Love in the XXX World
Op/Ed By Lucky Starr
I was bored last night and I starting doing what I usually do and start poking around on the internet..Suddenly, I came across a Q & A website that had this question…
Could you ever be in a committed relationship with a pornstar?
Some say that love has no boundaries but others might argue it does. Take the example of dating a pornstar. Could you be in a committed relationship with someone who sleeps with other people for a living? Would love prevail or would you search elsewhere?
I’ve been thinking a lot about this question lately because I’ve been on both sides, dating a civilian, and dating a porn star. When I first entered the industry, I was engaged to a civilian man who loved watching me with other men. So when the thought of me doing porn entered the conversation, without hesitation he replied, "That would be HOT!". As time went on, I became obsessed with my new profession. I started dieting, exercising, practicing posing for a camera in front of a mirror, and watching lots of scenes so I could imitate what particular things turned me on. He used to take me out to celebrate after my shoots and wanted to hear every last horny detail. I starting going to parties, social events, fundraising events, as well as doing shoots. As time went on, I realized I could not take my fiance’ to anything industry related. He was afraid we’d run into someone I had done a scene with. I’ve heard this is a very common thing when a girl with a boyfriend enters the industry, they either break up or he makes her quit.
It went from, "Oh my god, I’m dating a porn star!" (look of joy on his face) to "Oh my god, I’m dating a porn star!" (look of horror on his face). I always stayed professional when I was working, and never went on any lunch dates with scene partners afterwards, but no matter how hard I tried to make the relationship work, he still broke up with me. In four years, he and I had broken up at least two dozen times (for various reasons), so this was nothing new. If he didn’t break up with me over this, he would’ve broken up over something else.
So after a very brief time of freedom (like a month!), I started dating a fellow porn performer, Jeremy Steele. During my brief time of being single, I often said, "I will NEVER fall in love with a porn star!" Which just goes to show you, never say never. Whenever I say "never", that’s when it happens. Now I can’t speak for everyone, but from what I noticed from men in the industry, they stick their hand up your skirt THEN they ask your name. I just figured it was the "porn star handshake" (the male to female one). They’re the horniest type of guy I’ve ever met in my life! Why would I want to date that? I’d constantly be worried if he was cheating on me. I feel in the porn industry, there is a fine line between work and cheating. My theory is everything you do on camera is work, and everything you do off camera is cheating. You know deep down what cheating really is.
So the more time Jeremy and I spent with each other, the more I starting falling for him. Many many of my friends told me it would never work. One friend said that asking a male porn star to be faithful would be like asking him to change his eye color, it’s just who he is. He was out to prove her wrong. Sure, it was a bit rocky at the start, because he was so used to living the single life for a long time. But with every situation came a challenge. If he did something that hurt my feelings, I let him know. I took careful steps in the beginning. I kept saying, "He’s gonna hurt me someday." But I hung in there. It’s been about a year now, and I feel our relationship gets stronger every day. I do keep work as work. I try to stay friendly and professional, and I know where to draw the line, especially when you want to save the "good stuff" for the man who truly deserves it.
So how do you handle a relationship with a porn star? The same as you handle any relationship, with mutual understanding, respect, a pleathora of communication, an obscene amount of trust, but most of all…love. Love really does conquer all.
Awww. How cute. I’m getting my sword and shield ready for the alphabet assault: “Germy’s not a porn star. He works once a year. He hasn’t even been nominated for anything. He’s 4 foot 2…”
Clarification: I don’t sleep with any one for a living. If I did it would mean I was renting out 1/2 of my bedroom.
Btw, I was the one who originally coined the phrase “porn star handshake” (male to male version) after we all busted nuts at the end of a gangbang many years ago, as I congratulatorily touched elbows with and said that to another performer.
Porn is just a job. You can and should enjoy your work, but your scene partner doesn’t cook you lunch for breakfast, give you goo goo talk while watching Little Rascals or romantically walk upon the sand at sunset with you while tripping on E. Love is a many splintered thing… The only other pussies I’ve played with off set are our cats.
That was a good read, Lucky Starr (you are an absolute cutie..and you have great skin…Im guessing you drink water on a regular basis)
Anyway…
Do you get jealous when you meet any ladies at an event that Jeremy had sex with in a movie?
What if Jillian Foxxx said in front of you that she really liked the way Jeremy licked her ass on the set of “trailor trash moms” the other day? Or that his cum was delicious and thanks for getting it all in my mouth? Would that make you jealous?
Jeremiah said: “You can and should enjoy your work, but your scene partner doesn’t cook you lunch for breakfast…
Cook you lunch for breakfast? So in the morning…Lucky doesnt bring you eggs and bacon…she brings you a sloppy joe, cole slaw, and some fries…a lunch meal…for breakfast….wow…you guys are kinky
The good side about dating a porn star is she would be ok with about anything you want to do in the bedroom.
The downside would be everything else you can think of. Every other aspect of your life would be affected in a negative way unless you already don’t have a family and friends. Then thats 2 things you don’t have to worry about. Anyone thats serious about dating a porn star for love (and not just lust) had better have a thick skin and alot of self-esteem to handle all those negatives.
