainly that’s not what I was there to hear when I called his hotline years back. But interestingly, you say Colonel his pecker is small. He claims it’s 10 1/2 inches. He also admits he’s got an inferiority complex and is “desperately in need of recognition”:

    http://books.google.com/books?id=u4sxcPfU9ycC&pg=PA29&lpg=PA29&dq=%22bill+margold%22&source=bl&ots=c8iNnvsC8_&sig=kOi-sYU7olWQCKjn2FI6PDLZMxE&hl=en&ei=Mq5TTPn9Aoy4sQOInsTZAg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=7&ved=0CCkQ6AEwBjgo#v=onepage&q=%22bill%20margold%22&f=false

  6. Jeremiah,
    You could probably care less about my opinion, but what the hell, that never stopped me before.

    I will always give credit where credit is due. This is a very interesting,and entertaining article, and I look forward to reading the next edition.

    Your analogy of “words are to Bill as heroin is to a junkie” is brilliant. If only this were realtiy, Bill would have overdosed a long, long time ago.

    Sometimes we learn things from the oddest of sources. Sometimes we learn more about ourselves when we enconter people like Bill. His arrogance often overshadows his message, which might have been releevent twenty years ago. The adult industry has gone through several major changes,from the Freeman decision, to the video cassette, to the dvd, and now the internet, but Bill is still stuck in the magazine and Pussycat Theatre days.

    Show Bill the respect he deserves as the ‘elder statesman,’ just dont take him too seriously. Grandpa’s are like that. Sometimes you just have to look real hard for the pearls of wisdom from the old man, mixed in with all of the old hot air. Bill is one of the last of a dying breed, a relic from the golden age. Like the last of the WW1 veterans, there recollections of war are clouded by time, much like Bill’s recollection of the golden age is clouded by his arrogance. I think you’ve got the handle on Bill, the rest of your story should be interesting.

  7. The Colonel says:

    Inferiority complex AKA little dick syndrome has always been one of many Bill Margold’s issues. That, and of course his big mouth and his lack of hygiene.

    Here is an idea for on ongoing series about the adult industry parasites and how they leech off the porn business: After you finish Bill Margold Trilogy, perhaps you can start another trilogy about Shelly *Roxy* Lubben, then XXX Church, etc. That’ll be interesting.

  8. Larry Horse says:

    Elder statesman? No one would know this guy if werent for the fact that he’s been telling everyone that for the last 20 years and that Jim Holliday built him up as one. He wouldnt even be in the top 500 of all time porn performers.

  9. jeremiahsteele says:

    Thanks Joe. For once, you’re being nice to me. Strange…

    I look forward to the next article arriving, as well, even though I know what it will say.

    It’s been said to respect one’s elders. In Margold’s case, however, the respect he deserves is: ZERO.

    He’s a dinosaur which needs to finally go extinct. Both he and his words of counseling and wisdom stink.

    I remember Holliday. He and Bill had some similarities: both loved to talk on and on and took themselves very seriously, Jim would always wear Terminator sunglasses all the time. At least Jim was more respectful and easier to have a conversation with.

    Margold speaks of 18 and 19 year olds who can’t write their own name and says people old enough to die for their country are not old enough to make an adult choice about getting into porn. But, it’s not a certain age that suddenly makes some one smart. Look at Bill. He’s ancient and still without a clue:

    A. When someone calls you for counseling, don’t talk only about yourself and then brag about yourself and your alleged penis size, for good measure.

    B. When starting various foundations (PAW, FSC, FOXE), make sure that you don’t get kicked out of every one of them (the only thing that saved him from losing PAW, he says, was creating AIM).

    C. Don’t claim (while having a stated “mission” of providing “an umbrella of mental, physical, spiritual and emotional support”) that a performers have no rights and that their physical well being is of no importance, only their mental well-being. Further, don’t do nothing but insult them for the purpose of providing such mental support.

    D. Don’t say the business should have no restrictions and than anything goes while simultaneously saying the legal age to start doing porn should be raised to age 21.

  10. Bill Margold is a prime example of someone who should NEVER be listened to. He doesn’t look wise, he doesn’t dress nice, he loud, obnoxious, and he smells bad.

