Heidi Mayne Farts A Lot! lol

   
Lets keep it real, shall we?
Current mood:  cooky/wacky

by Heidi Mayne from her myspace blog

I’ve been getting a lot of date invites/requests lately, now that I’m newly single- and that’s nice and all but here’s what you need to know before you dig yourself a hole you wished you didn’t:Oh, and a side note, I expect nothing from my man that I wouldn’t actually do myself- I believe in reciprocation. That being said, here goes nuttin:
– I speak my mind and mean what I say, like it or not

 – I like to be doted on to a degree but not smothered- just let me know you care

 -I expect at least small tokens of your affection for me every now and then, be it a flower or something of that nature

-I like to cuddle…even in the middle of the night, I will grab an arm or something of yours (no not THAT, lol)and hold onto it- its just something I do in my sleep

-You think you’re funny? Got some good one-liners? They now belong to me. Yep, I am a thief of your wittiness- its an art, really, but get used to it, I’m good at it

-I will poke fun at you, not out of malice, but out of love and just plain fun- I expect you to be able to laugh at yourself. If you have no sense of humor, then there is no future

-OK, I am HUMAN, -My feet are hell-a cold, like f-ing corpse feet, and I will touch you with them just to get a rise outta ya

-I snore- not always, but if I have a cold or allergies, watch out!

-Chili and cayenne pepper gives me diahrea- so mexican food is OUT!

-I fart(a lot at times), just ask my ex, I can peal the paint off the walls sometimes, lol—and I burp- let’s just say I’m a gaseous anomoly,lol!

– I’m a little OCD about cleaning these days, I like order

Alrighty then, still think I’m date-worthy? You’re a brave man if ya do..

5 thoughts on “Heidi Mayne Farts A Lot! lol

  1. industrybyrick says:

    As someone who has worked with Heidi recently, I can verify her “other” talents.

  2. MissBiatch2U says:

    I love Heidi’s honesty and funny essays. Plus she’s hot!

  3. Multibrolovingwives says:

    I like a beautiful woman that’s down to earth and not stuck up and Heidi Mayne is a real woman.Hell I’d love to have a chance with her and her comments crack me up!

  4. Larry Horse says:

    Nothing wrong with a broad that can fart and belch. She queef too? That would be a trifecta. Colonel, you’ve shot her, right? What do you think? Off the topic, where does Porno Dan get off calling himself the President of whatever porn company he owns? Does that mean Johnny Thrust can call himself a JM Productions Vice President?

  5. she is a great farter and better painter 😛 Nice and Hot girl 🙂

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