Justine Joli Off Broadway- Pics

AL went to the THEE- ATE-HER. Here’s what he had to say-

I have a very limited palate when it comes to theater, which is definitely intentional.  I never cared for theater, particularly musicals.  When I saw Rent I thought it was torture; I think we could easily find out where Bin Laden is by making some of these guys in Guantanamo watch it.  If you have ever seen the movie Team America: World Police that parody of Rent entitled Lease with it’s theme song of "everyone has AIDS!" is pretty much the same as the play.  With the new year and the new decade, I decided to take a cue from someone I know and open myself to things I had previously dismissed. 

It is is with that open mind that I went to see Caligula Maximus at the Ellen Stewart Theatre at La MaMa E.T.C. in downtown Manhattan starring Ryan Knowles as decadent Roman emperor Caligula and Penthouse Pet Justine Joli as his last last wife Caesonia.  This production was superior to Rent and the other plays I’d seen in a few ways.  One is not the the free beer I received on entrance (because it was Pabst, all I needed was a 70’s mustache and a shirt from 1989 to feel like a hipster douchebag) however one was the huge dick which made an appearance very early on.  Real dicks are disgusting, but huge fake dicks that are big enough to be ridden in by Justine Joli was surprisingly entertaining.  The best part is when confetti shot out of it.  If I had three wishes one would be for just once to have confetti shoot out of my dick just to see the reaction.  "It’s comin, it’s comin, here it is!  Ha ha April Fool’s bitch!"

I have to admit, it was kind of hard for me to follow the story, whose dialog is a mix of singing and speech.  It’s not their fault though, it’s just my theater sophistication is about as advanced as Sarah Palin’s retarded baby.  Let’s just say I was able to ascertain that it was a play, and things were happening.  For a plot challenged viewer as myself, the dozen or so scantily clad or naked women kept me perked up like Cafe Bustelo. 

For a relatively small stage, there was a large cast which, besides the scantily clad women, included gladiators, gladiatrixes, dancers, circus performers and a live band.  The performance itself was very tight and I thought Ryan Knowles did an excellent job as Caligula.  Clearly, he made the correct life decision to go into theater.  The play contained an interesting mix of action, comedy and drama and for the most part was pretty fluid.  There was acrobatics going on from the ceiling, fights and all sorts of goodies to keep a theater neophyte’s attention, but mainly I liked the women.  I can’t really rate Justine Joli’s performance because because the sex part of my brain took over when she was featured.  It’s not my fault, she was always topless and her natural breasts seem to just float weightlessly.  Did I also mention I love me some redheads?

The ending featured what I can really only describe as a freak out crescendo, in which the actors grabbed people out of the audience and what I think was dancing occurred.  Just my luck I was right there and they tried to pluck me but Homie don’t play that.  That’s how it starts.  They get you to the stage and next thing you know I’d walking out of there like one of those kids on Glee.  I can’t risk that.

 Scheduled performances are on Thursday and Friday at 8pm, Saturday at 8pm
and 10pm, through April 10th. Tickets are $30, $25 for students and
seniors and can be purchased online at www.lamama.org or by calling the box
office at 212-475-7710.
 
Thursday and Friday at 8:00 pm
Saturday at 8:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m.
Opens March 19th
Ellen Stewart Theatre
66 E. 4th St., between 2nd Avenue and The Bowery
The box office is located at 74A E. 4th St.
 
Join CALIGULA MAXIMUS on:
Facebook:http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=268693721712&ref=mf
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/CALIGULAMAX
Blog: http://www.caligulamaximus.wordpress.com

2 thoughts on “Justine Joli Off Broadway- Pics

  1. jeremiahsteele says:

    I’m still in the process of watching the Caligula X rated 3 CD collection, starring Malcom McDowell, Peter O’Toole, Helen Mirren and John Gielgud.

    Although some squares like Roger Ebert gave Caligula “zero” stars, I found this movie, including the stories and commentaries on the making of it, absolutely fascinating. It’s a cult film, revolutionary, certainly a disturbing movie, as disturbing as history is, and in many ways historically accurate.

    I would’ve preferred to see Maria Schneider play McDowell’s incestuous sister in the movie instead of Teresa Ann Savoy, but Maria dropped out due to the excessive sexual content. Gielgud originally was going to play the larger role of Tiberius, but dropped out and then was talked into taking the smaller role of Nerva.

    There’s no way this movie could be made today. Definitely worth checking out. Props goes out to Bob Guccione for making this film!

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