    Why, oh why would anyone be stupid enough to listen to this old guy who can’t do ANYTHING right?

    Somebody please tell me he doesn’t use that stupid P.A.W. thing as a scam to make a couple of grand a month on the side.

  11. jeremiahsteele says:

    Stay tuned, pornster, your last point will be addressed in Part 2… and believe you-me, #2 is The Shit!

  12. PAW has an annual budget of about 8000.oo Bill isnt makeing anything off of PAW.

    Bill has spent his entire life in the fantasty world of porn. I have said before, the only thing more inaccurate thanthe mainstream depriction of the porn industry is the porn industries depiction of itself. Bill falls somewhere in the middle. As Jeremiah pointed out, Bill contradicts himself at every turn. No regulation, then he calls for drug testing and age limits. He claims to provide “mental” support, but then belittles those who seek his assistance. I dont think Bill even knows the meaning of the word compassion, but that is what spending your life in the fantasy world of porn will do to you after 40 years.

    I read somewhere once about something Speigler tells all his girls,,,,”From the moment you arrive on set until the time you leave, it’s all an act.” I think it is when people, usually young girls, cant seperate their real identities from their ‘porn’ identity that true psycological problems begin, and unfortunately neither AIM or PAW has the real qualified staff to deal with this. To survive in this industry,mentaly, you have to be honest with yourslef, about yourself,,,and Bill doesnt want anybody to think for themselves,,,he only wants you toagree with him….Prove to Papa Bear that you are worthy of his approval, bow down at the alter of the wisdom of Margold and he shall set you free from yourself. Sell him your soul, and in return, become the star in your own nightmare. Beware of the false profit.

    Jeremiah, we have had our differences,,,,and there willbe some things we never agree on, and we have beat those horses to death. Focusing on the negative never did anybody any good. But when people agree and work together, that is the only way to effect real change.

    Question, do you think the industry could benefit from an organization that actually does what PAW claims to do///Do you think such an organizarion would get industry support/////Do you think AIM is qualified to be that organization, or is it to entrenced as an ‘industry’ first, talent second, organization?

  13. Jeremiah(no more jerry)
    Heres a few ideas that I think you could q

  14. ooops,
    heres a few ideas that I think you could write about that kind of go along with The Bill Experience theme.

    1.Your first scene, your thoughts befroe, during and after,,who was the girl, where is she now, your feelings abou her,,,,was she a head case, an experienced performer, ata studio or house etc.

    2. Your first experience at AIM, and your thoughts about the formation of AIM,,,as talent did you welcome it, or was it just part of the job.

    3.Were you ever the male talent for a female performers first scene.

    4.Your personal feelings about the 1998/99 hiv outbreaks and the 2004 incedents,,,,,your feelings aoubt how the infected girls were treated,,,did AIM communicate well enough with the industry,,,,should TTboys company be held responsible,,,,,,,where are they now,,,does the industry care where they are now,,,,,

    5. Myth or Fact,,,Porn girls enjoy their work,,,,porn men enjoy their work,,,,,,it is safer to have sex with a porn worker than an average person you meet at bar,,,,,,most porn girls escort(today vs, ten years ago),,,,,porn is a multibillion dolar industry,,,,,,porn performers are just regular people who got into an irregular line of work,,,,,the porn industry is dead,free content has killed the industry.

    just a few suggestions

  15. jeremiahsteele says:

    I’m curious. Are there any Bill Margold supporters out there? Or maybe we should wait until my part 2 comes out?

    Gee whiz, Joe, any other questions?

    Yes, something that actually does what PAW claims to do would be nice. I don’t know who is qualified except to say whoever actually helps talent is qualified to help talent. Obviously, that eliminates Bill as an option.

    I wrote about my first scene ever for Columbia University’s student newspaper “The Fed”, and the girl I worked with had never done a boy/girl scene either. She was a nice girl. I’ve also been a video virgin’s first scene several times. All of those scenes were mutually positive experiences, and preferable to the experience of the experienced veteran performing for the camera.