Regarding Breakfast in America… I don’t get it. Everythings about looks, here, first n foremost, right? … in fact look right through who’s there, right? So what the fuck is up with the menu? The only thing that might be good for ya, eggs, I personally hate. I love bacon but that’s not too healthy… plus I always think of that talkin’ pig movie and the boar i met at the farm, once. Bagel? Like eating a loaf of bread. Cereal and milk? real healthy, u-huh. Donut? U kiddin me? Pancakes? sugar and glue. Waffles, more of the same. But then chastise the kid if he tries to sneak a cookie for breakfast instead? What’s the difference? Co-co Puffs, all this dye #6,2,4 and 5 colored ink flavored sugar crisps. Gee, why is the world mostly obese? Plus add the fact that Breakfast is the most important meal of the day so it’s best to start it off right, plus for years I would wake up at Lunch time anyway. Nowadays, I start off with something light or just wait for lunch to eat the first time. I try to avoid fries, hate mayo (prefer no cole slaw)
An old slut has gotta watch his or her gut, especially… think about it… years and years and years of this shit in your interiors. yikes.
Regarding your last words, Karmafan, to put it simply: Love is stronger than lust. I don’t need any thick skin and the things that might faze someone else don’t faze me.
Thanks, goatlord. I do take care of myself. I eat right, exercise, drink lots of water, I rarely go out partying, but mostly I’m just genetically gifted. No, I don’t get jealous when I see girls Jeremy’s worked with. If they called him up and talked for him for hours on the phone, that would be another story.
Also if a girl walked up to me and bragged about how Jeremy ate her ass, I’d wait for her to walk away, then I’d say, “Mmmm she’s a classy broad, isn’t she?” If someone in porn has to brag about having sex with someone, that usually means they’re insecure, like having sex with someone is another notch on your belt giving you brownie points in porn star heaven.
lukeisback.com is getting pretty desperate for content.
copy and pasting getting to be too much work?
Germy Steele is a pornstar only the most general and wide ranging sense of the word.
You fall in love with who you fall in love with. I have a monogamous marriage( for the most part, he let me go to the Wild Horse once) We just celebrated our 6th anniversary. Marriage is hard even if you love someone, add 2 kids and no sleep, who has time to do anything but laundry and imlive.com for like 2 hours occasionally, you get over the whole” I’m a porn star thing.
Do you miss the easy porn star days, Ruby?… show up, get fucked, get paid… do you ever think about it while you’re washing laundry and yelling at the kids to shut up? Just wondering.
Big Dick Daddy> is only a human in “the most general and wide ranging sense of the word.”
Miss Biatch,
BigDickDreamer is a post-human, sub-human, dehumanized keyboard warrior, trash talking porno terrorist. Watch out, he’s sociopathic and angry. He’ll mail copies of your movies to your mom. He’s that kind of guy. Makes his kids proud. Btw, what do your kids think of your “big dick”, “Daddy”?
LOL! Jeremy, it seems you pretty much anticipated the response correctly, huh?
As someone who is NOT in the industry, I know I can’t really speak much – but the bottom line is: Fuck ’em, its your life, your girl and your love…
BDD, leave Lucky out of the wars with Steele, she’s a classy broad who’s triumphed over her Catholic education.
I do miss it sometimes, like working with guys before Viagra made any man a pornstar. It wouldn’t be the same even if I came back, but my husbands got a big fat cock which keeps me busy most of the time.
Yeaaaahhh!
Ah, the good ol’ days before enhancements, when tests were quick and cheap, when men got a bone from testosterone, not a pseudo-thrill from sildenafil.
Right, Jag, Larry… we can thank repressive Catholicism, society in general, AID$ Inc., Howard Stern & Celebrity sex tapes for making porn so fuckin’ hip… I think the porno bubble is like the housing bubble, though… wait until it all goes ‘pop!’…
It already popped sweetie.
Yeah, for most of us it’s gone pop. I hear there’s a few still working, though. Rick told me that adultfyi has a good write-up about my old friend Joe Blow retiring. I thought the mantra was supposed to be “Pop until you drop”.
Viagra and the other boner drugs have put some guys in porn who shouldnt be there, with broads anyway and has kept some guys around way past their due dates. To be fair we have some women who are in the same boat. As I read Ruby’s comment about Viagra I’ve thought about how many people I know who use it and that’s only from a previous profession. One guy had diabetes and used to use carvaject…its sad sometimes when people are too frank about their illnesses, and he was like 70. Another guy was around the same age and had a hideously bad rug and one guy took it cause he was on a bunch of anti-depressants. None of these guys were healthy relative to male talent, but I bet a lot of those guys say they have ED.
What a fuckin’ society we live in, with loud commercials blaring out in front of the kids “Consult your doctor if you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours”. Someone should list the side effects of this kind of shit on families the way they ramble off the list of side effects the drug itself causes.
Hey Jeremy good Evening; Yeah I guess Joe is pulling the “PIN” and staying that’s it. I talked to Brandon breifly and he said he didn’t know why? Columbia?? Any way the Viagra thing should be Not call a doctor after a erection after for hours or more…Call the fucking nurse and the Nurses aids and the other females…hell it’ll go down after them or more!