    A few of my early experiences of AIM were not positive, they were getting used to the experience, but in time they overall became adept phlebotomists. Both Sharon and Chloe individually chose to tell me they’re good at taking blood because they used to shoot up. I used to also feel stupid about walking into their office with their big “Healthcare for Sex Workers” sign outside. Also I’m sure their signs claiming that 98% (or whatever %) of civilians have an STD scared more performers away from the business than Bill ever did.

    I don’t have any particular issue with AIM. I think Sharon means well. I think you know my opinions about HIV and the “outbreaks”. I don’t think TT’s company should’ve been fined at all. I think HIV+ people should read as much available and variant information on HIV/AIDS and it’s controversial history as they possibly can, including dissident opinions and come to their own conclusions. They should definitely have the right to choose how to medicate themselves and shouldn’t have their kids taken away from them if they refuse to give them cytotoxic, poisonous “therapy” drugs for a dubiously deadly retro-virus.

    I think it’s always better to have sex with people who choose to have sex with you in a private setting, on one’s own terms, versus performing.

  16. just in a curiuos mood Jeremiah.
    I wont ask you to trash anybody, but who was the most pleasent female and male performers you have ever worked with, and are their any performers male or female who you would consider to be your ‘best friends’,,not just ‘industry’ friends, but real close fireinds.

    Do yo find it difficult to make true friends in the industry, or are performers more likely to keep their ‘true’ identity more hidden from fellow performers, as opposed to their ‘porn’ identities?

    I think your sentence above is true when it comes to real friendships,,,,,,the most common reason to like a person is becuase you believe that they like you.

    Who in the industry have you had the most ‘positive’ experience with, whether it be a working relationship, a friendly relationship, or just the person that YOU have felt has made you a better person just by knowing them?

    And two more,,,what is the fucking funniest thing you ever saw on a set, and what was the most embarrassing thing you ever saw, either yourself or someone else?

    ANd yes, ex junkies make the best phlebotomists,,,if anyone can find a vien, a heroin junkie can.

  17. jeremiahsteele says:

    Have you ever heard of curiosity killing the cat? Well, you’re killing me at this point, Joe. How many back to back to back questions do you have to ask me at once?

    One of my favorite scenes was with a girl called “Chelle” for Vivid in “The Audition”. It was all very playful and fun, she was only in the biz temporary, it looked nice, as it was shot on film, not video. Belladonna, of course, which is why everyone loves her (and contrary to Roy Garcia’s made up lie that I tried to kiss her, I never had any problems), Violet Blue (“Noname Jane”) and several others.

    As far as friends, I’ve known Joe Blow (who I introduced to the business) since ’93. My best friend is my gf Lucky Starr.

    I think a couple of the funniest moments I’ve done was when I was fucking a chick off camera. One time was like a 10 guy blow bang, and I started to talking then flirting with this chick who first was rubbing my nuts, then I felt her up, then before I knew it I was fucking her doggie style, then all of a sudden all the other guys off camera were as well.

    Another time, I was doing a b/g while the girl’s friend was watching. She was giving me the eye, and some off camera b/j. Then she went to the bathroom to talk on the phone. I took a break from the action, said I needed to take a leak, and she was in there leaning, bent over in front of the bathroom mirror when I stepped. I started feeling her up, she was into it, so I pulled her sweats down and stuck it in and started fucking her a few minutes. Then she starts sweet talking to who I guess was her boyfriend on the other line, saying “I love you” and other sweet stuff as I continued to fuck her. She was doing a good job of not moaning while still making expressive pleasure faces.

    One of the most embarrassing moments was when this guy hired me and two others to fuck this hot chick. When I got there there was no paper work to sign and I found out it was basically a filmed private that he participated in. He had all the positions he wanted storyboarded/drawn out and he wanted all these impossible and seemingly gay positions. For example, he was doing a 69 on the girl on his back and he wanted the girl to get DPd while he was eating her out. We told him it was impossible, even with two Mandingo dicks most likely. At the end I’m eating her out as he told me when he suddenly tells the other guys he wants them to come on her face. I told them he better get it in her mouth because I’m right under them, but one asshole didn’t listen and he splooged a big nut on her which bounced off her face and fell splat right on mine! I got up pissed off and that guy thought I messed up the scene with my “attitude problem”. Other than that moment I rocked on my performance but I guess none of that mattered. That was the last time he called me for work.

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